I Always Play by the Rules and It Stinks!

This week I coached a wonderfully lovely woman I'll call Jill. She's a bright woman, very compassionate and sweet. She's at one of the corporations where I am an outside consultant/coach. This was our first meeting but within seconds I could tell she had a lot on her mind.. and her plate.

She basically has to work 12 hour days 6 days a week to be able to keep up with her job. She's highly in demand and is spread a LOT too thin. She's in management and so her opinion counts, but she often does the work of three people because she doesn't want to appear to be a complainer, so she doesn't say anything.

She's got a few bosses over her who are very appreciative of the work she puts forth. And then there are a few who continue to heap more work on her already back breaking load.

Today in coaching she told me that she envy's others who have been able to be aggressive to lesson their work load. But she explained to me, that she was the TYPE WHO ALWAYS FOLLOWED RULES.

Ooops! Red flag for sure!!

For more information: mary@marygardner.com WEB: www.marygardner.com

? (What if it's 5:00 in the morning and you're sitting at a red light that isn't changing.. do you run the red light or sit and wait until it changes?

? How about, what if you are on the high way and there are no cars in sight and the speed limit says 65, do you go 75?

? Or what if there is a late fee of $25 if you write a check to the county by a certain date and you back date a check to look like the mail's fault? You do it because you are trying to be fiscally responsible?

? What if an employee has to take extra sick days from work because they've got sick children?

? What if you or your child has terrible mosquito bites and can't stop itching and the drug store is closing. Would you ask them to stay open a few minutes late for you? )

Come on! Everyone breaks rules every once in a while!! Rules are made to keep people monitored and in line but are broken all the time with good cause.

Anyway, she continued to share with me her frustration over no one noticing her crazy schedule and her continued quiet suffering.

So I asked her: "Jill, when did you learn this lesson that you always had to follow the rules? " She replied that her dad was in the military and that she learned that you never talk back to superiors, and whether you have a great opinion or not, you keep it to yourself if it differs from authority.

Hmmmm. "And Jill, how old were you when you learned this lesson from your dad?" Jill told me that she was about 3-5 years old, and grew up that way.

So I replied: "so you are living with the decision of a THREE year old. You made this decision at age THREE or age FIVE and you are STILL living with it!" " Do you want to continue living as a THREE year old in business.. or do you want to learn some NEW skills that are a bit more up to date?"

I could see her take a gulp at the realization that she is running around acting like a child when she is in her mid 40's. She IMMEDIATELY said that she wanted to learn some new rules to live by.. and gain some new business tools.

As a matter of fact, I think I saw her pound her fist on the table when she said it! Now THAT Is a woman who is ready to claim her power!

I was thrilled. It made my day. What the heck, it made my week! I felt alive and so rewarded that I could make a positive impact in the way this woman conducts her life.

So ask yourself, what is holding YOU back? Do you keep repeating something over and over that isn't helping you anymore or it's actually prohibiting you from getting ahead? Have you asked yourself WHY?

A great exercise is to sit down with pen and paper and answer the question of why. If you have a reason that stems from childhood, whether it was your parents or what you were taught, then it's time to get some new teachers and time to learn new skills.

It's a great revelation when we see how we gain our limiting beliefs. But its even a better feeling to know that they'll soon be past history.

Mary Gardner is an Executive Communications Consultant and Coach. She works with, coaches and trains individuals, sales teams, executives, and celebrities. She enjoys seeing the best come out in people and has fun in the process. Mary is married to Sway and is mommy to Jeremy 5 and lives in Orlando, FL.

For More information: mary@marygardner.com
WEB: www.marygardner.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Content Management: Wise Investment for Business Prosperity

The time when a website was just a simple set... Read More

Who is Responsible?

While writing an article recently on effective ways to bridge... Read More

How to Start A Business Plan

A business plan precisely defines your business, identifies your goals,... Read More

Art of Succession Planning

Succession planning, like any business acumen, is both an art... Read More

Restaurant Startup - Part 1: Market Research ? What are Potential Competitors Doing?

The first step in starting a restaurant is proper planning.... Read More

Ten Steps To A Great Strategic Plan

Ask a small business owner about their strategic plan and... Read More

Are You Aware of Planning in Business?

Human beings are rational agents. Rationality endorses one to take... Read More

Business Plan Financial Projections: Stop Worrying About Being Right...

Business plan financial projections seem daunting because they are so... Read More

Parking Business, the Details on Increasing Lot Revenue

If you are in the parking business and own or... Read More

Scheduling of Additional Auto Detailing or Mobile Car Wash Units

If you own a mobile car wash business or auto... Read More

The Top Five Reasons Strategic Plans Fail

"Most great plans aren't. They are just nice, high-level ideas."That's... Read More

6 Changes You Can Make to Increase Business Profits

I read once that something like 30 percent of all... Read More

Is Plan B Ready?

Business owners and entrepreneurs are, by nature, risk takers and... Read More

Leverage - A Small Step For You /A Big Change For Your Career

Cassy was an employee of a nonprofit who had been... Read More

Connecting Your Offline Business to Your Online Business

These may sound like no brainers, but you'd be surprised.... Read More

The 7 Critical Steps to Formulating Your Annual Strategic Business Plan

Businesses tend to avoid doing their annual business plan thinking... Read More

Top 10 Tips to Create A Business Plan! (For People Who Hate Business Plans)

One of the key challenges for any business is to... Read More

Clearing the Path: 4 Ways Fear Wreaks Havoc on Your Dream and What to Do About It

Please take a moment before you read any further and... Read More

Dayton, OH; Why your Company needs to expand there

In Ohio: besides the 3-Cs you should look at Akron,... Read More

Mining Market Data

With a heightened awareness of opportunity, ideas can often be... Read More

Business Plan 101 How to Write a Table of Contents

No matter what business you plan to start in your... Read More

GOT MEME? How to Attract Your Clients and Customers Attention

No "meme" isn't a typo and Got Milk, the more... Read More

If You Dont Focus, Innovate and Evolve, You Die

After 128 years of business, a household word, Montgomery Wards,... Read More

Your Business: Will It Have A Happy Ending?

"Begin with the end in mind," says Stephen Covey in... Read More

The Power of Planning

I am surprised how few sales professionals, independent consultants, and... Read More

Top Ten Reasons To Create A One Page Business Plan

There is a story, about a business owner who wasn't... Read More

Top Reasons To Form A Strategic Business Alliance

A strategic alliance is when two or more businesses join... Read More

Business Results - Four Critical Success Factors

Scenario OneDuring a recent presentation, a business owner was given... Read More

Pressure Washing Entrepreneurs Can Help With Government NPDES Permits

If you own a pressure washing business one of the... Read More

Abstract Thought; Business Strategies and Biological Systems

To stop a computer virus you must understand how it... Read More

Titanic Precautions

Many movies have been made about the tragic story of... Read More

8 Ways to Earn More Without Working Harder

Conventional wisdom has it that there are only three ways... Read More

Top Ten Traits of Strategic Thinkers

Want to become more strategic? Add these traits to your... Read More