Why Cant I Remember Your Name?

You're terrible with names. You forget someone's name within ten seconds of their introduction, and it embarrasses you. In fact, it's possible you won't even approach someone whose name you have forgotten. As a result, you will miss out on a valuable business contact.

If you go out of your way to identify and amplify names, it is the easiest thing to show people you appreciate them. A person's name is the difference between a stranger and a friend; the difference between a prospect and a client; and the difference between "that guy," and "Marty, my newest customer."

But in addition to mastery of these skills, it is equally important to understand why you forget them. If you target this problem at its source, you discover ways to eliminate name forgetting before it begins. You will also become more attune of what stands in your way to make enriching connections with new people.

Attitude
I'm bad with names. I can only remember faces. I always forget people. I don't think I'll ever improve my memory for names. I feel guilty when I ask the person to repeat their name again and again.

Change your attitude! You can't continue to make excuses and apologize to people if you forgot their names. If you tell yourself you're terrible with names, you're always going to be terrible - it's a self fulfilling prophecy. Moreover, if you apologize to people, you only remind them that you're terrible!

Focus
I failed to focus on the moment of introduction. I was too busy worrying about the correct handshake. I was overly self conscious about my first impression with the new client. I thought about me and not about them.

Forget about you. Focus on them. This is the foundation of customer loyalty. Smile and make eye contact as soon as they say their name. Repeat it back to them within four seconds. Don't worry?when you do remember their name, you will make a good first impression.

The Name Itself
I forgot their name because it's complicated. I forgot their name because it's too long. I forgot their name because it's derived from a culture different than my own.

Ask them about the spelling, origin or context of their name. The longer and more unusual a name, the easier it will be to inquire further. As such, this not only allows them to repeat their name, but you appeal to their personal interests. It shows them you care about their personal information, flatters them and makes them feel valued. Usually, they will be glad to tell you about their name.

Memory
I forgot a customer's name within ten seconds of introduction. I drew a complete mental blank. I was humiliated.

This occurs because a person's name is the single context of human memory most apt to be forgotten. So, widen other areas of your memory circuit and repeat the name out loud in the beginning, during and at the end of the conversation. When you speak the name, hear the name, and listen to yourself say the name, you will remember it.

Assumption
I assume someone will tell me their name. I assume my coworker will introduce me. I assume names aren't a big deal.

Be the first to ask. Go out of your way to find out people's names. Take your colleague aside and tell them to introduce you to the person clearly and properly. When they do introduce you, be certain to make eye contact with your new associate. This forces you to concentrate on his or her face and name and block out noises and distractions.

Substitution
I accidentally put the wrong names with the wrong people. I confused people's faces. I saw someone's name as an arbitrary fact, and did not turn it into a meaningful representation of them.

Look at people's facial features when they tell you their name. Dramatize those features and make a memorable connection between the person and their name. The crazier the connection, the easier the name will be to remember.

Overload
I was introduced to several customers at the same time. My brain was overloaded. Five names went in one ear and out the other. My memory for names has diffused.

Ask the person who introduced you to quietly repeat everyone's name in your ear. Then, go around the group and say their names to yourself while you look at their faces. Say them over and over again in your head during the conversation. Do this several times. If all else fails, write the names down, look at their business cards, and/or visualize the person's face while you consult your notes.

Practice. Practice. Practice. That's the hard part. But over time you will learn how different methods and tools for name memory will work best for you. Whichever learning style best suits your personality; use any combination of visual, aural or dramatic techniques to remember names.

Attitude. Attitude. Attitude. That's the easy part. As practice enhances your name memory over time, it only takes a few seconds to decide to change your attitude. Don't tell yourself that you can't remember names! Once you have made the decision to go out of your way to remember them, it will only be easier to acquire and master the skill.

Whether you're on a sales call, in the field, work at a conference or serendipitously meet someone again at the grocery store, if you remember someone's name it will be more valuable to you than gold.

You know how it feels when someone goes out of their way to remember your name. That warm sense of appreciation rings in your ear and resonates like a bell down to your heart. It is a pulse of pure human energy. And every time it happens, it brings us closer together. It fulfills our capacity to instantly and effortlessly connect with each other.

© 2005 All Rights Reserved.

Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "The World's Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.

---

Keys to Successful Networking While In Transition

Let's be real. With other pressures of life upon us,... Read More

Unforgettable First Impressions Part 1: Discover the CPI

People like others whom they are like. So if you... Read More

Joining Industry Specific Organizations Has Many Benefits

Recently, while providing an up-and-coming Virtual Assistant (VA) and small... Read More

Lessons from the Wedding Mafia

One of my clients shared a story with me from... Read More

The Secrets of Effective Networking

Before we talk about specific networking tips I want to... Read More

Value-Added Network

A value-added network can be achieved through explicit actions to... Read More

Ten Simple Steps to More Customers with Better Networking

Networking is a great way to meet people in a... Read More

How to Find Participants for a Trial Run

Why is a network meeting the best place to get... Read More

Where to Find a Cash Windfall of $10,000 - $1,000,000 - You Never Knew You Had

There is a rather famous true story called "Acres of... Read More

People Know People

I recently entered the keyword "networking" into Google. In 0.13... Read More

Alliances: More Than A One Way Relationship

What is the biggest advantage of forming an alliance?Everyone has... Read More

Getting Leads

How many leads do you pass on?As a reminder, you... Read More

Networking Skills: Arguing in Context

If you're fond of a good debate, you know how... Read More

Growing Your Network of People Can be Easy and Fun!

A few years back when I moved to Charlotte, NC... Read More

How to Keep from Sounding LIKE Totally Stupid

June is reality check month. Lots of the resolutions have... Read More

When Gifts Say More

What's a gift mean? If you're like me, you probably... Read More

The Quest for Passive Income

Passive Income, residuals, royalties three ways to get paid multiple... Read More

How to Generate More Business by Telling People What You Do

What do you tell people when asked what you do?... Read More

Volunteering for a Networking Group

When is it appropriate to volunteer to take a position... Read More

Hey, Whos the New Guy? How to Make Guests and First Timers Feel Welcome

The New Guy is a person we all know. And... Read More

Test Your Networking Know-How

Let's test your knowledge on networking:1)The best definition of networking... Read More

How to be Known

Why business relationships are formed with certain people?If you go... Read More

Successfully Meeting And Greeting - Ten Strategies For Getting Off To A Good Start

A day in the life of every businessperson is made... Read More

A Vital Habit For Selling Big Ticket Items

I hope the title of this article aroused your curiosity!... Read More

Networking Group Loyalty Requirements

How can you find out the group loyalty requirements before... Read More

Ask for Referrals: And Get the Answer You Want!

Why are people scared to ask for a referral? Is... Read More

Network Marketing

Network marketing is the ordinary person's best opportunity to make... Read More

Community Involvement Networking

It is important for you to join at least one... Read More

Practice Makes Pefect

What is the problem when people try to describe what... Read More

Networking - Facts to Ponder

Right here in Europe, the very last continent to enter... Read More

3 Reasons to Join a Group

Defining your purpose for joining a group.When you make the... Read More

Defining a Quality Networking Group

When it comes to quality, how do you choose the... Read More

How to Get Ahead in Your Career

Bigger Better Deal. That's what everyone always hopes will come... Read More