Family Law

A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one of every two marriages ends in divorce and the average length of a marriage before divorce is only five years. Many couples today chose cohabitation over traditional marriage. What happened to the idealized family depicted in Father Knows Best, Leave it To Beaver, The Donna Reed Show and Ozzie and Harriet?

No simple answer exists to this question: our intimate relationships have been affected by the industrialization of society, urbanization, continued changes in the traditional roles of the sexes and greater economic independence for women, a rise in the percentage of the population pursuing a college education, a lessening of social pressure against couples who cohabit, the recognition of legal rights for llegitimate children, a decreasing birth rate, improved birth control methods and a longer life expectancy. All these factors contribute to our alarming divorce rate.

Is it any wonder the state ( literally, the state you live in and as, generically, any form of government) must pass laws that affect our personal relationships as we struggle for answers?

You can take opposing views of the laws in our country. One argument is that they protect society and its members, but the flip side contends they are a means of oppression. The laws that impact our intimate relationships are not necessarily harmful or intrusive in and of themselves. However, forming a relationship without a working knowledge of these laws and without considering all the ramifications can lead to situations where the end result is both.

The state's role in romantic relationships has often been justified by "public policy" interests. The term "public policy," though vague, is used to justify laws or actions that would injure the public welfare or be contrary to public decency, sound policy and good morals.

Understanding the necessity of laws that impact on our personal relationships starts with the recognition that our society is not the first to regulate love and the law. The efforts of governments throughout history to control the couplings of its citizens illustrates why and how our own laws were created and why and how, inevitably, they will adapt as society changes.

The one form of marriage permitted under our laws is the only option for couples who want a legal relationship. Happily, the single status is only a temporary situation for most Americans. Few will stop looking for love, trust, companionship and sexual and emotional fulfillment with another person. However, couples wanting to remarry, parents with ready-made families, couples over 65 looking for companionship without legal complications, all seek answers from the same legal relationship.

Although divorce laws have undergone radical changes in our lifetimes, the marriage laws have remained relatively static. Unfortunately, because couples considering marriage have many different needs, it is not uncommon for the laws that govern marriage to conflict with these needs. Too often, couples learn too late that financial penalties come attached to the marriage license. Marriage may be the only means of forming a legal and financial relationship under the law but, for many, legal marriage simply implies that they must suffer penalties to legalize their relationship.

As traditional marriage has proven less and less capable of living up to its potential in our society, alternatives such as unmarried cohabitation have arisen. The increase in couples who choose to cohabit can be traced to the fact that the marriage laws are not meeting the needs of these citizens in forming their personal relationships. Although there are a variety of reasons why couples choose to "just live together," financial disadvantages are a major factor.

If you are previously married and considering a remarriage, you know that the older bride or groom has different needs than the young couple entering a first marriage. The responsibilities and obligations from prior marriages, particularly when children are involved, cannot be ignored. Men and women over fifty who have minor children fight the same uphill battle as younger couples do in defining and fulfilling their obligations of visitation, custody, support, and inheritance. These problems create stress for the old family, as well as the new, upon remarriage.

Even without children, it is possible that obligations to former spouses can impact a new marriage. Older couples must consider the potential loss of private pensions, alimony, social security benefits or tax advantages because of a remarriage. Also important is the issue of inheritance of assets that may have taken a lifetime to accumulate. Older couples may want to limit their financial obligations to each other in the areas of support, medical costs, insurance, and pension benefits.

If you are a refugee from the marital wars, you learned the hard way about precautions that could have been taken the first time and should be taken the next. The happily married couple doesn't need to learn from experience; they, too, can benefit from the information in this book. If you are one of the lucky couples who has beat the odds and stayed married, we want to show you how to continue to protect and preserve your relationship...and your money. Check out loveandthelaw.com to discover what you need to know about your relationship.

About The Author

Ms. Duff has been featured on Today, Good Morning America, in The Wall Street Journal, Self, New Woman, Smart Money and Modern Maturity and has been a guest on hundreds of radio talk shows.

johnetteduff@aol.com

---

Doing Things Your Own Way

No one said that you had to follow the rule... Read More

Maid of Honor Duties

Being chosen as a maid of honor is a great... Read More

Love

According to the Encarta Dictionary, love is an intense feeling... Read More

Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage

Hearing that your cheating spouse is "in love" with someone... Read More

Minor But Important Duties For Your Wedding Party, Bridesmaids, and Groomsmen

Your wedding party is a major factor in the success... Read More

Wedding Favors, a Special Thank You for Your Guests

Wedding favors are as unique and varied as the couples... Read More

How To Keep Love Growing Through All The Ups And Downs

The relationship expert on i.village.com, I am the author of... Read More

Growing and Connecting with Your Spouse

Do you remember when there were no children in your... Read More

Business Partners & Marital Partners Will The Marriage Survive - Part I

With today's economy, and the layoffs occurring as a result... Read More

How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon

1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or... Read More

For Second Weddings Only - Eight Tips

Planning a second wedding? Prevent favorite guests comparing your second... Read More

Restore Your Marriage - 5 Ways to Feel Connected to Your Spouse Even on Opposite Schedules

We've all been through times in our lives when it... Read More

Bridal Shower Gift Ideas

You've been invited to the bridal shower ? what fun!... Read More

What Has Worked For Us (Brief Reflections On Enjoying 36 Years Of Marriage)

WHAT HAS WORKED FOR USBrief Reflections On Enjoying 36 Years... Read More

Diamond Hunting

Diamond hunting can be quite traumatic for the uninitiated. It... Read More

Traditional Bridal Shower Gifts

The tradition of hosting a bridal shower for the bride... Read More

Anniversary Gift Guide

An anniversary gift is the opportunity to show your loved... Read More

Toss a Garter or Two

The tempo of the music begins to rise. Drums begin... Read More

Should You Send Save the Date Notices To Your Guests?

You've probably heard about Save the Dates since they have... Read More

The (American) Bride Wore Red

Increasing numbers of American brides are thinking about doing the... Read More

Marriage Counseling: How to Get the Most Value for Your Time and Money

Marriage counseling is an investment of money, time, and energy... Read More

Marital Fulfillment: Tips for Intercultural Couples

Through my personal & professional coaching practice, marital issues often... Read More

Writing Wedding Vows ? Ideas That Will Help You Express What You Truly Feel

More and more, couples are choosing to write their own... Read More

Do-It-Yourself Wedding Invitation Guide

Think creatively and add a personal touch to your special... Read More

Wedding Jewelry Tips Tricks and Helpful Hints

So your not one of those fabulous actresses or models... Read More

Free Wedding Planning Guide and Checklist

With so much to do, every bride needs a surefire... Read More

Top 10 Wedding Decoration Budget Tips

When it comes to choosing your wedding decorations, you must... Read More

Is Your Marriage Sinking?

Reading this article does not necessarily mean that if you... Read More

A Promise Ring- More Than Just a Pre-Engagement Ring

When one thinks of a promise ring it is common... Read More

An Ethical Alternative to the Conspicuous Excess of the Average Wedding

Many happy couples are turning their backs on the traditional... Read More

Marriage Tips: Breathe Your Way to a Happier Marriage

One way to increase your chances of enjoying a happy... Read More

Dealing With Your Spouses Sexual Past

"Couples who've had sex before marriage will inevitably have sexual... Read More

Creating a Realistic Wedding Budget While Still Having the Wedding of Your Dreams

Perhaps the single most important thing that must be accomplished... Read More