Sometimes life experiences can be like a lemon-flavored Tootsie Roll Pop. Hard and sour on the outside. Soft and sweet on the inside. Take getting dumped in a relationship for instance. Facing life alone can be tough for many people. Yet, there are behind-the-scenes benefits to every predicament! There's even a sweet treat hidden within the experience of losing a lover.
You can find the "pop"-the sweetness-inside your tart tootsie roll by looking behind the surface appearance of your situation. Ask yourself some probing questions: "What's been the beneficial effect of my predicament?" "What did I learn that helped me become a better person?" and "What good eventually came out of the situation?"
By focusing on how the experience served you, you can discover how the loss of a relationship can restore your trust in life. Or how losing your job or health can propel you closer to your dreams!
Let's check out some real-life lemons. Here are some examples of the unseen rewards of losing your relationship, job and health. And how the sour aftertaste can become sweet!
Benefits of Being Dumped
I was secure in my second marriage. Then, after 15 years, my husband suddenly abandoned me to marry an older woman. You heard right-an older woman! Go figure!
For years following the divorce, my feelings of hurt and anger were compounded by a sense of failure and humiliation. A decade later, I still feel the sting of betrayal. But now I'm armed with the outlook that every experience serves me. "So," I ponder, "what could possibly be the hidden value of getting dumped?"
While searching for the benefits, I unearth my involvement in the betrayal. The more honest I am, the more I uncover the truth: I'm the cause of my husband leaving me!
I Knew at the Altar!
I realize now that the betrayal began at the church altar. As my fiancée slipped the ring on my finger, I knew that we weren't meant to be married to each other. I betrayed my own intuition by agreeing to be his wife. The undeniable fact is that I'm the one who abandoned me, not my spouse.
Why didn't I listen to my inner knowing? I realize now that I was afraid to be alone. To avoid loneliness, I jumped into matrimony.
These startling realizations release emotions that have haunted me for years. As more liberating insights pour in, the sour feelings begin to lift. I actually start to appreciate my ex-husband! He had the courage to tell himself and me the straight dope-that our relationship was dead.
Long-term Rewards
Having these fresh insights gives me renewed strength and curiosity to keep asking questions. What could possibly be the long-term benefits of being forced to live on my own? How has it served me to have to take care of myself? What good has come from this experience?
Slowly I begin to spot my good fortune of being left in the lurch:
When you live alone, you stop being controlled by another person's actions and reclaim the freedom to pursue your personal passions. You create a more personally meaningful lifestyle. And being alone, you're much more available to people and activities that support you in creating your unique dreams.
Benefits of Losing Your Job
"We won't be needing your services any longer." When I heard these words come out of my employer's mouth, I was floored. But I shouldn't have been.
Out of desperation, I'd taken employment to pay my bills. Then every day for months, I silently complained to myself about the work I was doing. I constantly struggled to make myself fit into an occupation that didn't suit me.
The value of losing the job was actually very obvious.
When you look under the surface appearance of being let go, you may find, in actuality, that you gave yourself "the boot." On a deeper level of awareness, you wanted out of the job. With the aid of hindsight, you see that you unconsciously managed to get yourself fired because it was time for you to move on to the next stage of your self-expression.
Benefits of Losing Your Health
The excruciating sciatica pain running through my leg and back was forcing me to lie motionless in bed for days. Suspecting that being laid up is serving me in some way, I look for the value in being sick. I discover that the affliction is a "wake up!" call. The pain is alerting me to the fact that I'm not supporting and nurturing myself by the way I'm living my life.
I realize that:
The value of the sciatica was that it gave me the opportunity to check in with my spirit to see where I was off track in my life. When I got my life back on course, I re-established my health and vitality.
Losing your health forces you to take a long, deep look at your life. Being ill immobilizes you to some degree, which gives you time to review the people and activities you're involved with. The message of sickness is almost always that you're engaged with people and activities that aren't intuitively right for you. Life pursuits that are out of harmony with your true interests and values pull your body out of balance. Eventually, the imbalance makes you ill. You'll find that when you take action to bring yourself back into alignment with your spirit, your health improves.
Where's Your "Pop"?
