Choose To Become An Encourager

"...I know that the only source of happiness is within me, and I will begin to share it. Like a perfume, I know that I cannot pour it on others without getting a few drops on myself." - Og Mandino, "The Choice"

"You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time." - John Knox

The childhood chant "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is a lie.

Do you remember every time you fell from your bike as a child? How about every time you have hit your knee or elbow working around your house? Most people forget these incidents as soon as the physical pain subsides.

Do you remember some nickname that you hated as a child? Did your parents or teachers ever tell you something that made you feel inferior or weak? Do you remember any negative comments you have received on job performance reviews? If you are like most people, you remember these negative words long after the moment has passed.

Now consider the positive words you have received. Maybe, like me, they came from your family as a child. Maybe they came from a favorite teacher, coach, or mentor. Think for a moment about the impact these words have had on your life.

Positive or negative, words leave a mark. The mark is not on the surface where you can see it, but there is a mark.

Here's a story to illustrate my point. As a child, my parents and I lived in North Carolina. Both sets of my grandparents lived in Texas. We visited Texas about twice a year. During these visits, we often split our time between the two families. I loved both dearly, but I always wanted to spend more time with one than with the other. Both sets loved me. Both treated me well. Both would do nearly anything for me. But there was one big difference. One grandmother called me "precious, angel, baby child" and "my wonderful, precious angel". The other called me Guy. Which do you think was my favorite? You can probably guess where I wanted to spend my time.

I loved both of my grandmothers, but one became a greater influence on my life. Why? She constantly spoke words of encouragement to me and everyone else she met for that matter. In fact, she still does to this day. She always tells me how wonderful I am, how much she loves me, and how proud she is of me. As an adult, I still look forward to speaking with her.

When my grandfather passed away, I spoke at his funeral. I did the best I could to pay tribute to one of the greatest men I have ever personally known. About six months later, my grandmother called again to tell me how wonderful my comments were and how smart and wise I am. I don't really believe that I am the smartest person on the planet, but it sure feels good to have someone tell you that. After we spoke, I felt like a million bucks and believed that I could accomplish anything.

Would you like to have that influence on people? Would you like to inspire the people around you to work harder and accomplish more? You do hold that power. You have it when you use positive words ? words of encouragement and praise. As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be."

Next to example, words are probably the most powerful tools leaders use. Words communicate your hopes, your dreams, your vision, your message, and your heart. Words show other people how you see them. As a leader, your words make a difference. Your words will either build-up or tear down, encourage or discourage, inspire or deflate. The choice is up to you.

I encourage you to remember this simple tip and spread some perfume of happiness around as you . . . Choose to become an encourager.

Copyright 2005, Guy Harris

You may use this article for electronic distribution if you will include all contact information with live links back to the author. Notification of use is not required, but I would appreciate it. Please contact the author prior to use in printed media.

Guy Harris is the Chief Relationship Officer with Principle Driven Consulting. He helps entrepreneurs, business managers, and other organizational leaders build trust, reduce conflict, and improve team performance. Learn more at http://www.principledriven.com

Guy co-authored "The Behavior Bucks System TM" to help parents reduce stress and conflict. Learn more about this book at http://www.behaviorbucks.com

---

The Code of the Conference Leader

Are your meetings generally a waste of time? Do you... Read More

Get Angry And Then Get Results

Leadership is not about winning a popularity contest, it's about... Read More

Your Ultimate Leadership Feedback Loop: Their Leadership

Life on our planet flourishes through feedback. If life forms... Read More

The Top 10 Questions for Socially Responsible Leaders

The assets of your business traditionally include property, plant, equipment,... Read More

Are You A Leader in the Chrysalis?

Let's get this straight at the outset?Leadership skills can be... Read More

Leadership and The Dirty Work

The airline, Jet Blue, has been featured in many magazines... Read More

Building Teams and Teamwork

A tight knit team is a group of competent individuals... Read More

Building Self Confidence

As a hypnotherapist I specialise in helping people to develop... Read More

Leadership Lessons from Pope John Paul II

"Heroes are rebels with a cause. Rebels because they challenge... Read More

Exceptional Leadership Inspires the Best Effort in Others

There is a steady stream being written and taught about... Read More

Five Steps Towards Greater Self Confidence

We watch the star athlete calmly make the final shot,... Read More

C4 Leadership: Taking Your Leadership (and your Life) from Good...To Explosive!

Chances are if you're interested in this post, you're looking... Read More

Three Growth Guidelines from Stephen Covey

I have been looking for answers to what it takes... Read More

All You Really Want Is Feeling Good

If I asked you what your goal in life is,... Read More

Asking for Help

For many of us, asking for help is a difficult... Read More

Secrets of Creating Success with Ease

Do you ever strum your fingers on the desk top... Read More

7 AAA Ways To Succeed!

[Abounding Abundant Ample Ways To Boost Your Growth!] This may... Read More

Dream Bigger!

A number of years ago we created a graphic logo... Read More

The Defining Moment: The Straw That Stirs The Drink Of Motivational Leadership (Part Two)

In Part One, I described the importance of establishing deep,... Read More

Ask Yourself Whats In It For WE?

"Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working... Read More

Ten Ways Women Can Visualize Themselves As Leaders

Women should not be afraid of or feel guilty about... Read More

Leaders Click It? Into Gear!

"Click It" Into Gear!Ever wonder how two people can be... Read More

Father Knows Best

A good strong example of a family leader would be... Read More

Five Things Smart Leaders Do to Lower The Barriers To Change

Smart leaders understand that they don't "make" a change happen.... Read More

You Make The Difference

What do you think makes your company successful? Your newest... Read More

A Whack Up Long Side The Head Of Human Resources: The Leadership Imperative

When we perceive the simple center in the seemingly complex,... Read More

The Compassion Paradox

Effective leaders are comfortable with paradox. They can call on... Read More

Give Your Valentine A Very Special Gift - Empowerment

Delegating is a commonly misunderstood concept. Delegating is not about... Read More

Make the Most of Your Mentoring Relationships

Mentoring is one of the best ways to learn, to... Read More

The Happy Jar

I just delivered a free speech. I am a great... Read More

Birth Order - Understand How It Affects Your Personality

"Know thyself" is a powerful principle that leaders, managers and... Read More

Leadership: Seed or Fruit?

Purpose: Learn immediately if you are fostering leadership or ignoring... Read More

3 Elements of Leadership Power!

In an article discussing the need for innovative products and... Read More