Improving Your Self Esteem

Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Our society also sends a message of competition and achievement. We watch sports, we always hear about profit and the bottom line being the dollar, we see large companies competing and constantly buying each other out.

The result often is that we are taught to see how well we are doing, in terms of how pretty we are, how bright we are, what kind of house we have, how well we do in sports, what rewards we receive. However, in reality, these are external measures. Each of us needs to develop a sense of self-worth, a capacity for positive self-regard that comes from within.

Here is an example: Sara was divorced and felt in many ways that she had shortchanged her two daughters, in the sense that they lived on very little money. She could shower few luxuries on them. At times, in her therapy, she talked to me about feeling that she was not much good at anything. Her husband had been abusive both physically and mentally, and had put her down almost constantly. Although she no longer lived with him, inside of herself she still carried feelings of worthlessness.

One day I asked her to review some of the best moments in her childhood. She said, "I always loved when Uncle Sam used to come over, and we all sang songs." I asked her if she did anything like that now, with her girls. She said that they often sang together in the car. In fact, she had taught them many of the songs that Uncle Sam had taught her. I asked her if she realized that she was offering her girls some of the wonderful family memories that were unique to her as a child. She said she hadn't thought about it, but it was certainly true. During months of therapy, we worked again and again in recognizing many valuable aspects of herself. Needless to say, her self-esteem began to improve. Sara is an example for all of us, in the sense that each person has to document his or her own positive talents and strengths.

We have to learn to pat ourselves on the back. To help you, I suggest a self-pride list. During the coming week, write down at least one item a day that you can take pride in having handled well. For example, I was polite and kind to several people in the supermarket checkout line, even though I was tired. Or, I used my head, rather than my fist, and really shared with my son my concerns over his getting another traffic ticket.

At the end of the week, read over your self-pride list, giving yourself a mental hug, or the high five sign. This is the beginning of giving yourself more recognition, which will in time lead to an improved sense of self worth. It is only with this improved sense of self-esteem that you can have the confidence to make sure that your life is filled with enchantment.

About The Author

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm

---

Ever Wondered Why Everyone Else is Moving On, Except You?

"I attend courses, read books, listen to CD's, yet I... Read More

Vistas

The other day I found myself frustrated with the slow... Read More

Dream Lover

Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 1,... Read More

Borne Upon the Wings of Words

How often do you have opportunities every day to exercise... Read More

Powerful Caretakers - Taking Good Care of Ourselves First

Our community consists of powerful caretakers. We do a great... Read More

Night of the Living Dead

For many people, life has become as dull and despairing... Read More

Living on Purpose: One Rock at a Time

I just got back from Colorado where I spent a... Read More

Fulfilling Your Dreams: The Magic Of Starting

Fulfilling your dreams will remain a mirage if you simply... Read More

Dread Disease Dragged Out My Best

In denial, I was slow to accept Multiple Sclerosis. Who,... Read More

Your World Your Way - Trusting Yourself In Business

"It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you... Read More

Oldies

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 5,... Read More

Just a Typical Teenage Boy

Judge not, lest ye be judged. ?Matthew 7:1The call was... Read More

The Nature of Anger

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More

The Power of Inspiration

INSPIRATION can be a powerful thing. It can keep... Read More

Here is The Inspirational Wisdom From The Masters

Have you always wanted to do invent something, create something,... Read More

Eradicating The Heart of Poverty

Poverty can sometimes only be a state of mind, based... Read More

A Reason For Living in a Nutshell

In brief, my book A REASON FOR LIVING is the... Read More

Forcing Inspiration

Most people, when they have to complete a creative endeavour,... Read More

Impaired Judgment

Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 23,... Read More

Case Closed

Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 27,... Read More

Fighting Grief: The Time To Show You Care

The news came as a shock to us all. He... Read More

Dreams Do Come True

Experience has made a lot of folks to consider dreams... Read More

Dreams and Desires, Wants and Wishes Journals

Have you ever dreamed of a new house? Have you... Read More

Lesson Learned

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 9,... Read More

Beautiful Day Blues

The massive orb dominates the aqua crystalline backdrop of its... Read More

Important Things to Know / Remember About Life

I love you not because who you are, but... Read More

Create Resistance or Creative Acceptance

Resistance is not a new word, but for many of... Read More

War, Disasters and All is Well

It is not very often that I have an issue... Read More

Garbage In Its Place

There is nothing worse than seeing garbage blowing down the... Read More

There Is Always Room For Improvement

When I was twelve my parents bought me a five... Read More

Giving Importance

I call myself semi-retired. I work at a job that... Read More

Trusting Your Genius Within

Comments about New Theories in the Professions and Business!I recall... Read More

Anamcara - The Blessing of Peace

"Come out of the circle of time and into... Read More