The Reality of Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries. Authors across the ages have explored this theme at length, and it still surfaces in literary works today. What's the appeal? Is it the fascination with the lack of lust and desire we cultivate in North American society? We strive on the element of danger, of the forbidden, while an arranged marriage is usually a safe way to ensure a family's approval of a union.

And yet, many of today's romance novels deal with marriages of convenience. We've all read them: the heroine marries the hero because she needs him, whether for financial reasons, or because her children need a father -- there are as many reasons to marry as there are novels dealing with this subject. Yet although the marriage isn't initially based on love, there's always that sensual tension simmering beneath the surface, and as readers, we know it's inevitable that the two are going to fall deeply and irrevocably in love.

But what about real life, where things don't always work out so well? Arranged marriages are commonplace in a number of countries, such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India. They're more common than you'd think even in North America, where cultural diversity is cherished and encouraged.

Young people in countries where arranged marriages are commonplace are told from an early age that their spouse will be chosen for them. To deny an arranged marriage is seen as a sign of disrespect toward the family. But how are suitable spouses chosen? In Japan, for instance, "when a woman reaches the marriageable age of 25, she and her parents compile a packet of information about her, including a photograph of her in a kimono and descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments and interests. Her parents then inquire among their friends and acquaintances to see if anyone knows a man who would be a suitable husband for her" (the Asia Society's Video Letter from Japan: My Family, 1988). Usually, the most important aspect of choosing a suitable spouse is the bond between the two families, rather than the relationship between the couple being married. Property or land with the aim of securing social status sometimes seals marriage agreements.

Do arranged marriages work? Opinions tend to differ. Statistics place the divorce rate for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love are the rule. However, research also shows that the pressure a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an option.

Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Absolutely, and in the same way that love can grow in romance novels from a marriage of convenience. But there's more to love than finding a suitable match. Love can grow for many reasons, from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over a long period of time. It's impossible to predict whether a union will be successful. The only two people who can make it work are the bride and groom, the hero and heroine of their own story.

Lacey Savage is the author of a number of sensual romance short stories, novels and novellas. Her articles and works of fiction often focus on women's issues and relationships. Find out more about Lacey at http://www.laceysavage.com

---

Marriage Advice: Upgrade Your Marriage By Changing Your Focus

As the story goes, a Cherokee elder was sitting with... Read More

Cheap Wedding Favors

Planning a wedding of any size or budget can have... Read More

Tips For A Lasting Marriage

My parents gave me this advice about marriage. They have... Read More

Weddings - Wedding Plan - Wedding Planner Tools - Ten Essential Tips

Getting Married? Congratulations! You just set the date for the... Read More

How to Have a Dream Wedding on a Budget

No one wants to pay more than they have to... Read More

How to Find The Perfect Wedding Dress

You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made... Read More

Wedding Loans ? When Wedding Bills Are Postponing the Wedding Bells

Somewhere when you least expected, you find the person who... Read More

Write An Apology To Your Spouse: How to Apologize In a Way That Really Works For You

Being apologetic doesn't come easily for me. Unfortunately, being inconsiderate... Read More

Tahiti Honeymoon Resorts: Fun-tastic Experience

Tahiti honeymoon resorts are the best places you could think... Read More

Guide to a Growing Trend: The Green or Ecological Wedding

Does it seem like the phrases "ecology" and "wedding" could... Read More

Dealing With Your Spouses Sexual Past

"Couples who've had sex before marriage will inevitably have sexual... Read More

Make Your Honeymoon an Everlasting Experience

Honeymoon is the most wonderful time of every couple's life.... Read More

Mens Wedding Bands ? A Whole World Of Choice

Mens wedding bands are an emerging phenomenon. Whilst women have... Read More

Minor But Important Duties For Your Wedding Party, Bridesmaids, and Groomsmen

Your wedding party is a major factor in the success... Read More

Wonderful White Gold Wedding Rings

The elegant and sophisticated look of glittering, gleaming gold. There's... Read More

What Happens If You Dont Wear Proper Wedding Shoes?

Here comes the bride! Walking through the alley confidence holding... Read More

The Engagement Ring Bling

How much should you spend on a diamond engagement ring?$100?$1000?How... Read More

Get a Prenuptial Agreement before Your Next Marriage

While signing a prenuptial agreement can be one of the... Read More

Anniversary Gifts and Perfumes

How many times has your anniversary come around and you... Read More

Discount Wedding Dresses ? Elegance and Style that Won?t Blow Your Budget!

If you're planning your wedding day then you'll be all... Read More

6 Ways to Save Money on Wedding Invitations

Inviting your possible guests on your wedding day can be... Read More

Choosing the Wedding Disc Jockey

Your wedding day is the day when all the details... Read More

The Brides Greatest Ally

On Friday, 1st May 1835, Mr Charles Dickens, the creator... Read More

Wedding Save the Date Cards?Best Ideas and Wording

The sole purpose of save-the-date cards is to give the... Read More

Women Sufferings and Infidelity

Her dreams of marriage and collected marriage values disintegrate when... Read More

Wedding Planning: Prioritize to Stay Within Your Wedding Budget

So you're planning your wedding and a thousand decisions must... Read More

Intimacy, What is It Really?

Simply put, intimacy is more than sex or making love.... Read More

Want to Get Married in Las Vegas?

Only in Las Vegas can you find everything for your... Read More

Mens Moissanite Wedding Rings, or Is Moissanite a Mans Best Friend?

As mens wedding rings become more and more popular mens... Read More

Wedding Speeches Made Easy: Wedding Speech or Best Mans Speech Tips

Have you ever had to give a wedding speech? As... Read More

Invitation Anatomy 101 - Optional Components - Part 2 of 3

Hopefully, you've read my prerequisite lesson "Invitation Anatomy 101 ?... Read More

Now You?re Engaged, How Do You Choose A Mens Wedding Ring?

So, you've just got engaged.Whether you are a man or... Read More

Florida Honeymoon Vacations

Celebrate your marriage by planning a Florida honeymoon vacation with... Read More