Going Solo on Valentines Day: Advice For Singles

The stores are decorated in candy hearts, flowers and bears. Every TV or radio commercial reminds you that it's time to remember your sweetheart on this special day for lovers. Your feelings range from sadness, to revulsion to anger. What's a single person to do? The following suggestions are designed to both answer that question and to help you have a good day after all, while working to make it your last solo one.

Celebrate the day by planning an activity that is meaningful and enjoyable to you.

Choose something that provides you with a special treat.

* Go to a day spa for "the works"

* plan an intimate dinner for 3 or 4

* go ice-skating or to the movies with a fun friend

* go out to dinner and a movie with a group of other singles

* Focus on what you enjoy and make a conscious decision about how to mark the day

* Un-Valentines Day parties are very popular and can be a lot of silly fun. You can attend one or throw one of your own.

Design a relationship-building plan.

Let the holiday provide you with the motivation to take risks, try new ideas and gain the knowledge that will enable you to find and create a lasting, intimate relationship.

* Sit down at the computer or with pen and paper in hand and get your plan written down.

* Begin by making a list of resources that can be used to help you meet available singles. These can include: on-line dating sites, singles groups, volunteer activities, or participation in sports or other activities that you enjoy.

*Decide when and how often you will participate in any activity you have chosen.

*Make a budget for both time and available funds for this purpose.

*Do your homework and research each resource so the information will be available when you need it.

Review those resolutions you made, or make some if you haven't yet.

Think about what is really important to you. Remind yourself that implementing and sticking to these will help ensure that you are really ready for that special relationship. Being the kind of person you want to be with is the first step.

Begin with concrete goals. For example:

*stick with a healthy diet

* exercise three times a week

* plan one organizational task per week, etc.

Taking care of yourself and living well will optimize your chances for relationship success. Start today.

Work to eliminate negative thinking.

When a negative thought comes into your mind, take a moment to think about what is beneath it. Then, tell yourself that thinking this way is not good for you. Make a decision to drop the thought and try to think of something (anything) that is positive. It can be as simple as focusing on what a beautiful day it is outside, to feeling grateful that you survived the current wave of lay-offs in your company.

Use this technique for situations as well. Ask yourself how you can view the situation differently. Try to find one positive angle or outcome that could result from an otherwise bad situation. For example, you are being laid off from your job. You have been unhappy for a long time, but could not motivate yourself to do anything about it. Now, you have the motivation to look for a new job, or perhaps change careers. Think of all the possibilities that could open up for you.

Negative thinking is a downward spiral that leads to negative behavior and possibly depression. Consciously choose to challenge these thoughts, and empower yourself with a more positive outlook and approach to life.

Hopefully these tips will assist you in having a better "solo" Valentine's Day than you might have been headed for. Enjoy the day by doing something fun. Then focus on your relationship plan and empower yourself to build the healthy, lasting relationship of your dreams.

Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia. She specializes in working with singles who want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly. http://www.consum-mate.com

---

Kids Halloween Costumes! Your Pint-sized Witches And Goblins Can Look Their Spookiest & Cutest Ever

It's not only the candy that puts smiles on kids'... Read More

Fathers Day Gift Ideas for Dad!

Father's Day...Father's Day only one month away! Father's Day is... Read More

Easy Costumes Kids Can Make

The kindergarten class I was teaching was scheduled to perform... Read More

The Five Best Cigar-Related Fathers Day Gifts

According to a recent study by the internet cigar retailer... Read More

The History of Christmas Ornaments

History of OrnamentsIn A.D. 336, an early Roman calendar first... Read More

Create Warm Memories with Holiday Traditions

I remember just a handful of the Christmas presents I... Read More

Kid Birthday Party Game Ideas - 7 Proven Winners

Here are 7 classic kid birthday party game ideas that... Read More

Experience Mothers Day In A Whole New Way

Mother's Day is the day when sons, daughters and husbands... Read More

Nicely Designed Pillows As Gifts

Many of us are probably squeezing out our brains to... Read More

5 Tips to Reduce Holiday Depression

While war and poor economic conditions begin to affect people... Read More

Give Presence Not Presents

Throughout the year we have many gift-giving opportunities to show... Read More

A Christmas Tradition - Vintage Ornaments

Traditional hand-blown glass Christmas ornaments never seem to go out... Read More

Get Organised for Christmas... NOW!

Hasn't time flown? Only six weeks to Christmas!Now you may... Read More

12 Things That Make Life Worthwhile!

Happy New Year! Around the world, this is a time... Read More

Holiday Spending: How to Keep Your Personal Information Safe

Holiday spending can be a wonderful time. We shop for... Read More

Inexpensive Christmas Stocking Stuffer Ideas For Kids

After all the gifts have been purchased and placed under... Read More

Top Ten Things To Do The Day After Valentines Day

Why should February 14th get all of the attention?1. Water... Read More

5 Things Your Christmas Table Should Not Be Without

Christmas dinner probably the most elaborate and complex dinners you... Read More

Is Labor Day Passe

In a word, yes !Labor Day, which started in 1882... Read More

Stress-Free Party Planning

It's a fact; most of us feel immediately stressed and... Read More

Secrets to a Stress Free Holiday

December and all the excitement that comes with it can... Read More

Mothers Day is coming-Dont Blow It!

Mother's Day is May 8th. And, you do realize all... Read More

Valentine?s Day - Online Worship

Gazing the wide stretched blue carpet, with blows of zephyrs... Read More

Ten Tips for a Real Holiday Season

Holidays and the start of a new year inevitably make... Read More

2 Inexpensive Halloween Costume Ideas

Did you know that you can make your own Halloween... Read More

Holiday Promotion Tips

Are you ready for Mother's Day? Yes I realize it's... Read More

Great Gifts Under $5

Gift giving is at its absolute finest during the Christmas... Read More

Relaxing Holidays - Five Ways To Make Your Next Holiday Stress Free

For many people the end of a year is a... Read More

Mothers Day Shopping Ideas

Do you know a Mom who needs to be thanked... Read More

The Truth about Mistletoe

You can call it the emasculator of the old king,... Read More

Celebrate the 4th and Help a Soldier

My good friend, Rae, just called and suggested having a... Read More

Reduce Waste This Christmas

- Christmas is responsible for more waste and consumption than... Read More

Valentines Day ? Where Did THAT Come From?

Just as soon as the stores put away their Christmas... Read More