Get Rich Writing Fiction

Some of us write simply because we can't not write. Ideas grab us, move us, and demand to be written. We strive to make it as real as we possibly can, to improve at our craft every day, hopefully to make it into the realm of literature as well as entertainment. We want to craft an entire world where the places and people are so real that the reader doesn't feel like he's reading a book as much as he is going to another place. In the lofty world of literature that we strive for, the reader will still think about the book after reading that last page. It's our gift to the reader, something to take with him. Given sufficient skill, this can even happen long after we are dead.

Then we learn that doesn't sell. Oh, there are exceptions. Some novelists make a living by consistently writing quality literature. But, there are quite a few best sellers who have no such goals. They write for money, and they make it.

Even the writer who has written great literature has trouble marketing it that way. We have to look at our "target audience." Who will buy this book? Let me see, our heroine survived spousal abuse, so there's an audience. There's a suicide, so we can get the bereavement crowd. Where's the setting? We can get a local audience. The hero's a cop. Maybe the teen boys will go for that. Nah, too light on action. But there's a romance. Maybe we'll market to the romance readers. Give the hero bedroom eyes and pass him off as a romantic hero. Yeah, that might work.

But if you want to write to get rich, even that's not enough. Nah, the time to think about your reader is before you write the book, not after.

Throw in lots of gratuitous sex, preferably extramarital. One (and only one) character who flirts and is sorely tempted and walks away from "love" to remain true to his wife.

Use taboo words for shock value. Ram, hump, scream, oral sex, voluptuous, female orgasm (the great revelation). Make sure a lot of your leads enjoy sex. Horny women are a good way to pull in the readers you want. We all know men are horny, but most of your readers haven't discovered that some women enjoy sex too. Tell them this. Give the female readers a balm for their consciences and the male readers someone to dream about.

Your heroine should be tough, sweet, sensitive, and very horny, and has to think she's not attractive even though every guy in the book except her husband falls off his chair with a tent in his pants.

Don't let the length of a novel faze you. Just throw some people on the stage, move them around a bit, and get them into bed. Then, change the rules so they have to move around a bit again and get them back into bed. (It doesn't always have to be a bed. Office desks and car seats work too.) When the book's long enough, stop. Don't worry about the "climax," because people are climaxing all over the place.

Exotic locales. Foreign countries with beaches. Lots of rich people. Remember that you're writing for the lowest common denominator, because they spend most of the money that you're trying to reel in. Make it sleazy. No one ever went broke underestimating the public.

How to publish? To do it right, write the sales pitch before you write the book. Make sure the book follows the pitch and the formula. If your cover letter alone has eight typos, no problem. Nobody cares. The publisher will wanna rush this baby to print and get you, or an attractive stand-in, doing as many TV appearances as possible before the book reviewers have time to draw breath. Heck, your target market doesn't read book reviews anyway! Also keep in mind that once that reader buys your book, you've won. They won't get a refund just because you're illiterate. So don't worry about hiring an editor. Hire a publicist!

Think Hollywood. You want your book to become a movie. It doesn't have to be a good movie, because most of them aren't. It just has to sell, baby, sell! Write parts for all the hottest stars. True, today's hottest stars will have faded by the time they start filming your movie, but no matter. Someone just like them will replace them.

I've been doing it wrong for all these years. I started writing over 20 years ago, and the five books I have on the shelves are enough to make it a hobby that barely pays for itself. Meanwhile, I work at a job for my money. But if you follow my advice, you won't make the same mistakes I have. You'll get rich!

Copyright 2005, Michael LaRocca

Michael LaRocca's website at http://www.chinarice.org was chosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The 101 Best Websites For Writers in 2001 and 2002. His response was to throw it out and start over again because he's insane. He teaches English at a university in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province, China, and publishes the free weekly newsletter WHO MOVED MY RICE?

---

How to Get Your Book Reviewed

Imagine your book at the top of the Best Sellers... Read More

Book Marketing 101- Book Publicity for Authors -- Creating a Book Publicity Campaign

Publicity is that elusive thing that can make or break... Read More

Publicity Through Philanthropy For Writers

I am twenty three years old, have sold over four... Read More

Extend Your Books Life With a Sales Letter

Authors, publishers and business owners are great at getting their... Read More

Plays Well With Others to Become an Instant Author

You wrote a tips booklet. Maybe more than one. Oh... Read More

Ready, Set, Go Sell Your Book In The Real World!

We hear a lot these days about more books actually... Read More

How to Schedule a Book Signing

How would you like to sell more copies of your... Read More

Marketing Your Book on Radio

Have you listened to radio lately? If you have, chances... Read More

What Service Do You Need to Make your Book Sell?

Whether you are just starting or almost finished with your... Read More

Why Should I Buy your Book?

How would you like to have countless people clamoring for... Read More

Sell More Books on Amazon.com

Why Should Your Book Be on Amazon.com? Credibility. If your... Read More

Top Ten Getting Started Tips to Market Your Book and Business

Want to sell a lot more books? Want clients calling... Read More

Why Write Articles to Promote your Book?

Reach 15,000 to 100,000 targeted buyers every week Online. That's... Read More

Promotion - Credibility Extras

For many of us, marketing our titles is one of... Read More

Your Book Marketing Plan - Winning Strategies and Tips

Many authors hit a roadblock when it comes to putting... Read More

Writers: The Truth About Advertising, Publicity, and PR

Many of us are trying to do business and don't... Read More

How to Create an Amazing Author Website

Without a website, an author is unknown. Without a website,... Read More

Book Signings Are Pure Gold

So you've written a book, had it published by a... Read More

Online Book Promotion Beats Traditional Seven to One - Part 1

While traditional marketing can work for the book author or... Read More

Sell Your Book At Book Fairs, Festivals & Trade Shows

Play a bigger game with your book sales by expanding... Read More

Why Testimonials are Number One in Selling your Book or Service

Even if your book or service is excellent, they won't... Read More

Sell More Books With an E-mail Newsletter

NOTE: Because many words in this article are likely to... Read More

Interview with Book and Marketing Coach-Judy Cullins - Part 1

To know what to do at the right time in... Read More

Book Club Sales -- Increasing the Odds

What is a book club sale? It is actually a... Read More

19 Ways to Secure Non-Returnable Book Sales and Sell More Books

Surprisingly, book stores are not always your greatest source of... Read More

The High Cost of a Six-Figure Book Advance

The six-figure book advance, like the New York Times bestseller,... Read More

Never Pay Full Price for a Book!

Are you an avid reader? Are you trying to instill... Read More

Sell Your Book with Pennies

Imagine you share a huge penny... Read More

Top 10 Ways to Know your Book Concept will Sell--Before you Invest Time and Money

Make your book stand out from the crowd! Test your... Read More

Why Would I Buy Your Book? Six Steps to Your Tell and Sell - Part 2

How would you like to have countless people clamoring for... Read More

Oh No! A Bad Book Review! Have No Fear...Advice For Dealing With The Blues Of A Bad Book Review

You've just been notified a review of your book has... Read More

How to Send Press Releases to Newspapers About Your New Book

There are over ten thousand daily, weekly and monthly newspapers... Read More

Poetry Chapbooks: Ten Tips for Promotion

There are several ways of publishing your chapbook. You can... Read More