Good Questions, good Answers; Bad Questions, Bad Replies

I'm convinced that asking the right questions is one of the most important skills you need to become a successful business person. Questions have the power to direct you or to distort you. The right kind of questions will direct you to success the wrong kind of questions will direct you to bankruptcy.

Let me ask you a question, have you ever realized how often people ask questions? Why is that the case? Well, we usually ask questions when we need an answer. And we usually need answers when we want to make a decision.

Every decision-making process can be described as a process of questions and answers.Our brain constantly asks questions. Every single moment our brain evaluates. It evaluates every situation asking two basic questions. Does what happens mean pain or pleasure and, if it means pain, how can I avoid it? Given we allow ourselves to look at our brain as a part of us, we constantly ask questions and make decisions based on the answers.

Some of the questions we ask our brain are little bit more complex but nevertheless our brain is used to give answers. In fact,it will come always up with an answer. What ever you ask yourself you will get an answer. Even if you get the answer " I don't know".

I want you to think a little bit about this. It pretty much shows what I mean when I say that we are in control about our brain. If some part of my brain, usually named the conscious, asks a question, some other part of the brain, usually named the unconscious, always comes up with an answer. Isn't that a fascinating experience? Whatever you ask yourself, your brain will deliver an answer. Ask and ye shall get an answer.

If you ask yourself " why do I always fail?", you can be sure your brain comes up with an answer. It will look inside all the memories you have if there is some kind of pattern that could explain why you always fail.

If you're lucky, your brain comes up with another question like " how do you know you will always fail?" But most of the time, especially if our brain is not trained to talk back, it will come up with the best reason it can find why you fail.

The problem is that your question implies a fact that is wrong. You do not always fail, in fact failing is a generalization, something that means different things to different people. Because your brain is so obedient to you (you control it through your questions), it comes up with an answer, even if the answer is less than validated or simply wrong.

If you ask yoursself "Why am I not successful" your brain is not going to question that belief of yours. It simply looks for an answer.

If you ask yourself "Why am I so ugly" your brain does not try to convince you that you are beautiful or starts a philosophical dialog about beauty. It just comes up with an answer; like "because you eat to much", or something similar. Asking the wrong questions can really be devastating.

Can you see what I mean when I state that good questions are so important for success?

If you ask yourself the wrong questions you get an answer, but you get the wrong answer. You get an answer that limits you rather than empowers you. There are certain types of questions that tend to be limiting, and there are certain types of questions that tend to be empowering.

First of all always try to ask open questions. What is an open question? Basically, an open question is a question that cannot be answered with yes or no.

Open questions help a conversation going on, be it with yourself or with others. Here are some open questions and its closed equivalent.

"Do you like soccer?" "Yes." Better is "What do you think about soccer?" Now there's something to say.

"Are you guilty?" "Nope." "How can't you convince me you are not guilty?" Now you are in trouble. -By the way, that is an example on how to imply the napolean law on others. You don't know what the napolean law is? "You are guilty unless you proof your innocence".

I think you've got the point. If you want to have a conversation, a dialog, whether with yourself or others try to ask open questions.

When it comes to decisions there is a set of questions that quickly lead into trouble. These are the questions that start with the word "why".

Why-questions ask for a cause and answers of why-questions usually evoke the word 'because (be-cause)' in the answer.

"Why did hit your head against the wall?" "Because I was paying no attention."

"Why are all against me?" "Because you are a to weak to respond"

"Why is everybody successful but me?" "Because you are illiterate."

Got the pattern here? Why questions ask for a cause. The problem is twofold.

First, knowing the cause of a problem is not the solution but only tells you something about the past. Second, because your brain wants to come up with an answer, the cause it presents you might be less than right and heavily shaped by your beliefs rather than facts.

If you really seek trouble, go for why-questions. They are great for supervisors as well. "Why is that letter still not written?", "Why are you always late?", "Why is the coffee machine broken". All these questions have the potential to start a nice little conflict.

Let's try to rephrase them in a way to open solutions. "What has to happen to get that letter out by today?" Great, now we have opened the question to look for a path to success.

"You could have someone else write it", "You could have someone else type in those numbers, so I am free to write it",

"You could brew your coffee by yourself, so I have time to write it" and the list can be expanded on and on.

You see how asking different questions get different results?

If you want to start an empowering thought process that has the power to change things, ask questions that start with the word how or what.

Not "Why didn't we meet the revenue goal last year?", but "How can we ensure we meet the revenue goal this year?".

Not "Why do i never succeed?", but "What has to happen for me to feel I am a success?"

