The Twenty-First Century Parent

John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large company. He's married and has 3 children, ages 7, 9, and 12. His wife works part-time as a nursing assistant, and they both do as much as they can to parent their children well.

John has developed serious doubts about his ability to be an effective parent in the last couple of years. All of his kids are involved in after school activities, and his demands at work are greater than they've ever been. His lack of time with his kids bothers him a great deal, but he doesn't dare take more time off from work. He's also bothered by his inability to get his kids to listen to him, and he's resorted to yelling and threats as measures of discipline.

John's family seems rushed all the time, and the routines in the morning and at bedtime are almost always chaotic. He often doesn't have the energy when he gets home from work to spend quality time with his kids, and he feels his relationships with them are growing more distant. In particular, he's struggling with his twelve-year-old daughter's behavior. John feels he has little in common with her at this stage in their lives.

Welcome to the life of an American parent in the 21st century.

There are many reasons that parenting today is more difficult than in years past. Here are a few of them:

? The typical, middle income married couple family works 3,885 hours ? that's an increase of 247 hours, or nearly six weeks, more than their counterparts ten years ago.

? Working couples lost an average of 22 hours a week of family and personal time between 1969 and 1999.

? In the last three decades, American families are eating 33% fewer meals together as a family.

? In 1990, the American advertisers spent 100 million dollars advertising to children. In 2000, they spent 2 billion dollars in their advertising to children.

Alvin Toffler once said, "Parenthood remains the greatest single preserve of the amateur." For too long, parents have taken on the most important job they'll ever have with little or no training. Parents can't afford to be amateurs anymore. They must arm themselves with the knowledge, support, and discipline needed to parent their kids effectively. They must take responsibility for the impact their parenting will have on their children. And they must recognize that in today's culture, their kids need them to be there more than ever.

In John's case, hiring a coach helped him to:

? Simplify the life of his family, so they could spend more time together.

? Learn positive discipline skills, so the daily routines went more smoothly and there were fewer conflicts.

? Develop a plan to put in place when he got angry, so he wouldn't do or say something he'd regret later.

? Learn stress reduction skills, both at work and at home, and to learn how to "transition" between work and home.

? Learn how to be less judgmental with his daughter, and to find specific ways to be more connected with her.

Though parenthood can be extremely difficult and challenging at times, it can also be incredibly fulfilling and enjoyable. Most of us would never think of starting a new career without the information and training necessary to be effective. Do we think our job as a parent is less important? Effective parenting skills can be learned by anyone who cares enough to commit to them, and by anyone who knows the importance of good parenting to the future of their kids.

It's time for parents to consider ways they can improve. It may be the best investment they'll ever make.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com or email him at mark@markbrandenburg.com.

---

Child Discipline - Be Consistent With Your Child

The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More

Some Thoughts on Counseling Goals for ADHD

What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More

Backpacks and Bullies. Is Your Child Prepared?

As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents... Read More

Why Creativity and Self-Expression are Important to Little Kids

Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More

Childrens Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?

Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More

Whos Your Daddy? How to be a Great Dad in 5 to 7 Minutes

I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More

Parents - Create An Emotionally Healthy Connection With Your Child

"I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More

I WONT DO IT! Tips for Working with the Oppositional Child

"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More

Choosing a Daycare or Pre-School ? Top Ten Safety Tips

When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More

A Good Preschool Idea

The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More

6 Ways to Communicate Clearly with Your Teen

How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More

The Family Guy - Parenting From a Single Dads Perspective

It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More

Teaching Your Child To Lift a Car

Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More

School Days - Top 10 Tips for Establishing a Good Routine

Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: What is Impulsivity?

Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More

Nights by a Pinocchio Lamp

Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More

Parents Need to Vent Anger! Try These 4 Steps to Serenity

Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More

Saving Money on Preschool: Readiness Skills Needed for Kindergarten

As a mom of 4 who's youngest child is about... Read More

Fuzzy Names, Sweet Names

As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More

School Issues: When Should an ADHD Child Be Held Back In School?

This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More

Parents and Children Working Together

When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More

Why have children? DINCs, This is For You!

First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More

Teenagers and Trouble - How Parents Can Keep their Teens Out of Trouble

Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky... Read More

The Ten Most Common Poisons Among Kids

For parents, keeping our kids safe is a constant top... Read More

No, No, No -- What Else is a Parent to Say?

The word no is probably the most overused word in... Read More

The Real Problem With Todays Teenagers (And Why Most Parents Just Dont Get It!)

An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More

Parenting - The Irrational Vocation

There are some grounds to assume that a cognitive dissonance... Read More

Summer Camp Care Packages

Every summer our daughter goes to summer camp. She looks... Read More

Film Industry and Our Youth

In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More

Life Stuck In Fast Forward

the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More

Now, They?re Bullying My Daughter in Our Home: Welcome to Cyber-bullying

Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More

Hair Care for Children

Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 8 Things You Need to Be Doing

Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More