Mexican Living: Issues of Life

This morning when I got out of bed, I had some severe issues that have been worrying me.

Friends and family wonder just what I do all day as an American Expatriate. I worry and I am good at it. So I thought I would share with you the life-shattering issues that worry me as an American Expatriate and that have been worrying me to no end.

Worry One: The Rainy Season. The rainy season is almost on us. We have about 6 weeks before all raining hell cuts loose on Guanajuato. So I have to plan just what am I going to do for fun and diversion while it's raining outside and I cannot get out.

I will have to lay in a supply of extra hand towels to pack into the windows. You may not know this but all houses in Guanajuato leak like sieves and you have to stand vigil-day and night-over them when it rains. There is also the waterproofing plastic tape I will need to buy that I use to tape the small pinholes that spring up when I least expect it around the windows frames.

Guanajuato house builders do not build windows well.

My wife and I will also go about, in the next few weeks, checking out about 4,000 new books from the English lending library here so we have something to do between running from window to window checking for leaks.

We plan to do much more writing because that's what we do and because our eyes will be swollen and ready to pop out of our heads from reading all of those books.

Worry Two: My infertile male parakeet. Don't laugh at this. He isn't. We raise Australian parakeets. It is a hobby we had when we lived in the States and have engaged in it afresh here in Guanajuato. We have a male parakeet that is having some difficulty getting his point across to the female-if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Poor Chucho.

We put him with an experienced female who has had two clutches with another male so we know it isn't her. We've tried Chucho with two hens and alas, he isn't getting the hang of things. He tries with all his little parakeet heart but the eggs, which the hen lays, turns out to be no good.

What are we to do?

I wonder if there is parakeet Viagra that we can sprinkle on his food. I've tried talking with him but that doesn't do any good. We coach him and though things look like he's dead-on center during "the process," it's a no-go with infertile eggs.

Are there sex therapists for parakeets? Is he frustrated? Is the hen frustrated? Am I frustrated? Yes, I am!

Worry Three: My two Mexican parakeets. We also have a pair of what we were told are "Mexican parakeets." However, no one, and I mean no one, in Mexico knows what species these birds are.

We hit the Internet and corresponded with a parrot biologist who specializes in the parrots of Mexico. I sent him some pictures and according to this expert, these are NOT Mexican parakeets at all but illegally smuggled Brown-Throated Conures from St. Thomas Island.

Oh that's just great.

We have these two birds, Rickie and Lucy, who are HOT and probably would get me at least 10 years in a Mexican prison bunking with someone named, Bubbito (that's Spanish for Bubba).

We can't unload them because they are our sweet babies and it would traumatize them (and me) to dump them. I won't do it.

I wonder if Bubbito likes chocolate?

So there you have it. I do not lead a life of uncomplicated leisure here in Mexico. I have grave worries and concerns that fill my life with worrisome vexations.

Maybe Chucho needs sex-ed classes?

Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico.

His new book, Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country, can be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241

---

The Five Feng Shui Elements and Their Characteristics

Feng shui handles five main elements in order to achieve... Read More

Cosmic Cow

The cow is a mother to mankind whom we should... Read More

Mexican Living: Myth Busting

Myth One: Mexicans are lazy, good-for-nothings.I mention this one first... Read More

Spain´s Flag - A Red And Yellow Beauty

Spain´s flag (the national one) is as colorful as the... Read More

Opal Jewelry -- Your Own Personal Piece of Rainbow

Opal is a magnificent gemstone whose shades encompass virtually every... Read More

A Brief Biography of Rene Boissevain the Agate Adventurer and Creator of The Crystal Caves Museum

In 1964 myself (René), Nelleke my wife, and our daughter... Read More

Precious Stones ? The Big Five - Part 3 The Sapphire

The sapphire, protector of the innocent, celestial guardian of truth,... Read More

The Contingencies of Despair: How Existentialists Survive

~ Dread is dizziness unto freedom-freedom that gazes down into... Read More

The Birth Of Eskimo Inuit Art Prints

Unlike Inuit sculpture, art prints from the Canadian Arctic are... Read More

Ludlow Festival

His plays and adaptations have been performed in many countries... Read More

Insider Tips to Quadruple Your Art Show Sales

At a recent art show, I could not help but... Read More

Personal Protection Specialists and Celebrity Stalking

Celebrity stalking has become the way for the socially inept... Read More

Family, Incest, and Law

Family Values in Ancient Times:Many people of the present make... Read More

Ogham and Aymara

OGHAM:As any reader of my work knows by now, Ogham... Read More

Precious Stones v.s. Semi-Precious Stones

Stones have been worn by both women and men since... Read More

Marcus Garvey: A Symbol for Black Nationalism

My first kid's father named my son Marcus after legendary... Read More

A Hidden Oriental Jewel: 100% Chinese Hand-Made Silk Embroidery

IntroductionDo you know what "silk embroidery is? Do you know... Read More

The Nos Feratu

The Caduceus has the pine cone representing the Pineal Gland... Read More

Sir Francis Drake

FRANCIS DRAKE: - It is my perspective that history has... Read More

The Life of Nikola Tesla - Intro

It is not my purpose to claim to know all... Read More

How Many Chinese Characters Are There?

Let's trace the number of Chinese characters from Han Dynasty... Read More

Astrology : A Science or Superstition?

Human beings have always been curious to know their future.... Read More

Shadows Boxing

Towards the end of Million Dollar Baby the character Scraps,... Read More

The History of Body Piercings - Ancient and Fascinating Around the World

Body piercings have seen a resurgence of interest in the... Read More

Game Theory - What Do Game Theory and Improv Theater Have in Common?

"Game" TheoryThis article was inspired by Mick Napier's book ?Improvise:... Read More

Rules of Noble Succession

Let me first say that the rules of noble succession,... Read More

Lance Armstrong Bracelets: Fashion Accessories for a Worthy Cause

Lance Armstrong bracelets, the yellow rubber wrist bands inscribed with... Read More

Human Cultural Evolution

If we think about it at this juncture, clearly there... Read More

The Masked Fool

The FoolMy first direct experience of the fool in masking... Read More

King Tuts Tomb was No Better - Found in America

Between 603 and 702 AD. a truly marvelous temple was... Read More

Flows of Civilization; Views from a Think Tank

Over the past few years we have been discussing many... Read More

Are You Embarassed by Your Civil War Uniform Impression?

"Authentic," "authentic," "authentic" is all you hear if you are... Read More

Inuit Drum Dancing Of The Arctic

Like many other aboriginal cultures around the world, the Inuit... Read More