Sometime last summer I decided to host a pity party and invite all my friends. Well, not all my friends, exactly. Only those whose livelihoods might have, like mine, been suffering from the downward slide of the economy. To make the guest list, invitees would have to possess the ability to grumble, gripe, groan, fuss, snarl, scream, fret, rant and complain -- preferably all at the same time. I wanted world-class whiners at my party. Optimists need not apply.
The idea for the party came about following several back-to-back conversations with different editors, all of whom relayed to me different versions of the same scenario: advertising sales are down, there are fewer magazines pages to fill, so we don't have as many assignments for contract writers like you. Almost overnight, or so it seemed, the regular work I'd come to count on disappeared. "Sorry," my editors said. "But do keep in touch."
But I didn't. And instead of bucking up and marketing myself to new clients, instead of choosing to view this "challenge" as an "opportunity" like I'd been taught in so many motivational seminars, I chose to complain. Loudly. With great chest-heaving drama. Picture Joan Crawford, wrist to forehead, lying in a bed strewn with movie magazines and you have some idea of my approach. Why tire myself getting new business, I argued, when sympathy was so much easier to elicit?
The beauty of my pity party was that it was not time- or location-dependent. Instead it was an ad hoc celebration that occurred on the phone and over dinner, and lasted from mid-summer until well into October. The lengthy guest list included such luminaries as other freelance "worst-market-in-15 years" writers; graphic "clients-just-aren't-spending-money" designers; and software "we're-wondering-how-to-make-it-through-December" executives. These people made the cut because I knew they'd confirm my belief that the economy was in the toilet and there was no work to be found. Anyone whose work might be humming along as usual or, worse yet, improving -- this includes criminal lawyers and unemployment counselors -- were conveniently left off the invitation list.
Whenever I met a fellow partygoer I'd ask, perhaps a bit too eagerly: "So how bad is it? Any bill collectors yet? Tell me again about losing that contract and this time don't leave anything out."
It was such a bad case of selective perception that I interpreted everything around me as proof that work was not available. I'd spot smiling families playing in the park and assume the parents must've lost their jobs. I'd see people laughing at restaurants and assume they were drunk, probably as a way of masking their deep internal misery.
I was so convinced I'd never be hired for another writing assignment that I stopped even trying to find work. I didn't call any of my corporate clients. I didn't pitch new story ideas to editors. Instead, I stayed home, played computer solitaire and wished I'd saved more money.
Then, I met with my personal coach, a wise and wonderful woman whom I pay to keep me on track in life.
"Shari," she said gently. "All of us create our own realities. Your situation seems hopeless because that's how you've decided it should be. How would you act if you knew the economy was good and work was available?"
"Ummm," I said. "I guess I'd line up some story ideas?" I answered her tentatively, as if asking a question.
"Good," she said. "Then what would you do?"
"Ummm, I guess I'd call some editors?"
Then, doing her best not to sound like my mother, she asked me: "Have you called any editors lately?"
I got the picture.
I spent the following Sunday researching potential story ideas and preparing letters for my magazine clients. I sent the letters out via e-mail and within 24 jaw-dropping hours I had three new assignments. A week later, a fourth came in, and two weeks after that, an associate of mine called about some international speaking opportunities.
When I first started in business for myself, an experienced entrepreneur told me that even during down times I should always project a positive, successful image. So what if clients hadn't paid me in months or that I hadn't changed out of my terrycloth robe in days? Every inquiry about my business should be met with the same response: "It's terrific! Never been better!"
I subscribed to this fake-it-till-you-make-it philosophy for a long time and you know what? It works. But apparently, last summer, after years of round-the-clock, worry-free assignments, I had forgotten that success, confidence and happiness are often a matter of where you place your attention. When I finally got out of bed, picked up the movie magazines and began to act like a successful professional, the work appeared with stunning rapidity.
My pity party is now over, thankfully, and friends who grew tired of my bleak line of questioning are no longer darting down the baby aisle in supermarkets in order to avoid me. My professional confidence index is up and I'm now looking for optimists to celebrate with me. Whiners need not apply.
