Make Sure You Do: Before You Say ?I Do?

Tina Turner asked an important question in the title of her hit song; What's Love Got To Do With It? Yes love is important but love don't pay the bills. It is not be enough to be "in love." Couples must have the basic skills necessary for building and enhancing the relationship over time. Lasting marriages require partners who are committed to respecting one another, who have gained knowledge about what makes marriage work, and who have developed skills that will enhance rather than deteriorate the relationship.

It is mind boggling that so many spend countless hours planning for the great wedding day. That's right; it is only for one day; a mere drop in the ocean of time. Here today, gone tomorrow; then what? It is just plain ignorant to spend numerous weeks and even months planning for the wedding that last a day and ignore the marriage that is expected to endure for a lifetime. It makes good sense then, to spend at least an equal amount of time preparing for married life. By reading this article, you have taken the first step toward increasing your awareness. I applaud you.

Whenever I perform a wedding ceremony, it usually includes these words:

Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him/her, forsaking all others and holding only unto him/her according to God's holy law; and thus pledge your faithfulness.

It is disconcerting that nearly half of all married couples regretted uttering those profound words and have since divorced. I believe that the most egregious mistake these couples made was not spending enough time seriously planning for a lifetime together in marriage. Though most couples do claim to take their wedding vows seriously, often what has been disregarded is really getting to know each other on a level beneath the surface.

Women, particularly, seem to approach marriage from a fantasy "happy-ever-after" mentality. We do not seem to realize that what we think we "see" is not perfect reality. And, what we think we feel is related to what we think we see. In other words, we tend to approach marriage with a distorted perception of what married life will be like. In a way, it can be analogized to an adolescent girl who always wanted a baby until she actually had one and the reality of parental responsibility ferociously slapped her in the face; or the teen young man who didn't understand that as soon as he hit adulthood, the system would relentlessly seek child support payments from him for each child he has fathered.

Keep in mind that who you marry will have a dramatic impact on all aspects of your life; spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health. Marriage is serious business and should be given serious thought. It is not optional, it is obligatory. Take a long and hard look before you leap.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries http://www.clergyservices4u.org. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Water: A Grief Healing Workbook, will be available soon.

---

Create Unique Wedding Invitations That Only Look Expensive

Save a substantial amount of money on invitations, without sacrificing... Read More

Creating A Prenuptial Agreement

Embarking upon a marriage is a wonderful time in life... Read More

Wedding Rings

Your wedding rings were meant to last a lifetime. They... Read More

Your Wedding Invitation?s in the (e)Mail: Pros and Cons of the Virtual Wedding Invitation

From purchasing the garter to choosing the photographer, brides (and... Read More

Wedding Preparations - Tips To Get You to The Church On Time

For many brides, the wedding ceremony starts long before they... Read More

Top 10 Wedding Decoration Budget Tips

When it comes to choosing your wedding decorations, you must... Read More

The Wedding Guests Guide to A Stress Free and Fun Wedding

Most brides become obsessed with throwing the perfect wedding. The... Read More

Mindfulness and Marriage: Moving Along

Marriage has to be the greatest opportunity for mindfulness on... Read More

Prenuptial Agreements

"Til death do us part" is still the language used... Read More

The Charm of Homemade Wedding Favors

Homemade wedding favors come from a centuries old tradition of... Read More

Dallas Wedding Receptions

The most important day of your life is drawing near... Read More

A Call for International Marriage Laws

I recently watched a CNN programme which centred on "kidnapped... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 9

When it came to love-making, Napoleon, that short plump bundle... Read More

11 Things to Remember in Planning Your Wedding

Every woman dreams of her own wedding. May it be... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon. Article No.2

Ah! It's the wedding night. You've cut the cake, drank... Read More

All You Ever Wanted to Know About Wedding Officiants

Tracking down a wedding officiant can be a little intimidating.... Read More

10 Secrets to a Successful Stress-Free Wedding

Your wedding is supposed to be the most important day... Read More

Get Swept Away on Your Wedding Day: Rent a Sailboat or Yacht!

For a day you'll never forget on that special occasion,... Read More

Balance - Wedding Budget Blues

Let's think about what goes into your wedding budget. Your... Read More

Wedding Anniversary Symbols

Most people are aware that significant wedding anniversaries such as... Read More

Top Wedding Fitness Questions (and their answers)

As a Personal Trainer for brides-to-be, I often get asked... Read More

Choosing A Wedding Photographer

The wedding day is the day that most women wait... Read More

Before You Begin Marriage Counseling, Ask This Question

There's an important question that you need to ask the... Read More

Creative Wedding Cards

You invitation is a reflection on the type of wedding... Read More

Wedding and Bridal Jewelry

So your not one of those fabulous actresses or models... Read More

Las Vegas Casino Weddings

If you are at all familiar with Las Vegas, you... Read More

Love on the Internet

People are looking for life-long relationships in the most peculiar... Read More

A Promise Ring- More Than Just a Pre-Engagement Ring

When one thinks of a promise ring it is common... Read More

Get Fantastic Deals on Catering for Your Wedding

When it comes to your catering services for your wedding,... Read More

Top 40 Marriage Quotations

"Is it better for a woman to marry a man... Read More

The Key to the Perfect Wedding

There are many answers to this question, it all depends... Read More

Wedding Insurance ? Peace of Mind for Your Perfect Day?

With the average cost of a wedding around £17,000 you... Read More

10 Valentines Day Tips for Spouses Who Want to Improve Their Marriage

The best and most valuable gifts are often not material... Read More