Wouldn't you like to transform hurt into gain? You can! A sweet core lies under the surface appearance of any sour experience. By realizing the benefits of any situation, you can find the "pop" inside your lemon tootsie roll.
About The Author
As a personal life coach and vision quest guide, Sulana Stone assists people to discover and express their life purpose through private sessions and workshops. Find out how to get more love in life, a more fulfilling job, or find a purpose beyond the mundane with a FREE Prosperity Ezine and FREE Empowerment Tape at www.SedonaVisionQuest.com. Contact her at sulanastone@yahoo.com or 602.861.2631 for free coaching.
Women are conditioned to be people pleasers. Women are taught... Read More
When you're in love your eyes and your face light... Read More
Where does happiness fit on a scale of 1 to... Read More
Gail was a quiet, shy, young lady. She has been... Read More
Passion Love Action You! Playing with your own divinity, spirit,... Read More
Our use of body posture plays a key role in... Read More
Over the course of my life's journey I have come... Read More
We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend... Read More
Worthiness-word origin. Worth and worship both come from Old English... Read More
Well, doesn't that depend on what's causing you to be... Read More
A woman we'll call "Jane" thought she was a great... Read More
My grandmother, Mimi, was a great solitaire player. My family... Read More
So you're stuck in a rut, bored with how your... Read More
This is one of my all time favourite problem solving... Read More
Anger can make us feel good and enlivened for a... Read More
1. roll around in the grass, and don't brush the... Read More
1. DRUNK!At the age of sixteen I was invited out... Read More
Sometimes we are so occupied with our daily routine in... Read More
Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have... Read More
Many people exercise, play sports, or know someone who does.... Read More
If one thing is for certain, each of us will... Read More
It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day... Read More
I have never lived anywhere else where when you walk... Read More
Does the expression "single and happy" sound like an oxymoron... Read More
A pervasive sense of low self-esteem, a feeling of unworthiness,... Read More
When I left England in 2000 there did not seem... Read More
Six months ago you had trouble finding your keys and... Read More
Every disease or ailment, whether it be cancer, diabetes, arthritis,... Read More
Gratefulness brings a great fullness to life. The choice to... Read More
As a coach, I often ask myself the question why... Read More
The world is becoming obsessed with money and all things... Read More
Everyone is in the process of seeking greater happiness. We... Read More
For the longest time I was convinced that I was... Read More
My life always appears to be so hectic. It's as... Read More
Although many for us strive for happiness in our daily... Read More
Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time... Read More
I love this quote by Zig Ziglar, and think it's... Read More
Imagine humungous, bulbous, billowing alto-cumulus clouds building higher and higher... Read More
You can be as happy as you want whenever you... Read More
What do you think about happiness? A philosophical approach to... Read More
Imagine for a moment you have been given a task.... Read More
Smile... You'll make your brain wonder what your face is... Read More
Just when you think you know it all, some 17-month... Read More
Groundedness is one of the most important components of a... Read More
One of my favorite songs is Bobby McFerrin's refrain, "Don't... Read More
The freeway was relatively clear. It was early in the... Read More
Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have... Read More
Flowers are a simple, sincere and unobtrusive way to lift... Read More
To maintain an unchangeable sweetness of disposition, to think only... Read More
Have you ever been really happy? Have you ever tasted... Read More
The older I get, the more I realize that ninety... Read More
According to U.S. research, you can add seven and a... Read More
Looking for a way to stay positive in a negative... Read More
The most important achievements you can ever have in this... Read More
You have a purpose in life. You have a unique... Read More
1. roll around in the grass, and don't brush the... Read More
This question and answer article was done by Gizelle River,... Read More
Do you want to put a smile on someone's face?... Read More
The Law of Attraction exists in your life right now;... Read More
The demands of being a good person can sometimes mean... Read More
Don't Let Life Happen To You ... Read More
The title I chose for this article makes me smile.... Read More
Taking a Magickal Bath doesn't have to be complicated. It... Read More
Our feelings and attitudes have a huge impact on our... Read More
A woman we'll call "Jane" thought she was a great... Read More
Happiness is a state of mind, so your state of... Read More
Finding Happiness |