Q: Our son has been in honors classes all through school up until his junior year last year, when his grades took a dive. What could be going on and what can we do about it?
A: The cause of suddenly declining grades in school can often be found in one of seven categories.
Many times it's not just one issue, but a combination of issues.
Seven deadly reasons and then what to do about them
1) Some very bright kids have gotten through school so far by just showing up. They are bright enough to simply show up for class on a regular basis, listen with half an ear, and still do very well. At some point, however, they reach a level where just showing up stops working and they actually have to put forth some effort. If they have never had to study before, they may not know how. So learning how to study and work in school is the solution that is called for in this case.
2) Another version of the above issue is that at some point, the work gets difficult enough that previously unrecognized learning difficulties begin to surface. The student may have found ways to cope on his own, and those coping strategies are no longer working. He was bright and creative enough to find his own strategies to deal with the learning challenges, but now he needs some assistance. The first step is to get him evaluated to see if there are any learning difficulties, and the next step is to learn strategies to deal with whatever learning difficulties are discovered.
3) There are times when the chosen field of rebellion becomes school and grades. This is especially true if the kid gets it that school is more important to the parents than it is to her, and the parents have been pushing too hard for too long. The parents are complaining that the kid takes no responsibility for school and the kid complains that the parents are always nagging about school. The solution here is to put the teen in charge of school. If she then handles school, the parents can then back off. If, after having been put in charge of school, she does not handle school, then she has given her parents a personal invitation to bug the heck out of her about school. Most teens will go to any length to avoid that scenario.
4) Sometimes depression can be the cause of suddenly declining grades. Has the teen or family been under a great deal of stress in recent weeks, experienced the loss of a loved one, a change in a parent's job, an unwanted move? Is a parent away in the war? All of these things can result in a depression that prevents the teen from performing well at school. If you suspect depression, get your teen to a family physician for an evaluation.
5) Sometimes I see a smart kid is just plain bored, and thus has no motivation to do well. When you are trying to decide on the most useful consequences for bad performance, you need to know whether the child is motivated more by wanting to avoid something negative or achieve something positive. That's why the "putting the teen in charge of school" solution mentioned above also works well in this situation. When it works, the student has avoided being nagged and gotten to be more in charge of himself.
6) Related to the motivation problem, some teens just run out of gas. After having put so much energy into school for so many years, sometimes there is just nothing left. In many of these cases, the child and/or parents are overachieving perfectionists and are just worn out.
One solution is to work with both the parents and the child on the difference between excellence and perfection. Shooting for perfection will wear you out, while aiming for excellence keeps the energy flowing. In addition to learning the difference between perfection and excellence, a time of rest away from school also will help.
7) There are a variety of other agendas that could be in the way as well. A teen could be messing around with drugs, could be skipping school, or wants to sabotage school in order to win a battle or go to another school, or some other agenda known only to him. If you have trouble implementing any of these solutions, or school has just become a battleground issue in your family, you'll want to consider making an appointment with a family therapist to help you get unstuck and back on the road.
For more tips and tools for back to school success, parenting coach Jeff Herring invites you to visit Back to School Success Tips
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of LoveOn Mother's... Read More
College is one of the largest expenses through the course... Read More
'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
So you're going to become a father. Now is not... Read More
Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More
For many adults, reading a book or newspaper seems effortless.... Read More
Does the homework battle so typical with your hyperactive or... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
"Get down from the table top right now! What are... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More
Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
When a child wets the bed they worry. Children tend... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Levels of SafetyBy teaching our children there are different levels... Read More
When you talk about multiply your child's intelligence, you can't... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
Q: My husband and I are at a loss as... Read More
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More
There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More
Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More
My thirteen-year-old daughter recently called me up to say she... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The... Read More
As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More
Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way... Read More
All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
We all want to comfort our children after they suffer... Read More
Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
According to the American Sleep Association 70% of all babies... Read More
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
In today's busy world, many parents have lost the art... Read More
No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child... Read More
Parenting |