Motivation: Tearing Down Your Own Limitations

Q.: I've always been sort of cynical about all this motivational stuff. Lots of rah-rah but no how-to. Now I see all these commercials that talk about no limits, no boundaries, etc. But there are real limits, and I think this stuff misleads a lot of people. What do you think?

A.: You are absolutely right on at least two counts.

Most of the motivational stuff out there is too much rah-rah and not enough what-to-do.

You are also correct in saying there are limits in our lives. Gravity is one. You can ignore it, not believe in it, or act like it does not apply to you, and gravity won't care at all. There are limits. I'm not going to lose 20 pounds in a day, barring amputation.

Where you are stuck is in the difference between limits and limitations. A limit is a physical restriction, an unchangeable part of life. A limitation is a psychological restriction, a changeable part of life.

We get stuck when we believe that our changeable limitations are unchangeable limits.

Here's an example:

An elephant is a large and powerful animal. But a baby elephant can be tethered around an ankle with the tether firmly staked into the ground. Over time, it learns that the tether will hold it and behaves accordingly. A mature elephant could easily break the tether or pull up the stake, but it believes in the limitation that it cannot.

For the most part, people are smarter than elephants. Unlike elephants, we can get past most of the limitations in our lives. Here's how:

A limitation is nothing more than a firm belief regarding something about yourself. For our purposes here, a belief is merely a feeling of certainty about something.

Think of a limitation as a tabletop, and the beliefs that support the limitation as the legs that hold up the table. If you knock the legs out from under a table, it will fall. In the same way, if we knock the beliefs out from under the limitation, the limitation will fall, too.

Let's say you believe that you could never go to a fitness center because you would be too embarrassed. The beliefs that support your limitation are:

(1) You are too out of shape and everyone else is in great shape;

(2) everyone else will look at you;

(3) your dad told you that you were not much of an athlete.

Let's tear down those beliefs:

(1) Thinking you have to be in shape before you go to the gym is sort of like saying you have to know how to drive before you get behind the wheel of a car. You learn by getting behind the wheel with someone more experienced than you. Gyms are for people who are out of shape.

(2) Most people are too busy looking at themselves in the mirror to pay much attention to you.

(3) Your dad was wrong.

Once you tear down the lies of a limitation, you can put up some truth in their place. The truth is that fitness centers were made for people like you, and all you have to do is walk in and join.

I challenge you to take a hard look at some of the limitations in your life, knock out the false beliefs, tear down the lies and put up some truths. After all, it's not what we don't know that hurts us as much as what we know that is not true.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Five Mores to Enhance Your Performance

When you think about the most successful, happy, fulfilled people... Read More

5 Great Ways To Overcome Procrastination At Home

If you procrastinate at home you may suffer some consequences... Read More

212 Degrees

At 211 degrees, water is pretty darn hot.But at 212,... Read More

Quick Steps To Handle Setbacks

Looking for a way to handle a setback?Edward W. Smith,... Read More

Get Things Done: Take 21!

Ever begin doing something that you do for a few... Read More

Ill Put My Money On The Kid!

Now, the Fun Part. It is nigh time to find... Read More

Let It Fly Over Your Head

Sarah Watson is a young woman who contracted HIV eleven... Read More

Trust the ?System? ? It Works!

The "System" ? the overall structure and organization of this... Read More

Fear Emotions - Positive or Negative?

What is fear's purpose? How do you handle it? While... Read More

Step Out

Living your successful life requires you to step out. I... Read More

Testy Horses and the Art of Speed Waiting

"What are you waiting for?" said Nelson, looking at me... Read More

Motivation - The 4 Most Potent Ways To Awaken Your Enthusiasm

...it is in this whole process of meeting and solving... Read More

Forgotten Your New Years Resolutions Already? How To Get Back On Track

How quickly we forget. We are only a few weeks... Read More

What Does Your Future Hold? Do You Have A Plan? Or Are You Just Waiting To See What Happens?

We often find ourselves in a situation in which we... Read More

Habit Change--Six Steps to Success

As every New Year approaches, many of us are doing... Read More

Its Only Too Late If You Dont Start Living Now

Remember when summer seemed to last forever? My mother use... Read More

Employee Motivation Checklist - Ten Measures of Success

In the form of a simple easy to use checklist,... Read More

What Being Vs Doing Really Means

So often we hear about "being" rather than "doing." Often... Read More

Lego Laws for Life

Just about everybody owns or has owned a bucket of... Read More

Dismantle Self Imposed Limits

Round about us is an invisible box that we have... Read More

Avoid This Tendency And Youll Press Beyond Your Limits!

Inside of every one of us is the desire to... Read More

Just Do It!

If you run a business like I do, you probably... Read More

Anxiety & Panic ? Make Your Information Work for You

Whether you suffer from anxiety and panic attacks or not,... Read More

Are You Still Stuck on Still?

Are you still "stuck on still?" If so, don't let... Read More

Going The Extra Mile

There is one sure way to get what you want... Read More

3 Great Ways to Beat Procrastination at Work

As more tasks become automated due to advances in technology... Read More

7 Hot Tips For Self Improvement Part 2

Self Improvement Tip 4 Don't procrastinate! The more you put... Read More

Understanding What Motivates People to Take Action

So I wanted to buy a car. It was a... Read More

Are You Stuck?

You know the feeling.There's something you want to do. You've... Read More

The Untold Truth About Mentors, and Why You DONT Need One

I think there is a misconception about what a mentor... Read More

Get Started! Do Something!

This is about getting started. Taking that first step. It... Read More

10 Easy Ways To Stop Procrastinating

It is counterproductive to concentrate on so many tasks that... Read More

How to Use the Power of Words to Your Benefit

Someone I know maintains that "motivational words are great coming... Read More