You can see how the how- and what-questions all of a sudden turn the focus from the past, which is gone anyway, to the future, the solution.

Powerful questions are always focused on the future, the process, the outcome. Limiting questions are always focused on the past.

Start asking yourself and others powerful questions and you get answers that shape the future the way you want it. Keep going to ask limiting questions and you stay where you always been.

Let me ask you a question? What would it take for you to start changing now?

This article may published freely only in its whole including all appendices.

© 2005 by Norbert Haag

A complimentary copy of any newsletter or a link to the site where the article is posted is greatly appreciated. Online Business Coach (http://www.onlinebusinesscoach.com)

Norbert Haag is a business consultant, entrepreneur and sought after speaker for more than 20 years.

His company - Online Business Coach http://www.onlinebusinesscoach.com - provides information and services for online businesses, small business owners and freelancers.

You can reach Norbert at nhaag@onlinebusinesscoach.com.

---

The Role of Statistics in Prospect Modeling

Identifying prospects has come a long way since the days... Read More

Securing Second and Third-round Venture Capital Financing

Widget sales are booming ? the competition is scrambling, demand... Read More

10 Essential Tips for Starting Entrepreneurs - Ignore these at your Peril!

1. Do What You LOVE: If you've chosen your business... Read More

Could a Non-Profit Structure Be Right for Your Business?

If you have a business idea, or an idea for... Read More

How To Find Hot Online Business Ideas

Would you like to find the key that unlocks the... Read More

Solo Mojo for Solo Entrepreneurs --- Where?s Your Juice?

I recently read a magazine article about Andrew, a 42-year... Read More

Before Getting A Franchise

Buying into a franchise is a great way to be... Read More

How To Find Focus And Turn Your Talent Into A Thriving Professional Business

There are tons of books and articles available to help... Read More

Business Is No Guarantee of Riches

Q: I'm thinking about starting a business since that seems... Read More

10 Secrets of Successful Entrepreneurs

Running a one-person business is a creative, flexible and challenging... Read More

The Visionary Entrepreneur

Any success you have in life must begin with a... Read More

When Your Business Feels Like an Arranged Marriage

Q. I was laid off six months ago. Jobs in... Read More

Entrepreneurship: Insight and Closer Look At The Entrepreneur

Life as an entrepreneur is the American Dream. To be... Read More

Are You an Entrepreneur That is Starved for Time?

Being an entrepreneur and running a successful home-based business is... Read More

Selecting a Venture

The basic rule is simple: "Find a market need and... Read More

Street Smarts Vs Book Smarts, What Does It Takes To Be An Entrepreneur

The latest series in "The Apprentice" features 2 distinct group... Read More

Be Where the Pucks Going To Be

The "Great One" said it bestHockey legend Wayne Gretzky, when... Read More

Questions For The Entrepreneur To Be

Entrepreneurial e-gnorancePart 1: Questions for the entrepreneur to beIf you... Read More

Herb Filled Pillows Make Over a Million Dollars

Lauren Rosenstadt was a single mom working at a herbcompany... Read More

The Business Leader as Ultramarathoner

Have you ever heard of an ultramarathon? A standard marathon... Read More

Focus is the Key to a Successful Startup

The definition of a startup means you have very few... Read More

Adding a Service After You Buy a Business

When you buy a business, you should have a plan.... Read More

What Part of Handwriting on the Wall Dont You Understand - They Dont Hire People Over 50

In a recent talk to the Detroit Economic Club, President... Read More

Financial Strategies for Transitioning from Salaried to Solo

7 Financial Strategies for Transitioning from Salaried to SoloA 40's... Read More

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Isn't enthusiasm a good thing? Aren't we urged to be... Read More

Defining a R&D Framework for Entrepreneurship and Innovation on Information Product Generation

IntroductionKnowledge is the key resource that forms the institutional basis... Read More

Will Your Business Survive Without You?

I had a health scare in December.As it turns out,... Read More

Motivation and Commitment

Why do people start small businesses? The most frequently cited... Read More

Double Your Income Automatically

It is a common known fact that it is far... Read More

How Much Risk is Necessary to Grow Your Business?

A business owner is thoroughly responsible for their own financial... Read More

Have You Been Thinking About Owning Your Own Business? Or Becoming An Entrepreneur? Part 1

Almost every day, I talk with people who want to... Read More

The 7 Major Reasons Businesses Fail and How to Overcome Them

This year, over 800,000 of the approximately 2,000,000 start up... Read More

Starting Your Business: It All Boils Down To Making Money and Saving Money

Bootstrapping in the context of business start-ups refers to the... Read More