Taking Responsibility for Yourself

This week I happened to catch a few minutes of a popular talk show on television, and the topic was confessions. A young man was confessing to his girlfriend of 5 years that he had cheated on her with her best friend. Not too unusual these days I guess. But what he said next floored me. "It was an accident. One thing led to another and before I knew it, we were having sex."

I beg your pardon? How do you accidentally have sex with someone? Call the Surgeon General, we may have an epidemic on our hands. People are losing control of their own minds and bodies and randomly having sex!

Sadly, this type of thinking is all too common in our society, and not just in relationships either. We don't want to take the blame for anything, or be responsible for anything. We blame the weather, our friends, our bosses, the government and anything else that happens to be convenient.

Let's face it, no one likes to be wrong, or admit that we screwed up. Our society is obsessed with perfection. Just look at the ads on television and in magazines. All you see are perfect, airbrushed, white-toothed, smiling models. In this day and age, image is everything. (I personally don't think so, but that seems to be the popular trend.) You will be admired if you drive the right car, wear the right clothes and project the right "look." If you've done something wrong or made a mistake, you'd better sweep it under the carpet quickly so no one finds out. If others find out you're not perfect, you will no longer be put up on that pedestal.

I realize I'm dramatizing a wee bit, but I see it all the time and I'm sure you do too. So what's the big deal? Who cares if we don't accept responsibility for our own actions? Who are we really hurting? Ourselves.

Just because no one knows about our dirty little secrets, doesn't mean they don't exist. Continuing to conceal them and put on a mask of perfection eats away at our souls, little by little. As we pretend to be more and more perfect, we keep adding more pressure on ourselves. The more perfect we pretend to be, the harder we will have to work to keep up that charade. While we may look perfect on the outside, inside we know we're frauds and we have to do whatever it takes to keep people from finding out. Talk about anxiety!

In addition, how can we take credit for the good things we do when we won't acknowledge the bad? If we feel like a phony, our accomplishments will be tarnished by those feelings. They won't shine as brightly as they would if we could be truly proud of ourselves.

That doesn't mean we have to shout our mistakes from the rooftops either. But if we've done something wrong or hurt someone we care about, it's our responsibility to try to set it right. That might mean apologizing, or doing what we can to fix the damage we've done. But at the very least we should acknowledge our mistakes to ourselves, and vow to try harder next time. Sometimes when we mess up it's not ALL our fault. There may have been reasons why we acted like we did. Maybe our hearts were in the right place, but we didn't consider the possible consequences. We made a decision that caused a negative outcome. We have to acknowledge and accept that, not deny it.

It's been said that "character is what you do when you think no one is watching." I love that! What a powerful truth it is. It's wonderful that our character is 100% within our control. We choose who we want to be. We can consider our options and make a conscious decision on what actions we take. We can choose to be a great person, or a fraud. The important thing to remember is that these ARE choices we are making. It's no one's fault but our own.

How funny that we try to shun responsibility because we think it will make us look more perfect, when in fact the truth is, being accountable for ourselves can only build our character, not detract from it.

Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.

---

How To Talk Your Way To Success

Smart folk have always realised how vital it is to... Read More

Thinking Like A Winner

Since the beginning of human history we have been living... Read More

Positive Self-Talk

One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and... Read More

Anamchara - Beyond Positive Thinking

One of the most well known books ever written on... Read More

Why We Shouldnt Worry

Almost everyone experiences some form of worry one time or... Read More

11 Great Ways to be Positive about Change

Look for the positives!Seek them out - those little scary... Read More

Find Your Inner Strength to Tackle Any Challenge

Everyone faces challenges during their life, from suffering the death... Read More

Possibilities

When you look at your future in terms of your... Read More

The 5 Words That Are Ruining Your Life

How would you like to stop feeling like your life... Read More

Positive Thought

The power of positive thoughts to affect one's experience of... Read More

Have a Present Moment!

It was the 10th day of rain, and I walked... Read More

Affirmations to Improve Your Life

An affirmation is a positive assertion, a solemn declaration, a... Read More

How To Have An Excellent Personality

The way to define your personality is to refine your... Read More

The Enchanted Self - Thats Each of Us!

In my years as a psychologist, I have come to... Read More

You Must Change the 148,000 Nos In Your Subconscious to Yes

What does it take to succeed? How can you move... Read More

Mindfulness and Curiosity: Inspiring Affection

"I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious."... Read More

You Cant Plant Apple Seeds and Expect Oranges

Cheri decided that she wanted to grow an apple tree... Read More

It?s All About Beliefs

Changing your mindset can have a significant impact on achieving... Read More

Attitude Adjustment 101: Nine Ways to Transform You From Mediocre to Magnificent

"Work on your career and you'll make a living. Work... Read More

Life Is Not Always Fair

I once heard the story of a grown bear that... Read More

Spring Into Enchantment

Who can control a smile sneaking across your face as... Read More

3 Little Words Equal More Power To You!

Life shouldn't be so complicated. Have you ever wondered why... Read More

5 Ways To Use Mind Power To Maximise Your Potential

Why do patients who are given placebo pills report that... Read More

Ditch Lack of Confidence and Unlock Full Potential

Being the next Carmen Electra or Paris Hilton might or... Read More

Good News! The Pathway of Change Is Predictable

Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel... Read More

Living with Chronic Illness & Disorders: Are You a Survivor?

Once upon a time, I was a vibrant, youthful teenager...My... Read More

Developing Self-Esteem

It would be pretty hard to become successful without first... Read More

A Day in Your Life: 17 Ways to Make it a Special Day

A day in your life is a brief and precious... Read More

Where Do You Get A Positive Attitude You Asked?

How are you? Where do you get a positive attitude... Read More

Your Dominant Thoughts - How to Take Advantage of Them

Self belief is a wonderful thing.I know from my own... Read More

Firewords: A Dangerous Necessity in Your Life?

There are many stories of people injuring themselves, and others,... Read More

Positive Self Talk - What Should You Say?

How do you explain things to yourself? With positive self... Read More

In A Slump?, Rejoice I Say, Rejoice!

Yea, I know........I hear you saying "that's easy for you... Read More