How to Scare Fear Out of Your Life

A reader asks: "Many times in my life I have let fear rule me and stop me from doing something I wanted to do. Do you have any suggestions for how to handle fear?"

There are many successful strategies for dealing with fear in your life. What I'll offer you today are a variety of strategies, each of which can stand alone or can be used in conjunction with each other.

One is to realize that everyone is afraid from time to time. Some people show it. Some people don't, which makes them look like they have it all together and are never afraid.

Every teenage boy knows the fear of rejection that causes him to hang up when the girl he wants to ask for a date answers the phone.

If you will consider the situation, or any fear of rejection, from a different perspective, I believe it will give you some power over fear. When the boy makes the phone call, he starts out not having a date. If he asks and she says yes, he has gained a date. If she says no, he has what he had when he started, no date. He hasn't lost anything and he has no regrets.

That point of view can help turn fear of rejection on its head.

FEAR means

There are two acronyms for fear that I have found useful. One is that fear stands for

Forget Everything And Run.

Another is that fear stands for

False Evidence Appearing Real.

Many times our fear convinces our brains to search for evidence to support our feeling afraid. Our brains can always find evidence to support any fear.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said,

"Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain."

When it comes to facing and conquering fears, practice, practice, practice is the key. Doing little things that you fear, over and over, forces the fear to flee.

This may sound crazy, but with practice it can become a challenge, even fun.

Let's put some hands and feet on these ideas by giving you two specific techniques for conquering fear.

The first comes from Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, co-authors of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series. In their book on the power of asking, "The Aladdin Factor" (Berkley Books, $13), the authors devote an entire chapter to the conquering of fear.

One of the most useful techniques is a two-part sentence completion. The first sentence is, "When it comes to asking for what I want, I'm afraid to ..." In the second sentence, for each example in the first, change the sentence to say "I would really like to - and I scare myself by imagining ... " They key word here is imagining. Once we realize and face how we are scaring ourselves, we are well on the way to conquering our fears.

Here's another useful technique: Take a blank sheet of paper. On one side draw a timeline from birth to the present. On the timeline, mark and date all the times in your life that you have been hindered by fear.

Now turn the page over. On one end of the page write down a major dream or goal in your life, and make a list of all the steps necessary to reach that dream or goal. Turn the paper back over and look at the timeline. That's the past. You have no control over it and can't do anything about it, except learn from it. Turn the paper over and put it behind you.

On this side of the paper is your present and future. You can do plenty about your future. You, not fear, can decide how this side of the paper will look.

Finally, let's take the word fear and create an acronym that is empowering. Fear now stands for Face Each Area Repeatedly. Do this, and your fears will have to fall.

For more tips and tools for successful living, you are invited to visit Jeff Herring's ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

---

When Failure is a Gift

I wanted, for many many years, to be a mystery... Read More

Alone But Not Lonely

In today's fast paced society, we've become accustomed to filling... Read More

What Inspires You?

Have you ever thought? What inspires YOU? What is it... Read More

Do We Really Want to Be There Yet

The beauty in creation is in the process, in every... Read More

Whats Simple?

If you walk up to a stranger in the grocery... Read More

The Art of Letting Go

It has been six months since I left the corporate... Read More

Beyond the River: Kabbalahs Guidance for Our Times

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and... Read More

It Only Takes a Spark - Pass It On

Great inspiring people have influenced people in every area of... Read More

Make Life Work: Repair the Relationship with Yourself

What areas of your life are working well? Career? Finances?Relationships?... Read More

TIES that BIND

I have no idea how it started or who launched... Read More

Addicted To Her

Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 4,... Read More

Looking for a Better World - What Every Person Can Do!

Each night, when I put my head on the pillow... Read More

How to Overcome Loneliness

Nowadays the majority of people live in very large cities.... Read More

Forgiveness

"If unresolved anger is a toxin to the spirit, forgiveness... Read More

Just a Typical Teenage Boy

Judge not, lest ye be judged. ?Matthew 7:1The call was... Read More

How To Walk On The Path Of Peace (Part 2)

If you are praying daily for wisdom, for peace, a... Read More

Adages for the New Age

The old familiar adages just don't do it for me... Read More

I.Q. You Q. He, She, or It Qs.

I have, in recent years, come to believe that IQ... Read More

Spring Quotations - Top 30 Quotations About Spring Time

"Is it so small a thing To have enjoy'd the... Read More

Its Not Always About the Benjamins, Baby

Often when I receive emails from this list with folks,... Read More

Stop Trying to be Perfect

In the moment of completing a thought or action, it... Read More

Brilliant Autumn: Reaping a Bounteous Harvest

"But if in your thought you must measure time into... Read More

A Word Fitly Spoken ~ Acceptance

A WORD FITLY SPOKENA word fitly spoken is like apples... Read More

Lifetime of Discoveries: Moments of Peace and Renewal

There are discoveries all around us—small gifts of joy that... Read More

A Brick Wall

Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 18,... Read More

H-U-G-S -------The More You Give----The More You Get!

How many of us couldn't use a hug on a... Read More

Where You Can Find Sympathy

Ask any of my kids and they'll tell you immediately... Read More

Brilliance in Balance

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else;... Read More

Adversity to Victory

The following is a true story about a young friend... Read More

The Miracle of Personal Development

One day Mr. Shoaff said, "Jim, if you want to... Read More

Misery Can Eat You Alive

This is a true story about a woman I worked... Read More

Fickle Fates

Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 19,... Read More

A Prison Cell?

Do you have a goal? A focus in life? Have... Read More