Everyone Has Been Hurt...Part 2

continued.....

Then onto my teen years. My mom had a few boyfriends back then. The majority didn't like me and my brother too well, but mainly my brother, I guess it was jealousy. Some were okay others weren't. Some treated us like crap, others looked out for us. When they picked at my brother, I once again became a protector of my family and especially him. Now they had to get back at me right. What was closest to me back them? My animals. So how did one get to me? He would torture my dog, all the time, beat him, kicked him, whatever he could because he knew it hurt me and I would defend my dogs as I would family. I got punished a lot usually for sticking up for my brother. My mom would get mad because we embarrassed her and would be upset. I had a lot to say about my mom but we have since made up and I really don't want to discuss that now.

My grandparents were like a second mom and dad for me though. We ended up getting new neighbors when I turned 15 and they had a teenage son. My aunt talked my mom into letting me date him, huge mistake and I mean mistake. I had no experience with boys at all. I had a very isolated life, no boyfriends or anything up to that point. For years I didn't even really have many friends at school maybe one or two. I was too shy. I couldn't even look most people in the eye, especially if they intimidated me. I force myself to do it now though regardless. I even got fired from my first job because I couldn't look at people, when I took their order, and when my boss confronted me about messing up orders I got fired when I refused to look him in the eye. Now back to the guy.

My mom gave in and let me date him. He was my first everything, and I do mean everything. Her never ever pressured me into having sex, but I was so naive I thought if I did we would get married and live happily ever after. I was way to innocent. I finally gave into him, in the back seat of his car, in the middle of a ball field. A month later he broke up with me and went back to his ex girlfriend. I was devastated I was completely heartbroken. Nobody knew about us and everyone began to wonder why I had so suddenly become so angry. I was angry with everyone and life in general. I was ashamed and completely pissed off It didn't help that he lived next door and I got to watch him and his girlfriend together on a daily basis either.

The next guy I dated , well we ended up dating for at least a year maybe two. . he cheated on me constantly. He cheated on me as much as I changed clothes and that was a lot.. I also got in a lot of trouble with him. I ended up running away from home. He ended up getting arrested when my mom found out I was having sex with him. My mom was going to send me to a girl's home but my oldest sister stepped in and stopped it. That was with the help of her(Mom's) new boyfriend, now husband. I ended up going to my cousin's house for about a month maybe a little less.

Now I was the rebel, the black sheep of the family. I was forbidden to see the guy anymore, but I snuck around and saw him anyways. My mom became afraid of me, and I felt like I finally had some control over my life. In reality I was more out of control then, than I ever had been. My anger was to the extreme. I would literally fly into rages and I cared about nothing and noone. I had, had my taste of men and If they could play I could too. Boy did I play. I never did sleep with a bunch of guys, no I felt I was to good for that, but I did have a few boyfriends and I learned to play games. I stayed with some of these guys for awhile a year here or there. I did hurt a lot of those guys. I did it intentionally too at times. I have since tried to make up for that, some of them I am friends with now, but I did play people and I am not proud of that.

Vaughn Pascal

---

Its Better to Give than to Receive

"It's better to give than to receive." You've probably heard... Read More

From The Ashes

The man plopped down on his chair, defeated.His father's maxims... Read More

Healing The Abandonment Wounds

I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for... Read More

The Power of Gratitude

When my older son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More

Why Are We So Lost? The Journey Home

Did you ever wonder how you ended up where you... Read More

The One Thing You Really Want

There is one thing you want...My guess is you want... Read More

Anam Cara - Finding a Song for the Heart

All this week I have been singing.This week I have... Read More

Have a Green Day, Every Day!

Green symbolises growth. Growth requires change and transformation. This article... Read More

Life Is Worthwhile If You

(Excerpted from the Jim Rohn Two Day Weekend event -... Read More

Clicking to Good Vibrations!

Recently my dad visited me in Victoria, BC. He is... Read More

Put To The Sword

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 23,... Read More

Adages for the New Age

The old familiar adages just don't do it for me... Read More

Energy Work Basics Part 4: Imagine!

Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge".Did you know... Read More

He Who Laughs...Lasts---Where Has All The Laughter Gone?

I love to watch people at airports, malls and even... Read More

Quotable Quotes Are Nothing More Than Flowery Words

Quotable quotes are nothing more than flowery words... And anyone... Read More

Are You Really Living Your Life Today!

Yesterday I was but a child, looking. Looking ahead at... Read More

The True and Magnificent Power of Giving

You've probably heard of the popular saying "It's better to... Read More

Aftermath of a Child?s Near Death Experience

An 18 month-old girl lay dying of diphtheria in January... Read More

Each Moment Is To Be Treasured

Let us grasp and treasure each precious moment of our... Read More

My name is Smarty Jones -- Embracing Gods Glory

Our deepest fear us not that we are inadequate. Our... Read More

Helen Keller: A Teller and a Seller

What are the odds of someone doing extraordinary things if... Read More

Tsunamis in the Bible?

I have always wondered how the Red Sea parted as... Read More

Those Who Sleep Get Sliced

Chang lived in Flushing, Queens. Every afternoon he rode the... Read More

Freudian Slip

Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 17,... Read More

Surefire Ways to Develop a Thankful Attitude

Spend some time thinking about how good you have it.... Read More

Repeat Offender

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 8,... Read More

Planning for the Unexpected

Unfortunately, most people fail to plan until it is too... Read More

The Right Approach

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 9,... Read More

Begin With the End In Mind - Tips to Make Your Life More Meaningful

What would you change if you knew you would be... Read More

FEAR Don?t Let it Control You!

Fear. What is it? Can you touch it? Can you... Read More

Practice Being Like a Child

Remember the master teacher once said 2000 years ago, "Unless... Read More

Tending the Fire

In old buildings there was a boiler room where men... Read More

True Inner Guidance

It's easy to tell the difference between true inner guidance... Read More