Copyright, 2005, Shari Caudron.
Shari Caudron is an award-winning columnist, writing coach, and author of "What Really Happened," (2005, Ghost Road Press), a collection of humorous stories about the lessons life teaches you when you least expect it. Shari regularly delivers speeches to women's groups about how to transform ordinary experiences into opportunities for personal growth. Website: http://www.sharicaudron.com e-mail: shari@sharicaudron.com
Q. I'm about to graduate High School and I don't... Read More
You can benefit from sample cover letters as they can... Read More
Finding a legit telecommute job can be difficult. Telecommute jobs... Read More
When preparing for an interview, you need to know your... Read More
Most people would agree that the concept of a job... Read More
After completing their translation training programmes at higher professional education... Read More
1. Begin focusing on what you want instead of how... Read More
Are free resume templates a viable answer to preparing a... Read More
This is a question we get a lot. It seems... Read More
You're pretty comfortable using the phone. It's something you do... Read More
There are many reasons why you could be in the... Read More
Writing performance reviews can be an excellent way to earn... Read More
Richard Bolles, job search guru and author of What Color... Read More
More and more people are calling it quits to successful... Read More
If you are thinking about a career in culinary arts... Read More
Happy New Year! The forecasts are in agreement: Hiring is... Read More
Steve's a pretty regular guy ? wife, 4 kids in... Read More
"You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back... Read More
The temptation to lie on a resume is great! How... Read More
While you're revamping your resume or cover letter or constructing... Read More
In the limited time an interviewer has with you, their... Read More
Human Resources personnel, professional recruiters and various other career experts... Read More
Looking for work is a roller-coaster ride: high with elation... Read More
"Who is that hot babe in the picture?" isn't the... Read More
A raise in your base salary is a permanent source... Read More
More companies are saving time and effort by doing initial... Read More
Employment finally seemed back on track during the first few... Read More
You don't have to look very far to find fascinating... Read More
May I clarify in this article what I believe to... Read More
If you're looking into making the petite modeling industry your... Read More
Tying a tie properly may tie you to your next... Read More
Want to get hired faster than up to 97% of... Read More
There are numerous tools and resources available to guide job... Read More
Millions of Un-Sung Heroes are born every minute! They are... Read More
If you are concerned that your company might be planning... Read More
Despite what your grandmother told you, life is not supposed... Read More
You are looking for a job and you are out... Read More
Marketing-with-Intent precisely drives you to your target and with greater... Read More
If you're reading this article, I'm sure I don't have... Read More
Job security is an out dated concept. The idea is... Read More
Outsourcing has moved upward in the most-improved columns of efficiency... Read More
I received the following questions from a visitor to my... Read More
In light of recent unemployment figures, and a continual downturn... Read More
TIP: Update your resume often. Be sure to add details... Read More
Many job seekers tend to overlook job fairs. They can... Read More
Think you have the speed, endurance, and know-how to fix... Read More
If you have ever experienced any of the following, you... Read More
Searching for employment is one of the most nerve-racking activities... Read More
There is one little practice that is vital to generating... Read More
Many young adults flock to bars, lounges and clubs on... Read More
An interesting combination of factors at this time in history... Read More
We've all heard it before: "Just get out there and... Read More
My first job was secretary to Moses. Having to transcribe... Read More
Q. I hate my job as a computer consultant. I... Read More
According to a recent survey, 52% of job candidates polled... Read More
"Your first job is an extension of your education"Fresh out... Read More
When you want something, the best way to get it... Read More
Employment finally seemed back on track during the first few... Read More
When the word "networking" is used, we tend to think... Read More
I referenced the circus because I just finished another interviewing... Read More
You're still reading?so I know my title grabbed your attention.Why?... Read More
What is a Career Portfolio?The original portfolio used by artists... Read More
Most job seekers know that an unprofessional appearance will count... Read More
Non-verbal interview behavior can drown out your verbal self-presentation.Practice interviewing... Read More
Not everyone is cut out to be a mortgage processor.... Read More
I will not pretend that this is the easiest topic... Read More
Careers, Jobs & Employment |