How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 10

What about this business of food for lovers? Is it possible that if you eat this, that or the other thing, your time in bed with your partner will be more satisfyingly active? And is this food only designed for men, or is there something out there in the world to kick-start those lazy, inert women, as well?

Without trying to unravel the debate of nature versus nurture, the subject of food for lovers always seemed to be of more importance to men than women.

In the medieval times, when the master in the manor fed on deer haunches, partridge wings and boars' entrails, while his peasant tenant avoided starvation by whatever means he could, just being well fed was enough to activate the procreating process. Indeed, the master of the land, only too aware of the puniness of his undernourished male tenants, had a rule. A bride, before entering her husband's bed, would first be visited by the master himself. The husband didn't like it, of course. But the master knew his duty when he saw it. He might be a lousy landlord in many other ways, but letting a bride have at least one vigorous night was one duty into which he threw himself heart and soul.

Being well fed was well and good, thought the well-fed guys. "But you know," one would say to the other, "I had some Indian curry last Friday night in the little place that just opened around the corner from my place. Boy, did I perform that night! What do you think they put in the stuff?"

And thus started the search for the ultimate aphrodisiac.

In the Elizabethan times, the ladies of the red-light district believed they had the answer. As the client stood around kicking his heels waiting for his turn, the Madam would be circulating with a silver platter piled high with prunes. A real libido-enhancer, a handful of prunes, and by the time he took to the stairs three at a time, the timid pimply hayseed of a moment ago would be transformed into an Errol Flynn.

On the other hand, the Sultan, with his harem of a hundred or so hand-picked beauties, wouldn't give you a penny ? or whatever the Euro equivalent ? for a prune. His secret weapon was the eggplant. The more eggplant he ate, the more he could rise to the occasion. The potency of the eggplant was so great, that it was actually forbidden to the lovelies themselves. There was no saying what lusts would be unleashed once the frustrated ladies fed on this forbidden passion-starter.

And speaking of forbidden, there is another food being touted as more potent than any other ever used any time through the whole history of human civilization. It's a well-known fruit, that if taken three times a day, is guaranteed not only to stop men from wasting money on those artificial pick-me-ups, but also changes women from boring lumps of flesh to dynamic men-eaters.

This food has been around so long, that it seems unbelievable that it has taken all this time to uncover its virtue. And yet how inevitable.

It's, of course, the apple. Discovered by Adam and Eve, the story of good and evil diverted everyone from the real point of the story. After eating it, not only did man and woman discover their sexuality, but they were spurred to do something about it.

Three apples a day for the rest of your life. That's all it will take.

Oh, happy, happy day! No more eggplant.

Vlady, an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant, is an author of "The Complete Book of Australian Weddings", "The Small Organisation Handbook", and an ebook, "Honeymoon! A Sizzle or a Fizzle?".

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Tips for Choosing the Right Wedding

The job of choosing the right wedding cake style is... Read More

Wedding Photography - Tips for a Wonderful Session

Every couple wants wonderful photos of their wedding day that... Read More

Essential Advice for Your Wedding Day

You've been engaged for months, you've made it through planning... Read More

The Beautiful Bride To Be ? Beauty Tips For The Big Day

It goes without saying that we all want to look... Read More

Rockland: Maines BestKept Secret for A Wedding Destination

In 2004' Rockland Maine celebrated its 150th anniversary, yet very... Read More

Terrific Advice Concerning Destination Weddings As Shared By Two Gurus On The Topic

Today Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel.com & Bookpleasures.com is pleased... Read More

Throwing a Las Vegas Garden Wedding

You may not think of Las Vegas as an area... Read More

Toss a Garter or Two

The tempo of the music begins to rise. Drums begin... Read More

Building Your Marriage: Some Thoughts From St. Paul

These verses of Scripture from St. Paul are commonly used... Read More

Honeymoon Registries: A Guide to Asking for Your Honeymoon as a Wedding Gift

Is the cost of your wedding putting the honeymoon of... Read More

The Perfect String Quartet Repertoire for Your Wedding

Here follows suggestions and tips that will help you determine... Read More

Wedding Jewelry Tips Tricks and Helpful Hints

So your not one of those fabulous actresses or models... Read More

Wedding Etiquette for the Best Man, Groomsmen, and Ushers

Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good... Read More

Is Your Heart Set On An Antique Engagement Ring?

As Mark Twain said "Let us not be too particular;... Read More

Focus On What Is Important ? Your Wedding Disc Jockey Choice

Your true love got down on his knees and asked... Read More

Getting Married? What You Should Do With Your Checking Accounts and Credit Cards

Marriage is a wonderful thing, but planning the wedding is... Read More

Wedding Dresses - What To Wear

You have begun to plan your wedding and you want... Read More

Let Them Eat Cake -- Just Not at Your Wedding

It's a fact, however odd it seems, that some brides... Read More

Las Vegas Wedding Chapels

In Las Vegas, once you get your marriage license you... Read More

Wedding Gown Styles

The wedding gown is most important choice for a bride... Read More

Capture Your Perfect Moment with a Wedding Website

Not so many years ago, the proposition of a wedding... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 4

When Maria Callas first appeared on the international scene, she... Read More

Displaying Your Wedding Bouquet

The great day has come and gone, and you are... Read More

The Maid of Honor ? Remember, It?s All About the Bride!

The term and role "Maid of Honor" is sometimes confusing,... Read More

Expressions of Devotion: Buying Engagement Rings, Wedding Rings, and Wedding Bands Online

Ritual symbolism abounds in everything we do; this is particularly... Read More

Wedding Bouquets for Life

One of the most beautiful of the bride's adornments at... Read More

Get Swept Away on Your Wedding Day: Rent a Sailboat or Yacht!

For a day you'll never forget on that special occasion,... Read More

Invitation Anatomy 101 - Optional Components - Part 2 of 3

Hopefully, you've read my prerequisite lesson "Invitation Anatomy 101 ?... Read More

How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon

1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or... Read More

Cancun Honeymoon Vacation - Pleasure Unlimited!

The Cancun honeymoon vacation comes with its bagage of sweet... Read More

Chocolate Wedding Favors

Providing chocolate as a wedding favor has been a time... Read More

Marriage Dreams When Fails!

Marriage and Attraction: Relation is successful as long as there... Read More

Marriage Advice: Upgrade Your Marriage By Changing Your Focus

As the story goes, a Cherokee elder was sitting with... Read More