You are the only one that can give confidence to yourself. I've learned this over many years of looking for recognition in all the wrong places, from other people. Like it or not some people in our lives don't want us to succeed, and they can be the ones you closest to you.
People in our family or professional lives can have control issues, are insecure or saboteurs. They haven't succeeded or are unhappy and they might want you to suffer with them. The first step to saying yes to you is to take an inventory of those you interact with day-to-day. Take a close look at your business associates, spouse, partner and relatives. Do you hear a lot of "yes, but" or "your wrong"? If so that's a flag your self-confidence is being eroded. Do you propose starting a new business; job, relationship or friendship and you hear a negative response? Sounds like a naysayer; risk is an important part of self-confidence, you will never move forward if you have fear of failure.
Saboteurs appear like they support you, but really want you to fail, so they can tell you that they told you so. Saboteurs want things to stay the way they are, with them in control of you. Insecure people are control oriented; the power they receive from being in control of others feed that need. People that lack self-confidence are change-resistive, if you gain self-confidence they might loose you or you might succeed more than them. Many saboteurs rely on pecking order to justify their control; parents, spouses and supervisors can erode your confidence by qualifying their rejection of your proposed idea by just being your parent, spouse or supervisor. If you believe in what you want, disrupt the pecking order and take the risk. When you succeed they'll say it was their idea and supported you from the beginning.
Developing self-confidence comes from within. Start to validate and recognize small and large achievements in yourself. Understand that success is defined by each of us individually and others might not be aware of your success goals. People will challenge your goals. Your determination to achieve self-confidence will be questioned many times, but the key to self-confidence is saying yes to you!
Mark Nash is an author of four books, including his recently released 1001 Tips for Buying and Selling a Home. Mark has been a commentator for CBS The Early Show, Bloomberg TV, interviewed by national newspapers and his articles have been widely syndicated in print and electronic media.
A more positive future, a happier life, a body that's... Read More
One of the biggest potential problems we face with every... Read More
There are many stories of people injuring themselves, and others,... Read More
During these times of uncertainty in the outside world, look... Read More
There is no such thing as failure ? only feedback... Read More
Many people would say that it is absolute madness to... Read More
"It really works!" "Well, I'll be?!"BJ like so many others... Read More
Knowing yourself is the foundation of self-esteem, self confidence and... Read More
Maureen worked in an office with twenty other people, processing... Read More
One often hears people say they can't sketch because they... Read More
What is an affirmation? One possible definition is a specific... Read More
Know thyself.These words were inscribed in the vestibule of the... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
The world is going downhill faster than an Olympic skier.... Read More
We are all involved in this game called life and... Read More
In view of the increasing negative events happening around the... Read More
You don't need to a piece of paper to prove... Read More
Thinkers know better than to be racist. It's generally understood... Read More
Near the end of December 2004, I received an email... Read More
Heard of a raindance? It is a ritual used by... Read More
Few people are aware of the thoughts that pass through... Read More
You are the only one that can give confidence to... Read More
Are you completely happy in your life right now? Honestly?... Read More
Why do we help others? There is a whole lot... Read More
Lately, there has been a collective challenge to avoid being... Read More
Last time we talked about how to begin building the... Read More
Are you the kind of person who dwells on your... Read More
So people will reject us no matter how good we... Read More
You have probably noticed those people at work, school, and... Read More
Human nature is created so that you can choose your... Read More
The way we use language can have a huge impact... Read More
Being a mom can take a toll on your body,... Read More
IntroductionWe can find all type of people in this world... Read More
WE ARE ALL THINKING ALL OF THE TIME.Can you believe... Read More
We all know there are ways to become a better... Read More
Once upon a time, I was a vibrant, youthful teenager...My... Read More
In his all-time bestselling record The Strangest Secret, author Earl... Read More
"Who am I fooling?" "I'm a loser," "I'm too old,"... Read More
Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Is the glass... Read More
It's a fact of life - if you want to... Read More
The one thing that is absolutely vital to overcoming shyness... Read More
So what is a limiting belief?Don't you love the current... Read More
In order for you to make positive ground daily you... Read More
One of our most active senses is sight. What we... Read More
I am an educator as well as a coach and... Read More
Spring is here at last! The season brings with it... Read More
Have you ever thought about you have a lot to... Read More
Everyone of us has the potential to successfully more through... Read More
I have studied the idea of changing thoughts to create... Read More
Dear Friends,All human beings have a unique ability right from... Read More
Your response (reaction?) to change is conditioned by your entire... Read More
Millions struggle through life barely earning enough to survive. Many... Read More
"We can change our circumstances by a mere change of... Read More
In 1978, Erma Bombeck wrote a book entitled "The Grass... Read More
Whether it's the other kids making fun of you at... Read More
In the latest and final Star Wars saga, Anakin Skywalker... Read More
Are you a person who loves challenges, or hates them?... Read More
Kasia is a talented landscape designer who speaks several languages,... Read More
I need your help. I did a good deed recently,... Read More
Music penetrates our mental barriers and influences the deepest areas... Read More
At your next staff meeting lead your team through the... Read More
Aging is a matter of the mind.The years may creep... Read More
Do you really believe that there is anything in this... Read More
In my years as a psychologist, I have come to... Read More
Thinkers know better than to be racist. It's generally understood... Read More
A day in your life is a brief and precious... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |