Two Leadership Traps: How To Avoid Them and How To Get Out Of Them (Part 2)

Here's how to get out of, or avoid, the "I need ... " trap. It simply involves changing what you think and what you say in very simple ways.

In my working with leaders worldwide for more than two decades, I've noticed a character trait that the most successful share: They focus consistently on understanding and supporting the people whom they lead.

For instance, you could say, "You need ..." which is a good way out. Or, you could say, "The team needs ... " which is a better way out.

Or, you could say, "Do you need? ..." Which is the best way out, especially with a question mark attached. A corollary to this question is, "What do you need from me to help you get the team to succeed?"

Asking a question rather than using a declarative is often more effective because it gets people reflecting upon their situation. After all, we can't motivate anyone to do anything. They have to motivate themselves. And they best motivate themselves when they reflect on their character and their situation.

A question can trigger such reflection and ultimately lead to their making the choice to be motivated to be your cause leader. You may not like the answer; but often their answer, no matter what it is, can better lead to more results being achieved than your declaration can.

Furthermore, asking questions like, "What do you need for the team to succeed? ..." works much better than saying "I need ... " because you are forging a "critical confluence" ? the confluence of your or your organization's needs with their needs.

You may think I'm putting too fine a point on these changes; and to a degree, you'd be right. Making simply one change may not be important; but when you multiple the changes many times during the day, day in and day out, month in and month out, their aggregate can add up to tremendous change indeed. In fact, it can add up to job and career transformation.

So, the next time you are tempted to say, "I need ... ", don't. Instead, say, "Do you need? ..." or "What do you need? ... " Over time, you'll forge great changes in how people relate to you and your leadership, changes that will lead to substantial increases in results.

However, watch out: In getting out of the "I need ..." trap, you may find yourself in another trap. Asking "What do you need? ..." might play right into their hands of people who don't' trust you or want to sabotage your leadership or use you to further their own ends. Such people want to lead you down their private rabbit hole. They want to get you exploring things that have nothing to do with your getting the results you need and everything to do with satisfying the needs of their ego or whatever agenda they have. "Don't you think you need? ... " could be their ticket to ride. Before you ask the question, be aware of the ride and how to get off.

THE SECOND TRAP. The "You do ... " trap. Most leaders miss a great opportunity that presents itself to them daily. Since leadership is all about having people take action that gets results, it's important to understand the kind of action people should take to get the best results. You can ensure it is the best kind of action by challenging people not simply to do a job but to take leadership of that job. After all, there's a big difference between people doing and leading; and when you are constantly saying, "You do ... " you are missing out on getting a lot more results.

Now that you know how to avoid two leadership traps, you'll find that your career will be boosted in many marvelous ways.

2005 © The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to: brent@actionleadership.com

The author of 23 books, Brent Filson's recent books are, THE LEADERSHIP TALK: THE GREATEST LEADERSHIP TOOL and 101 WAYS TO GIVE GREAT LEADERSHIP TALKS. He is founder and president of The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. ? and for more than 20 years has been helping leaders of top companies worldwide get audacious results. Sign up for his free leadership e-zine and get a free white paper: "49 Ways To Turn Action Into Results," at http://www.actionleadership.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Leader is Not a Title

There is a steady flow of information in the form... Read More

The Three Essential Attributes of a Leader: The Demonstrated Abilities

Leaders need to:1. Have a vision to which they are... Read More

Supervisor Training: Helpful Tips to Lead Your Pack

A new supervisor is hired to anchor a gardening project... Read More

In Leadership, Identifying Dreams That Lead To Great Results

History teaches that when people needed to do great things,... Read More

Choose Your Best Life: Where Are Your Choices Leading You?

According to the dictionary choice means "to select freely after... Read More

Getting Things Done, Without the Sweat!

How do you get your people on your side? And... Read More

3 Aspects of Developing Leadership Skills

Everyone knows that great leaders are made, not born. However... Read More

Ten Steps To Effective Leadership

Many people end up in a supervisory position or SOHO... Read More

Leadership In The Zone!

"You do not merely want to be considered just the... Read More

Leadership for the Successful Entrepreneur!

Why talk about leadership?"Leadership is important whether you a leader... Read More

Leadership Skill Training

Quality leadership is a positive asset that is needed in... Read More

Steps to Becoming a Good Leader

STEPS TO BECOMING A GOOD LEADER: 1. Develop a master... Read More

Mentor? Who Needs A Mentor?

Who needs a mentor. . .everyone who is truly serious... Read More

The Compassion Paradox

Effective leaders are comfortable with paradox. They can call on... Read More

Dont be Afraid to Lead!

In most aspects of human activity, the pendulum of fashion... Read More

Choose To Become An Encourager

"...I know that the only source of happiness is within... Read More

Trust - The Most Vital Component in Leadership

"Trust is the emotional glue that binds followers and... Read More

All You Really Want Is Feeling Good

If I asked you what your goal in life is,... Read More

Being an Extraordinary Leader Through Tough and Challenging Times

Tough and challenging times will surely come. That is a... Read More

The Essence of Leadership

What is more important, leadership or teamwork? Leadership or consensus... Read More

The Sink Or Swim Approach To Leadership

Looking around in most corporate environments today you'll find mission,... Read More

7 Core Elements Of Your Vivid Vision!

What you are about to read may be found in... Read More

Shades of Grey: Government, Religion, & People

Some think that everything is black and white. I'm beginning... Read More

Leadership Training: The Bit They Didn?t Tell You About Changing!

A willingness to change first is one of the major... Read More

Leadership: Seed or Fruit?

Purpose: Learn immediately if you are fostering leadership or ignoring... Read More

How to Become a Great Leader & Improve Your Leadership Skills

A great leader is able to inspire his/her workers to... Read More

Strengthening Leadership Development with Employees

Within every business lies a network of people who are... Read More

Coaching a Leader

One of my favorite memories growing up as a child... Read More

Leaders ARE; Are you?

Identity CrisisIt's not only the knowledge you carry around in... Read More

Having Fun In Leadership

"Don't measure your life by your goals, but rather by... Read More

How To Get To Know A Disabled Person

When you first meet someone who is blind, deaf, or... Read More

What Makes A Good Leader? Ask Uncle Sam

What do the major generals who are leading the war... Read More

Partnership: Choose It or Lose It

Charlotte decides to do good. Charlotte is a highly motivated... Read More