Cut Cupid Some Slack

Valentine's Day!

What a great idea to set aside a day for remembering those we love. It's even more than just remembering; it's romancing.

But it is also a holiday that many dread.

Because of the romantic tradition of this holiday, many hearts feel isolated, alone and left out. Many dread it so much, that they will not even venture out to a restaurant or movie on this day that seems to be set-aside for lovers.

Why are so many people alone?

Why are Cupid's arrows not landing?

While I don't feel I have satisfactory answers to these questions, I would like to share a few perspectives here for us all to ponder. Agree or disagree, perhaps these insights can be helpful.

Let's take a look at a few of the arrows many ask to be shot from Cupid's arsenal and see if this helps us understand this dilemma a little better.

Arrow 1 - The Bulls-Eye Arrow

With this arrow, Cupid is asked to hit dead center of the bulls-eye. This is what I call the must-be-perfect-to-be-my-love-interest arrow.

Is it at all possible that the perfection sought by many in relationships is only a mirage? Is it possible that the lofty dreams of relationship bliss that leaves one soaring away on clouds of romance and splendor to live happily ever after is only that, dreams?

While I am not at all suggesting significant differences aren't valid concerns, there comes a time in this world of imperfections and human imperfections that one has to decide if they are going to keep the ideal and give up the person or keep the person and give up the ideal.

I'm so glad my wife chose to give up the ideal and keep the person!

Arrow 2 - The Flaming Arrow

Leading with the body! Body Heat. The fires of passion and sex!

Leading with the body seems to be the perspective of many in their approach to dating and relationship building these days. How many relationships have sizzled out due to a premature embracing of sexual desires?

These arrows from Cupid's arsenal often burn out before they hit their mark.

The question we like to ask is: Is the heartbeat of relationships found more in "Being Wanted for a Night of a Lifetime" or in "Being Wanted for a Lifetime of Nights"?

Love for a night is easy. It's biological! Love for a Lifetime of Nights is something else all together. We believe it's what we were made for.

The point I am trying to make here is when one leads with the body, don't be surprised when the flaming arrow burns out before anything of depth and substance develops.

Arrow 3 - The Shot-In-The-Dark Arrow

You see this arrow being used so often in reality shows.

I find it interesting how couples try to get together based on feelings, a selection of friends and family members or through the dictates of a national television audience. Often, in this scenario, very little time is really spent getting to know one another.

Love is so much more than an attraction. It is so much more than a feeling. It is even so much more than physical desire. Love isn't blind! It has as a foundation the building blocks of likeability. It is feelings of love ignited by the flames of likeability.

You can't just ask yourself if you are in love! You must ask yourself if you are in like.

It's not that you like "how they make you feel". It's not that you like having something to do when they're around. It's not even that you like your life more with them than you do without them. What really matters is that you like the person they are.

This takes getting to know one another.

An arrow shot in the dark is going to have difficulty finding a target.

So, the next time you find yourself lonely and alone, cut Cupid some slack and you just may want to look into what arrows you are requiring released from Cupid's arsenal.

(C)Copyright 2004 advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com

All Rights Reserved!

Stanley J. Leffew is the Author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime". His website is based on this same theme. Find out for yourself why feeding desire and leading-with-the-body in life and relationships fails to satisfy the longing of the heart to connect by visiting http://advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com

---

Teen Dating, Things To Think About

Are you a teen who is dating? Are you a... Read More

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?

You've hung out in bars, you've answered the personals, you've... Read More

Should You Consider an Internet Romance?

Carly's quest in finding a suitable partner for marriage seemed... Read More

How to Create A Romantic Dinner for Two on a Pontoon Boat

Before you pick up the phone to make reservations for... Read More

Find Reputable Internet Dating Services That Want To Earn Your Trust

Internet dating services are popping up online like dandelions in... Read More

Basic SMS Tips for Picking Up the Women of Your Dreams

I don't know if the craze of SMS has caught... Read More

Does Online Dating Work?

Dating Online is currently the Internets biggest craze, and its... Read More

3 Reasons Why Inner Game Will Help Your Love Life

What Does `Inner Game` Mean?`Inner Game` is what we call... Read More

Got a Blind Date Right Around the Corner?

Got a case of the blind date? Oh yes we... Read More

Online Dating Safety

Online dating safety warning signs.Online dating is a brilliant and... Read More

Meeting Women: Surefire Spots To Get Dates

The first thing I want to do immediately is to... Read More

Fatal Flaws- How to Have a Happy Relationship and Keep Your Values Intact

If you are knee deep in trying to find a... Read More

The Most Important Question to Ask on a First Date

First dates can be pretty daunting experiences, but they can... Read More

How to Get a Girl to Like You

We've all had that special woman in our lives. You... Read More

Still Single for the Holidays? Lucky You!

Oh, no! Christmas, Hanukah, and New Year's Eve are coming,... Read More

The Train Is Coming

"There is a time for everything, and a season for... Read More

The Truth About Women Revealed

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to... Read More

Christian Singles: Questions To Keep Your Spirit Alive

With special events like Valentine's Day coming and going each... Read More

Overcoming Your Nervousness About Talking to Women

Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has... Read More

Faster, Cheaper, Better ­ P2P Online Dating Software

There is one thing we all know for certain when... Read More

The Dating Game

With all the websites on the Internet that offer a... Read More

Online Dating Makes Searching For a Partner Fun

Some have said that online dating is an impersonal relationship.... Read More

How to Flirt and Never Get Rejected!

When it comes to flirting, you can get your point... Read More

Donald Trump and the Apprentice Rules Applied to Dating

I was reading an article about the Apprentice and some... Read More

Inexpensive Dating Ideas

Dating and saving money. For many, the two concepts don't... Read More

Six Things Every Christian Single Should Know Before Dating Online (Part Two)

In part one, we looked at the importance of remaining... Read More

5 Signs Why He Wont Leave His Wife

LadiesYes, we all have a friend who is or has... Read More

What are Seduction Lairs?

Are you familiar with Seduction Lairs and how to use... Read More

The Dating Game

Why is it some people look at dating as a... Read More

The Right Dating Strategy

So, you have decided to do it. Get out there... Read More

Internet Dating - Its Not For Geeks

Six months ago an old school friend and I were... Read More

Adult Dating: Friend or Foe - Your Sex Life and the Internet!

There was a time when finding a date, partner, lover... Read More

First Date ? Tips for Men

You are on your way to your first date with... Read More