What Did I Do? Will Someone Tell me?

There are many systems, psychology analyzes and personality typing in order to help people understand one another.

One of the areas that causes a lot of grief in business and especially in relationships, is that no matter what category you fall into you are either a:

Say
Show
Feel

Discovering what the other person is in this area, can take you a long way in building relations, credibility, confidence and the ability to make the other person happy.

Why so much in one area. Based on the persons type,(and most don't even realize which they are) on a subconscious level they expect the other person to treat them the same way.

Here is an example of how this works:

At home:
A husband come home with flowers and says here, the wife says that's nice but doesn't seem overly thrilled.

He gets annoyed and says what's wrong. She says why can you say be that you love me?

He now upset says, I just did, I brought you flowers didn't I? She gets up set and leaves the room. He throws up his arms and says, "I just can't win."

At work:
The manager notices that his crew did a great job on the last project. He thinks, I should do something for them. He goes out and gets something. It could be anything from donuts to a bonus on their next check. Yet, 2/3rds of them seem upset. He thinks great! There is just no pleasing some people, why do I even try?

So, what is happening with these two scenarios?

People accept and desire appreciation shown in different manners.

For the at home example:
The man is a show type of personality. He understands and shows his love or appreciation by things. Where as his wife understands it by words. For another person, they would understand it only by being embraced, hugged or kissed. Yet, most of the time we don't even know for ourselves what we are and expect the other person to know.

For the at work example:
Some of the people just wanted to hear the boss say, "Hey, you did a great job". They would then try harder in the future to continue their work effort.

Others would prefer to have the boss come up, shake their hand, and feel the interaction show a more valid display of appreciation.

In each scenario, there will be people, who to show love or appreciation need:

Things
Words
Contact

By listen to how they answer your questions, it can be fairly easy to understand what they are. This can be very helpful when you have had a lot of conflict in a business or personal partnership:

Notice if they say:
I see, (Things oriented, also visual)
I hear what you are saying. (Appreciate words)
Or, I feel upset or happy. (Desire interaction)

No matter what type the person is, it is important to notice what language they are using. It is also important to remember that there are no hard and fast rules. Many people are a combination of two or all three. The important thing is to try out different ways and notice how they react to each.

This can go along way and bridging the gap in many communication barriers.

All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
http://www.falconfreedom.com
http://www.mariaboomhower.blogspot.com

P.S. If you like what you're reading in this ezine, you'll love the book, "Overcoming Barriers to Communication." It's a manual that helps you overcome the challengers that start with Intrapersonal to Interpersonal and on to Mass Communication. Overcoming Barriers to Communication

---

Digging To The Root Of Your Problem

Most people have some aspects of themselves that they would... Read More

Mirror, Mirror

The Concept of Beauty"Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who's the... Read More

Coping As A Caregiver

Few people are prepared for the responsibilities and tasks involved... Read More

What Do You Want This Year?

Christmas is all around us, and many people are making... Read More

Isnt It Time to Give Yourself Permission?

Remember back in school days when you needed a permission... Read More

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror?

'Image & Professionalism' we hear these words being thrown around... Read More

Make Money by Making a Life as Mother Teresa Did

Many people forget business is a way of service. When... Read More

What is the Universal Law of Attraction?

Most of the time, we attract by 'default' rather than... Read More

Hot Date Tonight?

Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a... Read More

How to Take Control of Your Self Confidence

If you think success, happiness and love are going to... Read More

Two Principles That Can Change Your Life Completely

First principle: You and the universe is one.In order to... Read More

The Pearl Story

I'm going to tell you the story of one of... Read More

Are You a Sheep in People Clothing?

Many people, who feel that they are independent and communicate... Read More

Embrace Change

Last Sunday I was sitting in on a class we... Read More

Change Your Mind, Shift Your Life

Everyone can draw from the Universal Reserve Bank. What is... Read More

7 Simple Tips For Cultivating Tons Of Confidence

Confidence without competence is a dangerous combination. Make it easy... Read More

Overcoming Underearning ? Recognizing the Problem and Taking the First Steps Towards A Solution

Underearning is a process of not really making enough to... Read More

Manifesting Your Abundance

I believe in myself, therefore, I have all that my... Read More

Getting the Universe to Work for You

Wouldn't it be great to know that you have something... Read More

A Magnificent Obsession Is The Best Medicine!

The idea I'm about to share with you can bring... Read More

Body Language Counts!

Why communication through body language and appropriate language are crucial... Read More

Abundance Of Money - Abundance Of Love

How much happiness is there in a piece of paper... Read More

4 Steps To Having the Life You REALLY Want!

Over time, the TIP's Letters that receive the most response... Read More

A Life of Adventure?

In a conversation recently, a friend remarked to me: "Every... Read More

Making New Friends

How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into... Read More

Heal Thyself First

As I connect with more and more women I am... Read More

How To Master The Art of Conversation

The art of conversation is a skill shared by most... Read More

The Art of Perfecting the Life

First of all, you have to trust that you are... Read More

Ten Tips For Setting (And Keeping) Life Changing Resolutions

It's time for that annual ritual of making (and breaking)... Read More

On Uniqueness

Is being special or unique a property of an object... Read More

Compounding Effect of Selfishness

Five-year-old Katie asked for a coin for her to throw... Read More

What Do You Want Out of Life?

What are you willing to give up in order to... Read More

Finding Your Passion

Where does our motivation come from? What makes us want... Read More