Choosing Our Parents

There's a Native American belief that before we are born, we choose our parents. It actually ties in pretty nicely with the reincarnation idea that we prearrange certain circumstances before each life so as to learn different lessons. Either way, our parents teach us so much more than they ever mean to. Through their choices, circumstances, faults, talents and ability to show their love and support, they mold us. If life is a rat race, then our folks determine what we come out of the starting blocks with.

The gifts they give us are so much more than biological. Yeah, there's the basics of whether or not you go through life as pretty, ugly, or just sort of plain looking. I don't have to tell you that physical looks, athletic abilities, and general health definitely effect how we go through life. Our parents can decide whether or not we're deformed or mentally challenged by deciding to create alcohol syndrome or drug addicted babies. And they genetically predispose us to various future challenges, like breast cancer or heart disease. Other than by taking care of our bodies with proper rest and nutrition while growing up, there isn't a whole lot that they can do about most of the physical characteristics they pass along to us.

Most of us are average, that's what average means. So most of us inherit average bodies with average talents and average health. So what does it matter who we choose as our parents? For proof, just look at the people who were raised by adopted parents or those who were raised in blended step-families. Their biology isn't really what comes to mind when we look at the gifts and challenges they received from their 'folks.'

Our parents - whether biological, adopted, or stepparents - determined what our environment would be while growing up. They chose our financial health, spiritual health, educational health, social health, and mental health. They may have consciously sat down and made the decisions and acted on them, or they may have paid no attention whatsoever to how those things would turn out. Many parents are themselves uneducated or unhealthy in some of these areas and don't even know that there were other choices to be made. It's not always intentional, what they chose. Either way, they made choices that determined all of those things for us.

It's really easy if we had blessed childhoods to give thanks to our parents for making wonderful choices on our behalf. If we believe in that theory that we choose our parents before birth, then we can nod and say, "Yep, I certainly did pick some winners! Sure am glad I picked those two as my parents. They supported me in everything I ever wanted to do and paid for my music lessons and never stopped loving me no matter what!"

But what if you were one of those kids whose childhood sucked? Was your dad an alcoholic? Was your mom the queen of guilt trips? Was your dad the overachiever who pressured you to carry on his legacy? Was your mother a gold digger hopping from one wealthy man to the next, never really paying attention to you? Were your folks ignorant and uneducated, not having a clue that you were a bored genius with nobody to talk to? Did they make choices constantly based on themselves instead of their children? Were they artists who got so carried away in the creative process that they'd forget you existed at times? Whatever the story, you get the idea. You may or may not love your folks, but you know that if you had it to do over again you certainly wouldn't have picked those two people to be in charge of your early years. The last thing you want to hear is that you might have chosen that upbringing for yourself.

Shift gears with me here, for just a minute. Look into yourself and tell me what you are most proud of. Is it your tenacity? Your ability to pick yourself up and carry on no matter what? Your moxie? Your incredible ability to read other people and know just how to reach out and help them? Your artistic ability to create music that sings to the soul of the lonely and uplift them for just a minute? Your incredible work ethic? Your own ability to really be present and in the moment with your own kids? Sit for a moment and look at the incredible strength and amazing traits that you created for yourself despite your parents.

If I had been the spoiled pampered princess I wanted to be, I would never be able to write for you today. It's because I come from a broken home that I know how important true loving connection is regardless of whether the original two parents are the ones raising you or not. It's because I was under the impression that I was abandoned that I found out how to be strong and independent and no longer clingy and needy. I wouldn't have the pride and self assurance that I can overcome anything life throws at me if I had always had the safety net of family to fall back on. Look into your own life. Would you be the amazing person you are today if you had been raised with a silver spoon and ideal parents?

Initially when we begin our healing process, we can identify what particular flavor of 'screwed up' we are and who's fault it is that we turned out that way. Continuing on the path of healing, we get to a place where we can forgive those who helped create the mess that we became. Finally, we come to realize what a blessing it was that we got to go through that particular journey and to learn those particular lessons and to gain those particular tools and gifts as a result. Then we can be grateful that we chose the parents we did.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.

Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

---

When We See Jesus As He Is

You know that the Bible tells us a lot about... Read More

Intuition

Did you ever get a feeling or gain notion of... Read More

Mystic Vision Opens Mind Body Connection

Worldwide extensive research is being published related to the mind-body... Read More

My Search for the Truth

I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. Maybe you've heard... Read More

Kundalini Symbology

While study and pursuit of the Kundalini is considered part... Read More

Joy Of The Lord

The word means different things to different people. Is it... Read More

To Praise Him is to Love Him; to Love Him is to Obey His Commands

Some say praising Jesus is just singing. Others say it... Read More

Searchable by Jesus

Some people go to physics and spiritual readers for advice... Read More

Unfinished Business (Part 2)

We know that David did much to stabilize the Kingdom... Read More

So None of Us Arrived With an Owners Manual! A Fresh Perspective on the Drive to Lead (part 1)

So, none of us arrived with an Owner's Manual, neatly... Read More

Whats Up With the Bad Reading?

A lot of times when I am reading people on... Read More

Power of Prayer - The Most Valuable Dialogue of Your Life

It's the most powerful weapon on Earth. It can turn... Read More

Gilligan Finds Jesus!

One day Gilligan ventures off as usual into the jungle.... Read More

God - A Thousand Words Wasted

Who is God? This question would sound awkward to 80%... Read More

Forgiveness Stories Definition Quotes | Power to Forgive Vested with Human Beings

forgiveness stories quotes definition and loveForgiveness is that quality in... Read More

Life Coaching and Beyond

In Corrogue the air is chill and the frost is... Read More

Praying To Overcome Invisible Entry Barriers

Recently, I received a frantic midnight call from one of... Read More

The Slippery Halls of Perspective.

As we walk these halls of Life viewing the world... Read More

When I Lived in a Haunted House

Now, I will recount in full what happened to me... Read More

Animal Totems - Accept the Gifts They Have To Offer You

You can think of your Animal Totems as imaginary guides... Read More

The Five Essential Secrets of Managing Your Energy Successfully

Inspirational author Vernon Howard wrote, "Would you be worried over... Read More

Enlightenment Takes You to Selfishness

An act of selflessness is the highest expression of selfishness... Read More

Understanding the Gospel of Matthew and Why it Matters - Part 4

Matthew 2:1-12The Visit of the Wise Men1 Now after Jesus... Read More

In Search of a Teacher of Spirit: Eleven Conscious Considerations

Many of us are on an inward or outward path-to... Read More

How To Meditate Using The Bible Like A Double-Edged Sword

Imagine the Bible is a sharp and deadly double-edged sword,... Read More

The Mirror of Truth

James 1:23-24Anyone who listens to the word but does not... Read More

Memories Didnt Happen

Have you ever experienced a traumatic event? I'm sure the... Read More

Why Dont I Get What I Want?

The smart 'spiritual' answer is 'you always get what you... Read More

Celtic Mythology: 7 Ways to a Wonderful Life

In Corrogue, Celtic mythology helps me live a wonderful life.As... Read More

How to Develop a Spiritual Success Partner

1. Identify a woman who is "like minded," who has... Read More

A Broken and Contrite Heart

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken... Read More

How Big is God?

WOW ... what a question. But today, while I was... Read More

Are You Facing Some Challenges?

Are you facing some challenges in your life right now?... Read More