Other Peoples Opinions

In a society where interaction is part of everyday life, and other people form a vital part of life, other people's opinions are actually important in where we fit into society. However, we often think we know what other people are thinking and base our actions around those 'apparent' opinions.

Yet how do we actually know whether our assumptions about other people's opinions are true or not? Frankly, we don't. This is where the Fundamental Attribution Error comes in. To put it into plain Engligh, it means that we make a basic error in assuming other people's thoughts without checking or otherwise knowing whether we are right or not in that assumption.

We base these assumptions on our schema of the world (another Psychology term which means a system of beliefs we have about how the world works from how to order food in a restaurant to how we 'should' live our lives). These schema are made up from our experiences in the world, with some schema being made up from other people's schema which we have picked up along the way: such as our parents' and friends' schemas.

Now mostly, these errors are fairly harmless: it is when we start living our lives entirely around what we think other people are thinking that it can become 'dangerous'. Many people fall into the trap of becoming practically obsessive about what other people are thinking of how we behave that everything that we do becomes subject to what we think other people are thinking.

So how do you stop being like that? First thing to do is to recognise when you are making these assumptions and when they are patently false, and put some kind of system in place to prevent yourself from getting caught up in the negative cycle. One useful technique is the Emotional Release technique taught in the Sedona Method where you can quicly overcome the obsessive nature that can sometimes come from the error. Another way is to understand why you have the schemas you do and to change them: often they are out of date and are not actually helpful (as they are supposed to be). They are also linked to the 'gremlins' (if you're British you might know the term from the recent spate of adverts on TV advertising education) - but that's a future article. Fundamentally though, to overcome harmful errors, it is all about understanding when you make them and stopping them spiral out of control.

Charlotte Burton is a Licensed Career Coach & Psychometric Assessor. For more information and to sign up for the ezine, view the website at http://www.lifeisvital.com or email charlotte@lifeisvital.com to request your complimentary consultation.

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Perception Is Reality

"We think, therefore we are."God always gives us what we... Read More

How to Start a Conversation Effortlessly

The ability to converse effortlessly with those you encounter is... Read More

Why Character and Integrity Are So Important

It's been said that character is defined by what you... Read More

The Three Pillars of Life

We all have the power to change our lives. What... Read More

Live Your Own Life

Are you living your life, the way you want to... Read More

What the Young Man Heard

In the latter half of the 1800s, when the telegraph... Read More

How to Tame the Destructive Ego

Polly's story Polly had a four year old... Read More

Are You The Worlds Expert On Yourself?

Congratulations! You are the world's expert.That's right: you are the... Read More

To Be More Attractive? Zap The Tolerations!

Imagine there is an event that will take place in... Read More

Use Your Vibrations of Energy to Communicate

In the past, I have touched on the connection of... Read More

The Power of Focusing on What Vs. How

We see it and do it enough times to know... Read More

Do You Have Tickets To Your Dream Theater?

I'd like you to do an exercise with me.I want... Read More

What Message Are You Sending Out?

A woman phoned me the other day to ask me... Read More

Business Intuition: Using the HeartMind

Many scientific studies have demonstrated the reality of intuition for... Read More

Principles for Total Prosperity In Business And Beyond

Are you looking for that "something" to give you the... Read More

Manifesting Your Abundance

I believe in myself, therefore, I have all that my... Read More

Affirmations - Anxiety & Panic

Using affirmations can be a very powerful tool. You can... Read More

Where Are The Punctuation Points In Your Life?

We live in a very busy age with many pressures... Read More

What the Samurai Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement

A Seventeenth Century Samurai maxim states:"A man who has attained... Read More

Limited Thought, Limited Experience

I was reminded once again the other day about how... Read More

Heal Thyself First

As I connect with more and more women I am... Read More

How do I Know if Im Getting any of This Law of Attraction Stuff?

This is a popular question people ask me. How do... Read More

How to Play to Your Strengths

Are you clear on your unique qualities, talents and personal... Read More

Attitude Is Everything

The process of human change begins within us. We all... Read More

The Centre of Creative Powers!

Evolution is nothing but seeking with clarity, demanding clarity at... Read More

What People Are Really Interested In & How to Win Friends

A lot of your people problems and concerns about what... Read More

Who Do You Think You Are?

Are you totally in love with your life?Whatever your current... Read More

Finding Your Passion

Where does our motivation come from? What makes us want... Read More

Your Vibrational Meter

Have you ever felt 'stuck' in life? I mean totally... Read More

Five Ways To Create On Purpose By Living In The Moment

What can you do to really immerse yourself into living... Read More

Unexpected Wisdom

If you have ever traveled across country by train, you... Read More

The Journey to a State Called Authentic

Sometimes when I refer to the Authentic Self, I receive... Read More

What is the Universal Law of Attraction?

Most of the time, we attract by 'default' rather than... Read More