Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married

The kids are yelling, the dog is barking, and you just found out that your spouse forgot to do the one thing that you needed them to do today?again! This scenario may sound typical for your family, or your scenario could be worse. Maybe you and your spouse are arguing more and more, and connecting less and less? You may have even asked yourself, "Is this marriage a mistake?". Though you knew your life wouldn't be like the Brady Bunch, you may find yourself surprised at just how much work a marriage can be ? and its twice as hard if only one person is working at it.

If this is your situation, ask yourself why you married your spouse? I know it sounds silly, but really?why did you marry them? "Because we were in love"- well, that's the easy answer-go deeper. See, life happens?kids are born, cars breakdown, jobs are lost, and through all of the ups and downs that are inevitable, its important that you remember why you married this person.

Reflect:

  • Think of the first time you saw your spouse. What is one thing that stood out to you about them?

  • Remember one time when you were sad, angry or disappointed and your spouse really came through for you. What happened? How did it make you feel?

  • What is one thing funny thing you know about your spouse that no one else knows?

  • Think back to your single life, before you met your spouse. What was it like? Now, really think ? what is one small thing your spouse does to make you happy that you are here and not back there?

  • Remember a time when your spouse did something out of the ordinary and surprised you. What did that moment feel like?

  • Remember the first time you saw your spouse holding your child. How did that make you feel?

    Remind:

  • In a quiet time when both you and your spouse are sitting together, bring up your first date. Bring up your happiest memories of this day.

  • Think of a funny story about when you first were married ? good choices are dinners gone bad, ruined laundry, etc.

  • Talk about when you first became parents. What were your fears and hopes. Mention something positive about their parenting, and their connecting to your children.

    Renew

  • If you eat dinner infront of the TV, stop. Gather together at the table with the TV's off, so you can actually connect to your family rather than 'veg out'.

  • Be nice. Okay, sometimes that's easier said than done, but a little sweetness can go a long way. When you get up or go to another room, ask, "Can I get you anything?"

  • Be forgetful. Don't remember every little thing your spouse has done that irritates you. Sometimes we hold on to the past because it feels familiar. Its not fair to hold the past against your spouse, and its not fair for them to do it to you. If they do, lead by example. Once they see you letting go of the past, they will also. As long as they know you are holding on to the past for future fight ammunition, they will do the same.

  • Touch. Place your hand on your spouse's hand; lay your arm across their shoulders. An innocent touch can be just the softness and connection that your spouse is looking for.

  • Overlook. There is nothing gained by pointing out all of your spouse's short comings, and when they have made a mistake don't use it as an opportunity to put them down. Surprise them by 'not noticing' their mistake. No one likes to have their mistakes pointed out to them. We are all adults, and its likely that they are already aware of what they've done.

    The point is, take some time to remember why you are in this marriage, take some self control and control your end of the marriage, and take the gloves off. Your spouse is not your enemy, and remember though children are the products of marriage, they are not the glue that holds a marriage together?love is.

    Living in love with your spouse can sometimes be challenging, and that's okay- that's why the vows read for better, or for worse. With a little bit of effort on your part, and a partner that really loves you it is absolutely possible to live in love, and that is not only a great gift to yourself and your spouse. Living in love is a wonderful gift to your children.

    About The Author

    Samantha Olea is a designer, business woman, wife, and most of all Mother of 2! Samantha founded a free parenting resource at http://TheBestMoms.com hoping to help every mom be the very best mom they can be! Samantha is also the owner of her own web design, graphic design, and hosting firm at : http://getwrappedup.com and AWU Gifts: http://Gifts.GetWrappedUp.com, where she helps Moms start their own business and work from their homes.

    sam@thebestmoms.com

    In The News:

    • pen paper and inkwell


    cat break through


    Your Wedding Invitation?s in the (e)Mail: Pros and Cons of the Virtual Wedding Invitation

    From purchasing the garter to choosing the photographer, brides (and... Read More

    Get a Prenuptial Agreement before Your Next Marriage

    While signing a prenuptial agreement can be one of the... Read More

    When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations

    Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the... Read More

    A Look at Maui Wedding Cakes

    Since Maui and Hawaii in general have been blessed with... Read More

    Wedding Receiving Line Etiquette?Greeting Your Guests with Style

    Even though it's a great tradition with a long history,... Read More

    What Goes Into Wedding Preparation From Your DJ?

    Exactly what should your disc jockey be doing in the... Read More

    It?s Never Too Early to Renew Your Wedding Vows

    When you think about couples who renew their wedding vows,... Read More

    For Second Weddings Only - Eight Tips

    Planning a second wedding? Prevent favorite guests comparing your second... Read More

    Do-It-Yourself Wedding Invitation Guide

    Think creatively and add a personal touch to your special... Read More

    The Most Important Things In Marriage

    When it comes to marriage, there are things that you... Read More

    10 Common Wedding Reception Mistakes

    Every bride wants a fairytale wedding. Therefore, this article is... Read More

    How to Nurture Intimacy When Youre in a Long-Distance Marriage

    The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to... Read More

    Low Budget Wedding Reception

    The reception alone will bust your wedding budget if you're... Read More

    Love Connections - How Wonderful They Are

    I've been noticing a few things lately that a few... Read More

    Mattresses and Marriage ? a Match Made in Heaven

    Mattresses and marriage go hand in hand. Sleep is important... Read More

    Marriage: Where is the Fairy Tale?

    "Presently, 40% of all first marriages in this country end... Read More

    The Second Time - Another White Wedding?

    That first wedding was a dream, a gorgeous long white... Read More

    Focus On What Is Important ? Your Wedding Disc Jockey Choice

    Your true love got down on his knees and asked... Read More

    Top Wedding Fitness Questions (and their answers)

    As a Personal Trainer for brides-to-be, I often get asked... Read More

    Current Trends in Wedding Photography

    Wedding photography is an evolving field that requires artistic talent,... Read More

    Wedding Day Savings

    A little strategizing can go a long way when trying... Read More

    The Reality of Arranged Marriages

    Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries.... Read More

    The ?EX? Factor: Why Men and Women Over 50 Don?t Remarry!

    Thinking about remarrying? Consider these reasons why others have chosen... Read More

    Marriage Advice: Ten Ways to Add Romance to Your Marriage

    Every marriage needs a healthy dose of on-going romance to... Read More

    Wedding Invitatation RSVP Cards

    When it comes to response/RSVP cards, the goal is to... Read More

    Renewing Your Marriage Vows - On the Right Side of the Law

    Movies, sitcoms and soapies made in the United States could... Read More

    What Is A Destination Wedding Favor?

    Have you heard of destination wedding favors? I haven't either,... Read More

    Dance Music for the Wedding Reception

    The most enjoyable part of the wedding reception is the... Read More

    Wedding Centerpiece Ideas

    Everybody who has decided to marry wants their day to... Read More

    Wedding Receptions: How To Set Up The Tables

    Getting the wedding tables right can make a big difference... Read More

    Top 5 Wedding Favors and Why

    WHAT ARE THE TOP FIVE WEDDING FAVORS AND WHY?At most... Read More

    Fabulous Wedding Favors For Every Budget

    Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower,... Read More

    Wedding Favors That Embrace Nature?s Beauty

    A wedding planned in the spirit of nature provides the... Read More