Not Letting Them Think.
We all implicitly know that anything questioning the process of cognition itself will be met with massive irritation, making us want to respond with "Don't question my capacity to think." Their moronic reasoning to show how logic is derived, provokes the thought, "Don't try to tell me how to think." Forcing their opinions down your throat earns the response, "Don't tell me what to think." Some parents show no respect for personal boundaries long after childhood, straightening your clothes, your hair, invading your privacy-incessantly buzzing around you like a mosquito. This belittlement implies incompetent dependency-a fundamental insult to Man or animal-any way you slice it. These actions tick everyone off, at any stage in life.
Their children are a test bed for ill technology-the grand experiment-saying "In this child, the great dream will be made real," and they hold them to their own irrational standard of how they wish life to be. They experiment with violence, as if forcing kids to practice the senseless can make it succeed, and then take aggression out on them when it fails. They trounce on their children's right to life by their gift of life. They punish them for having preferences. They force them into unchosen activities, pushing them into unnecessary competition in areas they care or don't care for, straining kid's friendships and taking the joy out of everything. Eventually their children accept patterns of repression, whose unchosen and unhappy situations follows them into adulthood.
Breaking life down into philosophic essentials, the motives that drive ideas and actions either go on one side-the side of life, or on the other-the side of death. Maybe five percent of parents I have known had a conscious understanding of intellectual essentials and could convey them effectively to children. Thinking is exactly what they don't know how to explain or train. Most wouldn't want to harm children if they knew better, but often they don't and at some point they made the choice not to know. That is their guilt. The crucial point is that their actions affect the child positively or negatively according to existential cause and effect, regardless of their claimed intentions. So what do they do? They try to live their lives for them. They buzz in their face like an insect and never leave them alone, saying "Why do you have to do it my way? Because, that's why. Do you want to be grounded? Don't question me." They offer no chain, make no attempt to teach one and penalize children for reasoning through what doesn't make sense to them. Riddled with cognitive errors and brimming with inexperience, they'll refuse to spank their child as a moral stand when pleasure and pain are the first rudimentary connections a child can make, and their children never learn to respect social boundaries. Instead they'll attempt to explain the ramifications of being good or bad when it's still well outside their cognitive range. Some hit unjustly, choosing violence as the constant solution instead of responsibly engaging a child ready for more complex understandings. A smothering parent will choose their children's diet, their interests, their friends, their schedule, their career, their mate, you name it, claiming to care. They will be hated, and as the children grow, both will make each other miserable. When the kids leave, don't expect to see them for a long, long time.
There is no justification for our every action being checked by another. Alone, we can relax. We can try new things, test and entertain conclusions with no need for immediate validation. There are no disagreements to have and no justifications to clear with ourselves, only dysfunctions to identify and inefficiencies to overcome. Few things are more valuable than a safely executed mistake. There are questions in life that need not be answered on the spot. Experience with the cognitive process itself will provide the completed picture; kids must only remain free to exercise it. Parental interference is a confession that they don't understand the cognitive process themselves, and don't trust their children to use it either. It is inappropriate to attempt to raise another consciousness until you have mastered your own.
Copyright 2005 Ronald E Springer
Ronald E. Springer is the Author/Philosopher of Moral Armor, the world's first fully-integrated moral philosophy based on the nature of Man. Featured on The Mitch Albom Show, NBC and FOX News radio affiliates, Mr. Springer is available for interviews, speaking engagements, philosophy workshops and seminars. Please contact RonaldESpringer@MoralArmor.com or visit http://www.MoralArmor.com for details.
Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More
There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More
"Get down from the table top right now! What are... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More
Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
A friend phoned her neighbor, complaining about the wafts of... Read More
1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More
Software for parental control is a useful tool, if applied... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
Even though the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More
A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely,... Read More
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More
In a single dose of children's television, I was bombarded... Read More
Here we will come to know who are the most... Read More
The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say... Read More
Successful parents have learned to be both firm and kind... Read More
1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More
What is in a name?The answer is everything!Jo J. of... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our... Read More
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the phrase that is... Read More
Being a parent is a role that requires a large... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More
It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More
How excited do kids get with the start of school... Read More
Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
Parenting |