Ever wonder what happened to the family dinner hour? Or for that matter the family dinner half hour? Monday is Soccer Practice, Tuesday is Piano lesson, Wednesday is Church Activities, Thursday is a Soccer Game, Friday a birthday party to attend. A number of events will fill up the weekend. Do you feel like a professional scheduler and taxi driver? Are you finding yourself increasingly irritable as you go from one activity to the next? Maybe you and your children are overscheduled.
As a coach and family therapist I see more and more people wanting to find
balance in their lives. In the past few years I have seen a marked increase in children with anxiety and depression. Children are now saying they are 'stressed out'. I remember one child in particular who just wanted to play a board game with his parents, the only family assignment was to play the board game. The family did not have 'time' to play the game. Children no longer seem to have time to goof off and just be children - goof off time is not on the schedule.
As parents we need to guard our children and ourselves to protect our children's unscheduled time to be children. Children need time to create their own games and also to learn to entertain themselves. Children often want us to entertain them or the television instead of figuring out how to play by themselves. I would hazard a guess that some of your fondest memories as a child were playing out in the backyard with some friends and really doing nothing in particular. Just laughing, playing, talking or 'being'.
Ten Suggestions to keep your family from being overscheduled:
1. Each child in the family has one outside activity (i.e. sports, music lessons) besides church activities. (If you have a big family even this may be difficult.)
2. If your child wants to add an activity they may consider giving up the current activity in exchange for the new one.
3. Set family nights on your calendar. Order a pizza and play board games. No one can schedule anything on family night.
4. Help your child learn to say "No" and help set appropriate limits on their activities away from home.
5. Do not say "Yes" to any new activity for yourself or child till you have weighed the costs (i.e. financial, emotional, loss of family time, etc.)
6. Assess your irritability quotient. Do you find yourself frequently saying, "Hurry up, we are going to be late?" How can you slow down? What can you give up?
7. Resolve to eat dinner together as a family at least 3 - 5 times a week, even if this is sandwiches before you head out to a game or lesson.
8. Schedule "goof-off" time for your family and children. Give your child down time to explore a hobby or play outside.
9. Set priorities for your family. How many hours a week do you want to be together as a family?
10. Take time as a family to enjoy God's creation away from home. Examples: Go to a park, go for a bike ride, go hiking, etc.
As Christian parents we are modeling for our children how to handle stress and how to balance our time. What lessons are we teaching our children? The Bible tell us in Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God..." I'm afraid in our hurried society we are teaching children to "Be harried and know that I am God." We all need down time and time to answer the many beautiful, challenging questions our children have about God and our world. Make the time to slow down and enjoy the gift of your children.
© 2004 Kimberly Chastain
About the Author
Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping Christian women make the most of their lives. She is the author of the on-line course, "I Can't Say No" and Pearls of Encouragement for Christian Working Moms, a free e-book. If you suffer from "I Can't Say 'No" Syndrome, visit Kimberly's site today for the details on an exciting email course that's sure to set you free! http://www.christianworkingmom.com/online.htm
A>.
The Text Information Box above MUST be included for reprint privileges. You may reprint this article in it's entirety with the attached text box.
Among some of us who deem ourselves spiritual, the use... Read More
I very often see rants, complaints, wishes and dreams that... Read More
'Jesus answered, are there not twelve hours in a day?... Read More
I am not saying this because I am in need,... Read More
Lately, I have been asked a lot of questions in... Read More
In a recent article entitled "Our Virtual Reality Reality" I... Read More
WOW ... what a question. But today, while I was... Read More
ADDICTION: - There are numerous obsessions and addictions which prevent... Read More
It's late. But it's usually those words that you cannot... Read More
Coming face to face with yourself in the space between... Read More
My wife, our friend and I went to listen to... Read More
How does God see you? Does He like what He... Read More
Self-actualization comes down to three basic premises: this is who... Read More
Shamanism is an ancient form of mysticism. Although... Read More
By invoking an external God to whom we look for... Read More
Billy Graham once said, "Being a Christian is more than... Read More
I had visions of my daughter for about five years... Read More
I finally went to the dentist today. I had been... Read More
It's not exactly a news flash that we live in... Read More
In the responsibility we have as Christians, we are displayed... Read More
A lot of times when I am reading people on... Read More
For some of us, spirituality is considered a religion, and... Read More
Even Pandora and her box come in two versions. In... Read More
We all need space, we all need time to ourselves.In... Read More
An analysis of Western man's guiding presuppositions, A Review of... Read More
Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai, "Go, assemble... Read More
Journal ExpressionsIf you haven't already done so, please start keeping... Read More
You will become as great as your dominant aspiration...If you... Read More
Qohelet had grown old with time when he delivered his... Read More
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances,... Read More
A spiritual event is what happens in every moment of... Read More
In life, sooner or later, we come to the midnight... Read More
The Evil Eye has been around since the beginning of... Read More
Is life challenging you to take a bigger leap? Are... Read More
The expression "Spiritual Enlightenment" has been used often in reference... Read More
Hello, My name is Mellody Davis and here is my... Read More
According to H. G. Bosch, the newspaper cartoonist H. T.... Read More
Baptism and christening ceremonies are an important event that signifies... Read More
In a recent article entitled "Some Evidence of How We... Read More
Did you ever know somebody who easily accumulates wealth? If... Read More
Taco Bell, the Mexican fast-food franchise, has a new ad... Read More
Five verses specify that we are to live by faith.... Read More
Jesus said, "No one can see the Kingdom of Heaven... Read More
It's strange how my life today looks wildly different from... Read More
The tongue is such a tiny little organ. Yet, it... Read More
"I would rather regret some of my failures in life... Read More
The Emmaus Journal What is Wrong With Being Common? This... Read More
Looking for some ways to feed your soul in the... Read More
Life is like an obstacle course in which we run... Read More
With another year full of family events coming upon us,... Read More
I said something last week I haven't said in years.... Read More
We all need space, we all need time to ourselves.In... Read More
"We're one, but we are not the same."-Bono, U2Once I... Read More
Last Friday night, I met a Christian at a prayer... Read More
My name is Had. You may know me, but you... Read More
Life, no matter how we choose to look at it,... Read More
My favorite scripture is Roman's 8:28. "And we know that... Read More
... Read More
Christianity: White man's religion?Martin Luther King referred to Sunday as... Read More
forgiveness stories quotes definition and loveForgiveness is that quality in... Read More
Rose Ann Schwab is an internationally and world renowned professional... Read More
Matthew 2:1-12The Visit of the Wise Men1 Now after Jesus... Read More
About a month ago I opened up my bible in... Read More
There was a time in my life when I seriously... Read More
An angel can be your best friend. Angels have been... Read More
While it isn't my intention to insult anyone (Alright, for... Read More
Spirituality |