Motivation: Tearing Down Your Own Limitations

Q.: I've always been sort of cynical about all this motivational stuff. Lots of rah-rah but no how-to. Now I see all these commercials that talk about no limits, no boundaries, etc. But there are real limits, and I think this stuff misleads a lot of people. What do you think?

A.: You are absolutely right on at least two counts.

Most of the motivational stuff out there is too much rah-rah and not enough what-to-do.

You are also correct in saying there are limits in our lives. Gravity is one. You can ignore it, not believe in it, or act like it does not apply to you, and gravity won't care at all. There are limits. I'm not going to lose 20 pounds in a day, barring amputation.

Where you are stuck is in the difference between limits and limitations. A limit is a physical restriction, an unchangeable part of life. A limitation is a psychological restriction, a changeable part of life.

We get stuck when we believe that our changeable limitations are unchangeable limits.

Here's an example:

An elephant is a large and powerful animal. But a baby elephant can be tethered around an ankle with the tether firmly staked into the ground. Over time, it learns that the tether will hold it and behaves accordingly. A mature elephant could easily break the tether or pull up the stake, but it believes in the limitation that it cannot.

For the most part, people are smarter than elephants. Unlike elephants, we can get past most of the limitations in our lives. Here's how:

A limitation is nothing more than a firm belief regarding something about yourself. For our purposes here, a belief is merely a feeling of certainty about something.

Think of a limitation as a tabletop, and the beliefs that support the limitation as the legs that hold up the table. If you knock the legs out from under a table, it will fall. In the same way, if we knock the beliefs out from under the limitation, the limitation will fall, too.

Let's say you believe that you could never go to a fitness center because you would be too embarrassed. The beliefs that support your limitation are:

(1) You are too out of shape and everyone else is in great shape;

(2) everyone else will look at you;

(3) your dad told you that you were not much of an athlete.

Let's tear down those beliefs:

(1) Thinking you have to be in shape before you go to the gym is sort of like saying you have to know how to drive before you get behind the wheel of a car. You learn by getting behind the wheel with someone more experienced than you. Gyms are for people who are out of shape.

(2) Most people are too busy looking at themselves in the mirror to pay much attention to you.

(3) Your dad was wrong.

Once you tear down the lies of a limitation, you can put up some truth in their place. The truth is that fitness centers were made for people like you, and all you have to do is walk in and join.

I challenge you to take a hard look at some of the limitations in your life, knock out the false beliefs, tear down the lies and put up some truths. After all, it's not what we don't know that hurts us as much as what we know that is not true.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Motivation-- The Key Is In Your Actions

Have you ever read something like this as a "way... Read More

Seven Habits Of Ineffective People

For maximum effectiveness in life, love or business, it helps... Read More

The Story Of A King And Three Maidens ? Six Keys To A Successful Relationship

A King was trying to choose between three maidens to... Read More

If Not Now, When?

How many times have you made excuses for putting off... Read More

Get Up and Do!

The motivation to change my oil came the other day... Read More

Struggling With Juggling

'The trick to juggling is determining which balls are made... Read More

Grit or Grace?

The grit of life is hard to swallow. You make... Read More

Gremlins! Time to Take Control

It is a wonder we can function at all. Each... Read More

ACTION is More Important than Knowledge!

It was Albert Einstein who stated that 'imagination is more... Read More

Walking a New Road

(excerpted from the Take Charge of Your Life 6 CD... Read More

A Tribute to Edna

To the world you might be one person, but to... Read More

Break And Move Beyond The Length Of The Chains

"Never let fear, procrastination or the longing for approval from... Read More

Free Will To The Rescue

Today's society and your private world are the results of... Read More

I Should Be Doing... But...?

What a perfect fall Saturday morning, clear sunny blue sky,... Read More

Happy New Year

H appiness depends upon your outlook on life.A ttitude is... Read More

Its Not Enough

Whatever you are doing in your life at the present... Read More

Questions for the Game of Life

"If you could eliminate one day from your past so... Read More

5 Ways to Fight Pessimism

Some people are naturally pessimistic and are happy... Read More

10 Things To Do This Summer

Looking for a summer project? How about working on who... Read More

Making Things Happen

We are all given the tools, but it is up... Read More

If You Can Dream It, You Can Do It!

"I have heard it said that the first ingredient of... Read More

Change Your Life For The Better!

Are you still hoping and waiting for someone somewhere to... Read More

4 Powerful Ways To Fire Up Your Motivation

It's so difficult to go on when everything seems to... Read More

Motivation: The Power of Action, Part 2

The Three D's of Action are Decide, Do and Distinguish.... Read More

Whatever Happened to You?

Whatever happened to all the dreams? The wants, the desires,... Read More

Its Not Your Fault

Have you ever wondered what's really holding you back from... Read More

Seven Aspects of Making Brilliant Decisions: The Relationship Between Work and Self

Workweek: an opportunity for discovering and shaping; the place where... Read More

Every Passing Minute Is A Chance To Turn It All Around

Every passing minute.When I first heard this line, in the... Read More

Practical Ways To Motivate Yourself To Learn A Skill

One way to motivate yourself to work hard at anything... Read More

After the Storm......

Have you ever wondered why is it that after we... Read More

A Burning Desire

"Mommy, he's doing it again." I yelled as I came... Read More

Stretch!

"Only as high as I reach can I grow, Only... Read More

A Special Q & A - All About Passionately Soaring in Life

1. How do I discover my passion?This is one of... Read More