More and more, couples are choosing to write their own wedding vows. Although many people believe that this is the best way to truly express their personal beliefs and feelings, often they are unsure about how to begin and what to include. If you would like to write your own wedding vows, here are some tips for writing vows that pledge the love you truly feel.
Inform your clergyman early
If the ceremony will be religious, let the clergyman know about your plans as soon as possible. If there are guide principles you will need to be aware of as you write your vows, the sooner you know what they are the better. This is also a good way to avoid possible conflicts between the beliefs of your house of worship and your own personal beliefs. If there is some disagreement between the two, you may need to adjust your plans or wording, or perhaps look for another clergyman.
Ask yourselves fundamental questions
Once you've taken that first step, begin by asking yourselves questions. These may include: "What does marriage mean to us? Why are we marrying? What promises are most meaningful, and which ones are essential that we keep?
You may want to ask what words like love, honor, respect, faithfulness, forgiveness, honesty, fidelity, friendship, and trust mean to each of you. This exercise will help you to clarify your thoughts as well as express your true feelings toward each other, your expectations for the future, and your personal visions of your lives together in the future.
Focus on what's unique
An essential element of personalizing your wedding vows is expressing what is unique about the other person. Think about how you see each other and write down as many of the reasons for loving each other as you can verbalize. If your backgrounds are different, acknowledge this and promise to respect and honor your differences as well as your commitment to building bridges that will strengthen common grounds. If this is not a first marriage for one or both of you, you may want to talk about your faith in love and the bond that marriage creates between two people.
Don't get too personal
Keep in mind that exchanging wedding vows is as serious as it is meaningful. Your goal should not be to make your vows sound cute or amusing. Also, avoid suggestive language or phrasing.
And don't confuse personal feelings with private affairs. Topics having to do with money, conception and child-rearing, politics, or in-laws should not be included in wedding vows to be overheard by your guests.
Incorporating traditional pledges
Although much of what you will write will be unique to your relationship and therefore highly personalized, you may want to include meaning parts from traditional vows that are a part of your culture.
While most of the wording is their own, many couples continue to incorporate the familiar love, comfort, honor (though usually leaving out the "obey" part) wording into their vows.
Rehearse before your wedding day
Since this is a special occasion, you should give it all of the time and attention it deserves. Practice reading aloud what the two of you have written. This is the true test that what appears on paper is what you really intended to say, in the way you intended to say it. Rehearsing will also allow you to determine how long exchanging your vows will take and whether adjustments are needed. If the wording sounds awkward or if it is difficult to read, change it.
Don't rely solely on your memory
A case of nerves can strike unexpectedly, and at the most inopportune time, so make sure your precious words are written down. Once you are satisfied that your wedding vows express exactly what you wanted to say to each other, it is time to finalize your draft. The final copy, preferably two or three, should be printed using a fairly large font size, which will make it easier to read.
It is a good idea to give a copy to the clergyman, at least several days before the ceremony is to take place. If a severe case of nerves does strike, it may be he who will need to read your vows.
Personalize the whole ceremony
Aim to keep the time it takes to exchange your vows between one and three minutes. To extend the feeling of a ceremony that is a celebration of your unique love, have a family member or good friend offer a carefully selected prayer or reading as part of the ceremony. You can also choose music that is both appropriate for the occasion and especially meaningful to the two of you.
About the Author
Jean Bachcroft is a former public relations director, the founder of Bachcroft and Aloha Labels, and the publisher and editor-in-chief of Town and Country Shopping Bargains Magazine. For designer wedding, holiday, and year-round mailing and return address labels, visit Bachcroft Mailing and Return Address Labels and Aloha Return Address Labels.
For bargains and bargain shopping articles, visit Town and Country Shopping Bargains.
A couple should trust each other in many ways. When... Read More
When people plan to marry, they expect to find in... Read More
Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower,... Read More
More and more, couples are choosing to write their own... Read More
Before George W Bush became a President, John Quincy Adams... Read More
At one time or another, most of us have had... Read More
While signing a prenuptial agreement can be one of the... Read More
Let's talk about writing love letters.Not candy coated pap. Not... Read More
In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced... Read More
Just because you don't have a lot of money doesn't... Read More
India is a diverse, multi-cultural country with people of various... Read More
Let's think about what goes into your wedding budget. Your... Read More
Many wives cheat on their husbands. This could be due... Read More
Las Vegas wedding receptions are where people tend to go... Read More
If you're getting married, a Bridal Show is a great... Read More
AttendantsAttendants, include the best man, Bridesmaid, ushers, and groomsmen. Generally... Read More
Of all the things you need to do, buy and... Read More
Choosing who should walk down the aisle with you is... Read More
Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn't happier? If... Read More
Hiring music entertainment can arguably be the most important booking... Read More
For a day you'll never forget on that special occasion,... Read More
Wedding planning is a difficult task for everyone. Unless you... Read More
The tradition of hosting a bridal shower for the bride... Read More
Celebrate your marriage by planning a Florida honeymoon vacation with... Read More
So you have been invited to a wedding. Whether you... Read More
How to get a spouse's attention so that he or... Read More
Proposing marriage to your beloved is a very big step.... Read More
Just as with your first marriage, your second marriage is... Read More
The typical wedding reception entertainment scheme of pretty flowers and... Read More
Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to... Read More
Save the Date Cards are announcements that inform your guests... Read More
Let's face it retirement is a time of great transition... Read More
There's no doubt about it, weddings can be expensive. The... Read More
"Is it better for a woman to marry a man... Read More
WHAT ARE THE TOP FIVE WEDDING FAVORS AND WHY?At most... Read More
When Alicia first met Tim, she found him outgoing, charming,... Read More
Celebrate your marriage by planning a Florida honeymoon vacation with... Read More
You've had friends to your home for dinner. Maybe you've... Read More
If you are looking forward to a vacation of attractive... Read More
What about this business of food for lovers? Is it... Read More
Being apologetic doesn't come easily for me. Unfortunately, being inconsiderate... Read More
AttendantsAttendants, include the best man, Bridesmaid, ushers, and groomsmen. Generally... Read More
Before George W Bush became a President, John Quincy Adams... Read More
When planning your event you should go with the most... Read More
For some couples, jetting off to their dream location would... Read More
What best way can a bride think of rising to... Read More
Exactly what should your disc jockey be doing in the... Read More
You've gotten engaged and have set the wedding date and... Read More
White is traditionally a symbol of purity and as it... Read More
Each of the dozens of Maui honeymoon resorts can be... Read More
On Friday, 1st May 1835, Mr Charles Dickens, the creator... Read More
If you are at all familiar with Las Vegas, you... Read More
Too many wives with cheating husbands put up with their... Read More
Let's face it retirement is a time of great transition... Read More
The typical wedding reception entertainment scheme of pretty flowers and... Read More
Movies, sitcoms and soapies made in the United States could... Read More
The extravagance of weddings is a popular topic. We blame... Read More
The most important day of your life is drawing near... Read More
While through history brides have agonized over what to wear... Read More
Need a quick idea to dress up a mediocre wedding?... Read More
One of the most beautiful of the bride's adornments at... Read More
When it comes to consideration for the right wedding favor,... Read More
Not only do individuals who follow Time Magazine's "Eight Steps... Read More
"Til death do us part" is still the language used... Read More
Original gift ideas for your Bridesmaids and Bestman.What better way... Read More
'Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.' This is... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |