1) Write a mission statement:
Most brides spend more time planning for their wedding day than for the marriage itself and are unprepared for what happens after the "I do." More than half of newlyweds will struggle to maintain a fraction of the friendship they now enjoy with their spouse. Lack of a realistic vision of how married life will be or a plan to help this vision manifest is the first mistake many new brides make. If you and your mate have been functioning without written objectives, you must come together and create a concise set of goals for your family unit and institute a plan of action to achieve these goals. An individual goal should never undermine or take precedence over a mutual goal. You must train yourself to think, work and play as a team. Selfish behavior is like poison to any marriage and helps to guarantee a quick demise.
2) Don't withhold sex from your mate:
Married men resent when women use sex as a bargaining chip and make them feel that lovemaking is something they have to earn. Over a long period of time, this type of manipulation can prove disastrous. When you enter into matrimony you are agreeing to be solely responsible for fulfilling your husband's sexual needs, unless you are a swinger. Men have no problem separating their emotions from their physical desires, which is why they still expect hot sex after a heated argument.
3) Don't compete with the people/things that he loves:
So ? you've always hated his pesky childhood friend who is constantly around or his love affair with Play Station 2, but you're holding your peace until after the big day. Huge mistake! Never wait until after the wedding to start a turf war with the things or people your husband loves. Instead, you should be making plans on how you can incorporate them into your life in a way that both you and your husband can appreciate. Perhaps his pesky best friend is talented with wood work and can help you restore a family heirloom, or maybe you can convert the bedroom into a scene from a Play Station 2, complete with interesting bonus points. Whatever you decide, remember that your husband is a grown man and not a child; you cannot choose his friends or predilections. As problems arise in your marriage, search for solutions that bring you closer together and not drive you apart.
4) Plan ahead:
Small things make a big difference and will help to determine if your husband enjoys the prospect of getting out of bed and starting another day with you. What is the atmosphere in your home in the morning? Is there peace or is there confusion? Does your day begin with disorganization or is your home running like a well-constructed device.
Unnecessary drama can be avoided with organization. As your marriage evolves and expands to include children or aging parents, good organizational skills will be paramount to your relationships success. Careful thought should go into the daily atmosphere within your home. It is a refuge and sanctuary for your man or a place from which to retreat?
5) Find an experienced mentor and confidant:
The intimate details of your relationship with your spouse should only be shared with a trusted few. The women you meet in church are no exception to this rule. Anyone can be tempted when given enough information and ammunition. And many husbands have been led astray inside the house of the Lord. Find an older more experienced couple to mentor you and your mate. Plan a monthly activity with your mentors when possible. Don't discuss your man or marriage with your girlfriends who do not like your spouse or with your girlfriends who are angry with men in general. This almost guarantees that you will receive tainted advice. Seek out positive supporters who can encourage you. Remember that an ally builds and an adversary destroys.
6) Leave the past behind:
Everyone brings a little baggage from their past relationships, but this needs to be kept to a minimum. Think travel bag and not suitcase. The past should be used only as a guide to reflect on the victories you've one, the obstacles you've overcome and the lessons you've learned amidst your failures. Do not wallow in the past or on past offences. Do not spend time obsessing on past relationships, or worse, obsessing on the past relationships of your spouse. After all, he chose you.
7) Never fake an orgasm:
Why do this? Really? I'm intrigued about the type of woman who pretends her husband is getting her off when he is not. I think faking an orgasm is a cop out for those who lack the communications skills or experience necessary to convey what they really want. This is a deceitful practice and it ensures that your husband will remain at a disadvantage through the duration of your marriage. It can also cause you to have a wandering eye. If your mate does not sexually fulfill you, as you would like, find a constructive way to tell him. You should be able to convey exactly where the problem lies and how the problem can be corrected. Many women do not realize that they are putting their mates at a disadvantage if they are relying solely on his previous experience. Take time to explore your own body and be able to communicate what you have learned. If you don't know what you want, why should he?
8) Be quick to offer forgiveness:
An unforgiving spirit will devastate any relationship. Mercy is not based on merit but on the condition of your heart. You either choose to extend it or you don't. Once you have offered forgiveness to your mate, never bring up his past offences in a future argument. Old wounds continually reopened can't heal.
Sought-after relationship coach and motivational speaker Xxavier T. is the author of Treat Your Man Like A V.I.P.: Topless Tactics You Were Never Taught. Xxavier holds a degree in psychology from Southern University at New Orleans, but maintains that the majority of her expertise is based on the first principal of discovery ?observation. Xxavier writes a romance column for Offline Magazine that can also be accessed via the internet at http://neworleansblack.com/romance/index.php or browse Xxavier's book at http://centurionhouse.net/browse_book.htm
Each of the dozens of Maui honeymoon resorts can be... Read More
Sure you want your guests to enjoy themselves at your... Read More
It's your day! The most special day of your life,... Read More
The tempo of the music begins to rise. Drums begin... Read More
Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries.... Read More
To keep romance alive and nurture the intimacy in your... Read More
He's popped the question. You've chosen a date. And now,... Read More
Whatever your religious affiliation, or whatever you'd like to experience,... Read More
Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to... Read More
At one time or another, most of us have had... Read More
Getting hitched, taking the plunge, tying the knot, jumping the... Read More
Mattresses and marriage go hand in hand. Sleep is important... Read More
Have you ever noticed that weddings seem to be all... Read More
Going to Italy on a honeymoon vacation could be the... Read More
The selection process of your wedding flowers will usually begin... Read More
My husband and I have a perfect marriage.There. I said... Read More
Personalized wedding favors are among the most popular of gift... Read More
For many centuries wedding favors have been a part of... Read More
Healthy marriages require time, attention, energy, and vigilance. It's not... Read More
Biologically, a coupling between male and female (with some very... Read More
There are many things to remember in preparation for your... Read More
Your true love got down on his knees and asked... Read More
Jealousy has often been called the "green-eyed monster," and with... Read More
If there are wedding bells in your future, then surely... Read More
Celebrating under the attentive care of Bahamas honeymoon resorts, there... Read More
The kids are yelling, the dog is barking, and you... Read More
If you've always dreamed of flying in a helicopter, Las... Read More
Your wedding day, what is presumed to be the happiest... Read More
Got a yen for Elvis? Lots of people do. There... Read More
Have you heard enough about the "Runaway Bride" yet? Well,... Read More
Planning a bridal shower? Maybe a dear friend or even... Read More
Your wedding invitations are your announcement to family and friends... Read More
Selecting a wedding gown is possibly one of the most... Read More
Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries.... Read More
Bridal shower games are a wonderful way to put your... Read More
So your not one of those fabulous actresses or models... Read More
So, you've just got engaged.Whether you are a man or... Read More
Perhaps the biggest worry of a bride-to-be, is picking out... Read More
Healthy marriages require time, attention, energy, and vigilance. It's not... Read More
You've found the perfect venue: old oaks, a stone wall,... Read More
Every couple has different priorities when it comes to budgeting... Read More
Recently, I stumbled across something on the internet. A particular... Read More
With the cost of today's weddings spiraling to astronomical levels,... Read More
Here are five seeds of a great marriage from grandmother.... Read More
Thanking your wedding party with special gifts is a favored... Read More
1) Write a mission statement:Most brides spend more time planning... Read More
Your wedding is supposed to be the most important day... Read More
Numerous men have pondered the questions, "Why does my wife... Read More
Following is a list of question that, I believe, can... Read More
Gatlinburg in Tennessee is the city with streets of art... Read More
Once upon a time a caveman, while out for a... Read More
Your wedding vows are the words that will forever remain... Read More
Getting Married? Congratulations! You just set the date for the... Read More
The wedding shower is a traditional party of the marriage... Read More
There are two major events that you have to plan... Read More
As couples begin thinking about their wedding, they are often... Read More
Your wedding day, what is presumed to be the happiest... Read More
Your wedding is nine months away and you decide to... Read More
Communication plays one of the most important roles in any... Read More
More and more, couples are choosing to write their own... Read More
Your success in marriage depends largely upon having sound and... Read More
A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one... Read More
The tradition of hosting a bridal shower for the bride... Read More
He ? or she ? asked, and you answered in... Read More
My husband Bill and I have just had our 37th-wedding... Read More
Tahiti honeymoon resorts are the best places you could think... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |