What Love and Money Have in Common

How many of us have ever felt that we've thrown our love away on some undeserving and ungrateful lover? Have you ever found yourself muttering something about an ex that included the words 'swine' and 'pearls' in among the expletives?

No, of course you wouldn't dream of turning the air blue with strong statements about hurt and disappointment. But you might well have wondered how your love could be wasted. What kind of a world is it where 'the power of love' ? strange how the topic lends itself to song titles - is not paramount; where, contrary to what Beverley Knight sings, you can love in vain.

The thing is, for as long as you choose to see love as both mystery and miracle, blind passion and the magic word that sanctions our choices (including the most self-indulgent behaviours), you will believe - despite all evidence to the contrary ? that 'love conquers everything'.

But just suppose that there is a Love Superhighway, just like the Wealth Superhighway. Just like the Wealth Superhighway, the Love Superhighway has 4 lanes. "It has??!", you exclaim in amazement. Yes, as of right now, it has. They are:

· Equity

· Property

· Minding Your Own Business

· Managing Your Passions

Notice that the Emotional Lottery has no more place in the Love Superhighway than the National Lottery does in the Wealth Superhighway. The point is, it's all about choosing your investments. If you choose to channel your emotional capital into company with a bad track record and poor management, for whatever reason, the chances are you'll lose it.

But does that mean your love was in vain, or was it more an attempt at alchemy ? and control? Were you using your emotional capital to try and make a poor bet into a blue chip relationship? There's nothing wrong with playing the Emotional Lottery; provided you know that's what you're doing.

So back to the 4 lanes of the Emotional Superhighway.

Equity is the capital you invest in the relationship. For your capital to grow, not only do you have to invest it well in the first place, but if keep yanking it out on a whim, you'll end up making big losses.

Property When you enter into a relationship, you both bring emotional property to the table; anything from a scuzzy terrace to a glorious mansion. From these beginnings you can develop a shared portfolio? or not. And you can maintain and refurbish the property as necessary? or let it run down.

Minding your own business means maintaining your own boundaries and respecting your partner's otherness. Ok, it may be much easier to mind your partner's business ? all of the fun and none of the responsibility - but it will put huge strain on interpersonal relations.

Managing your own passions is simply the grown up alternative to dumping bad feelings on your partner. 'I'll make myself feel better, by getting you to feel worse' is every bit as good a strategy as running up credit card debt to buy a Chanel handbag.

In the end, you could argue that your relationship is a vehicle with you in the driving seat. The choices you make determine whether you drive an old banger that isn't roadworthy or whether you glide down the freeway in a glorious high powered saloon.

(C) Annie Kaszina 2004

Annie Kaszina
Joyful Coaching
An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie is passionate about helping women attract the relationships they want. Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com Websites: http://www.joyfulcoaching.com, http://www.anniekaszina.com To Order Annie's book 'The Woman You Want To Be': http://www.joyfulcoaching.com

---

Putting Yourself on the Road to Success

What separates successful people from unsuccessful people, achievers from non-achievers,... Read More

Speak Up!

Ever been in a meeting with something important to say... Read More

Your Authentic Self

Our journey through life can lead us to surprising and... Read More

The Monkey And The Spreadsheet

When the mind was fidgety, like a monkeyWhen you felt... Read More

5 Practical Shyness Tips That Work Everytime

We all experience a little shyness at times with people... Read More

The Beast

What does one do when one is too old, too... Read More

Body Language Counts!

Why communication through body language and appropriate language are crucial... Read More

Perception Is Reality

"We think, therefore we are."God always gives us what we... Read More

Top 10 Keys to Attracting More Clients!

It's always easier to attract the things we want in... Read More

One of the Many Ways That The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles Gets It Right

I probably would not be able to count the number... Read More

The Power of Desire- Part 2

Let's continue where we left off in Part 1...We have... Read More

9 Exercises to Enhance Your Self-Expertise

Personal Self-Expertise is an invaluable tool that transforms the way... Read More

What Next?

When we are faced with making a change we often... Read More

Prosperity on Purpose for a Purpose

Whilst everyone seems hell bent on becoming "wealthy" at all... Read More

Better Than a Million Dollar Lottery Win

Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were... Read More

The Power of Desire - Part 1

What is Desire? Let us see! Webster tells us that... Read More

Isnt It Time to Give Yourself Permission?

Remember back in school days when you needed a permission... Read More

Correcting a Gap Between the Teeth

As we age and our teeth shift, a gap between... Read More

No Ifs, Ands Or Buts

If we could choose right now, this moment, how we... Read More

What Did I Do? Will Someone Tell me?

There are many systems, psychology analyzes and personality typing in... Read More

Are You Thinking About What Youre Thinking About

Do you realize that your belief system is ultimately what... Read More

Getting the Universe to Work for You

Wouldn't it be great to know that you have something... Read More

Wayne Dyer - 20 Abundance & Prosperity Quotes

Dr. Wayne Dyer has been an inspiration for me for... Read More

Our Fascination with Pop Culture and What It Says About Us

I took a look at the top 500 hits on... Read More

Heal Thyself First

As I connect with more and more women I am... Read More

Who Do You Think You Are?

Are you totally in love with your life?Whatever your current... Read More

10 Ways to Survive and Celebrate Valentine?s Day When You Are Single

Do you feel all alone and out of sorts on... Read More

Achieving Your Highest Potential: The Journey Begins With Self Awareness

We live in a world filled with beliefs, values, and... Read More

Listening Is As Important As Speaking

While engaging in conversations with friends and co-workers, how often... Read More

Dont Take It Personally

Many of you already know that I've been divorced for... Read More

What People Are Really Interested In & How to Win Friends

A lot of your people problems and concerns about what... Read More

If Something Shows Up 3 Times, Is That a Sign That Its Right for Me?

Have you heard yourself or others say: "This has shown... Read More

Four Steps to Attracting More Good Luck

The Luck Factor rips apart the notion that luck is... Read More