I'll admit it ... I'm a spiritual tramp. I've spent the last few years slutting around, looking for a cure for all my aches and pains. So far the only thing I seem to have cured is my curiosity. This morning, as I rose from my bed, feeling worse than ever, I found myself summing up the total experience of my New Age Vision Quest with one Monty Python line: "Nobody ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!" For like the Spanish Inquisition, the goal of New Age Therapies is to get you to confess -- for instance -- you're lying on a table, all blissed out, and then suddenly some healer, with a gentle voice sticks a needle attached to an electrode in between your front and second toe, mumbles something about "activating the Chi in your angry liver" and then walks away with a sadistic chuckle telling you"it's all right to scream if you want" while recalling painful childhood memories.
For all of you that are not familiar with the many New Age Tortures out there let me demystify the magic behind some of these healing practices:
Cranio-Sacral Therapy: A healer bids you to lie down on a white-sheeted table. Time to relax? Mais, non. It is time for the Spanish Inquisition! After explaining that the bony plates in your skull are not unlike the shifting tectonic plates beneath the earth's crust, causing all manner of nervous upsets, migraines and general unwellness, the healer cradles your head in his hands and begins to squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until you feel just like Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind, (in that scene where Clark Gable tries to physically squeeze the memory of Ashley Wilkes out of Vivian Leigh's head.) While the healer has your head in his vise-like grip he will urge you to confess some deep, dark memory of hidden child-abuse or forgotten head injury (like the time you banged your head on the sharp corner of the coffee table when you were six years old,) When you don't confess, the healer rebukes you by sighing and acting generally disappointed and requests that you come back for another appointment.
Aromatherapy: "Smell this eucalyptus!" beseeches the pretty aromatherapist. "And these geranium, rose and orange oils." If you pour these scents into this one hundred and fifty dollar aromatherapy diffuser I'm about to sell you, I promise you'll be back in two weeks to tell me how much better you feel!!. Unfortunately, I must confess that my place now smells like a whore house in Morocco and I still don't feel any better!
Positive Affirmations: This is a New Age torture that you can do to yourself in the privacy of your own home! All you have to do is repeat to yourself again and again, a positive affirmation such as "Every day in every way I am getting better and better." until all other thoughts of unwellness are eclipsed by this one excellent statement. I must confess, that after a few weeks of reciting this again and again that I feel that "every day in every way I am getting more and more repetitive."
Rolfing: "Oh, goody. Time for a pleasant, relaxing massage" you think as you enter the pleasant office of the professional Rolfer. No. It is time for the Spanish Inquisition! The next thing you know, the Rolfer has jammed his long sinewy fingers deep into your joints, right into the bones and is pulling, squeezing and stretching every sinew of your tissue out of alignment. You feel like each of your limbs as been tied to four horses which are about to run in different directions and while this is happening the Rolfer beseeches you to confess, to cry out, to laugh, to release verbally any memory which has been lurking deep inside your muscular tissues. Soon, you find yourself just making stories up, about the time you were molested by your hillbilly cousin, just to appease the cruel monster if only this torture would please, just, stop. ALL right! I CONFESS! THIS HURTS! Just please make it stop...
Samantha Steven's articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha's books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=1 10 You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com
Some words about anti-aging and disease preventionThe aging process is... Read More
I am a Medical Intuitive in the San Francisco Bay... Read More
Breathing, yes of course we do it, if not we'd... Read More
What is biofeedback?In biofeedback you expand self-awareness and practice powerful... Read More
Tea Tree Oil (Melaleuca alternifolia) has a proven history of... Read More
Within each one of us resides the divine healer. All... Read More
Immunoglobulin E is an antibody, which is secreted from the... Read More
Abuse of any kind is difficult to deal with. Types... Read More
Holistic Practitioners are holistic healing professionals with a gift in... Read More
Anal warts treatmentAnal warts, otherwise known as genital warts or... Read More
As the old saying goes, are you "a picture of... Read More
Welcome to another exciting issue of "The Home Made Medicine... Read More
Aging occurs due to the growth of the tissues and... Read More
The term 'alternative medicine' that is so commonly used today... Read More
Alternative medicine is gaining more attention every day. The idea... Read More
Recently, the term "isopropyl alcohol" has been liken to poisonous... Read More
Ever have a bee sting? Try rubbing an aspirin on... Read More
Tea Tree Oil is one of the most useful products... Read More
In recent years the issue of Alternative Healing has taken... Read More
Those who have watched the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"... Read More
Asian HerbsI have found Chinese herb formulations quite effective in... Read More
It should not be hard for anyone to imagine that... Read More
Each of us most likely has at least one memory... Read More
There are many different treatments for people who stutter/stammer. In... Read More
In my workshops we use energy techniques that involve tapping... Read More
"If you truly love Nature, you will find beauty everywhere"... Read More
You purchase a beautiful area rug. You know just where... Read More
Here are a variety of home remedies for constipation using... Read More
Developed in Asia over 5,000 years ago, acupressure is an... Read More
This title to a book by Rudolph Ballentine deserves more... Read More
The evening primrose oil which we use is extracted from... Read More
Constipation is a problem that affects many Americans every day.... Read More
Here is how to build a natural smoothie that can... Read More
The Way Essential Oils Effect the Etheric Body or Psycho-spiritual... Read More
The chakras are an important part of our energy anatomy.... Read More
People with alcohol and drug problems have been done a... Read More
You purchase a beautiful area rug. You know just where... Read More
The problem of high levels of CO2 in ambient air... Read More
My Fun Commandments are more relevant today than ever before... Read More
Holistic Health involves natural treatment options like holistic health nutrition,... Read More
It's amazing what you can find when you start your... Read More
Can Color Therapy Be Used With Other Healing Techniques?Yes, color... Read More
Has this ever happened to you, out of the blue,... Read More
Recently I read a book by William L. Fischer called... Read More
The major difference between alternative medicine, or what I'll call... Read More
It is important to be aware of the great archetypal... Read More
Most consumers have heard of probiotics and know that they... Read More
Aromatherapy works in several ways to combat common ailments. Essential... Read More
Life in today's hectic society is going more and more... Read More
Taking Control of Your Health & Well-being ... Read More
Most doctors don't ask you about your regularity. They may... Read More
Breathing is the source of life: if breathing stops, do... Read More
With natural health care so popular, an area that has... Read More
REIKI is a form of natural healing through direct application... Read More
Those who are plagued by allergies are always struggling to... Read More
So, where does disease come from? How does it get... Read More
Americans are ridiculed around the world for our attention to... Read More
Places Suitable for Use of Aromatherapy Products: living room, bedroom,... Read More
Why is smell so strongly linked to memory and emotion?It... Read More
What is Aromatherapy?It is the practice of using volatile plant... Read More
The immune system in your body is an amazing functionality... Read More
Holistic Practitioners are holistic healing professionals with a gift in... Read More
Since the dawn of civilization, man has always turned to... Read More
FENG SHUI BASICSFeng Shui (literally "Wind and Water" in Chinese),... Read More
Natural remedies can heal and have been around for centuries.... Read More
Carrot JuiceCarrot juices contain certain oils that work on the... Read More
Alternative Medicine |