Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell recently starred in the movie version of the 1960s TV sitcom "Bewitched." For those of you who missed the movie or are too young to remember the TV show, here is the basic plot:
Samantha Stevens is the wife who looks like a regular woman, but is in fact a nice witch, able to wiggle her nose and create any object, situation, or person she desires. Darren Stevens is a somewhat nerdy architect who tries to get his wife to not use her abilities and act normal. Mayhem and laughter ensue.
As a little kid back in the late 60s, I wondered what in the world could be wrong with Darren.
Here was a guy who could have anything he ever wanted because of the gifts of his wife, and all he could do was try to get her not to use her gifts and "be normal."
Even as a little kid, I knew this guy had to be some special kind of idiot.
The entire situation reminds me of one of my favorite quotes about marriage:
"When you marry, you don't marry one person, you marry three. The person you think they are, the person they really are, and the person they will become as a result of marrying you."
One of the purposes of marriage is to help the other person grow into the best possible version of themselves.
Yet I believe we all too often do just the opposite and act just like Darren Stevens.
How to be a Darren
In a word, lousy. This is a great way to create distance in a relationship. You will also prevent your relationship from reaching it's full potential. If you have kids, it's a horrible model for how to treat someone you supposedly love and an equally horrible model for how to do relationships and marriage.
You have been a very poor influence on your partner. At best, you have a very fertile breeding ground for resentment. At worst, you have a breakup looking for a place to happen.
How to do much better than Darren
Become a student of your partner. Make it your assignment to know this one person very well.
Then use your database. Most couples who have been together for any length of time actually know each other quite well if they stop to thing about it. Most couples just don't use what they know in a positive way.
Celebrate the gifts of your partner. Encourage them in their gifts. Support them in discovering and exploring their gifts and skills.
Take advantage of the information available today about how to do relationships. Visit www.secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips.
Brag about your partner to others.
Tell your partner, often and in detail, what you admire in them.
Results
A great place to come home to. A great model for your children, and to others, about how to do marriage and relationships. Richard Bach, in his book "The Bridge Across Forever" talks of a kind of relationship in which you are better off and stronger together than you would be alone. When you support and lift up your partner, you are creating a relationship where you are stronger together than either of you would be alone.
In which situation would you prefer to live?
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|


Years ago no matter where I lived, whether a house... Read More
One of the biggest myths to evolve in the growing... Read More
One of my favorite movies is "The Green Mile". A... Read More
"Spirit is beyond the void of space. This realm, beyond... Read More
Many of our great religions hold that numbers contain hidden... Read More
In the early 90's I had a spontaneous Kundalini Awakening... Read More
In my yard are quarter-circles of grass growing taller than... Read More
I do not want curiosity seekers, who come for a... Read More
When I was a child, I thought as a child,... Read More
There is power in meanings of the old images and... Read More
Though closely akin and sometimes used synonymously, John Rawls distinguish... Read More
Uh, oh. I'm in trouble now. I found God. Now... Read More
Whenever we have the opportunity to make human assessments, the... Read More
Spiritual healing of the sick in Christ has many Christians... Read More
The Mystical Experience"The mysteries of life become lucid ? and... Read More
(Channelled)The greatest gift you can give me, is to acknowledge... Read More
1. The name Michael means, "Who is like God". In... Read More
I want to share with you something that happened to... Read More
The Emmaus Journal What is Wrong With Being Common? This... Read More
Now, we all know that we shouldn't be lead by... Read More
Most forms of psychotherapy I know either tries to help... Read More
Ok, let's start with the amazing story of Robbie and... Read More
After first seeing my photography, people... Read More
Lately I have become aware of a new truth that... Read More
Most of our troubles are bought about by exercising our... Read More
Most of us think of what a wonderful world this... Read More
In my work with clients who have physical illnesses there... Read More
Part Two ContinuedIn addition to numerous philosophical problems relating to... Read More
The 'As Above, So Below' law that is the combination... Read More
A few men and women are universally successful but such... Read More
When King David was old and well advanced in years?... Read More
As Christian's we are often very independent. We try to... Read More
There are many different and interchangeable terms that are used... Read More


What does it mean to be comfortable in your own... Read More
â??Now is the time for all good men to come... Read More
A magnificent source of life insurance and it's FREE. You... Read More
"Everything in the universe is a pitcher brimming with wisdom... Read More
We desire to understand the world by giving names to... Read More
Among those arriving to the stadium early were two old... Read More
What does the story of your life say about you?... Read More
Sometimes you have to see something to believe it. Like... Read More
Before the movie "Finding Nemo", came out Steve Jobs the... Read More
If you would like to learn to read tarot cards,... Read More
'O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom... Read More
We know that David did much to stabilize the Kingdom... Read More
In Corrogue, Celtic mythology helps me live a wonderful life.As... Read More
On one side there is a dark cloud. It is... Read More
One of my favorite movies is "The Green Mile". A... Read More
I find myself floating on a cloud as heavenly music... Read More
Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me,... Read More
There are no better people to be around than those... Read More
... Read More
What is the true nature of any illness? Research in... Read More
Is life challenging you to take a bigger leap? Are... Read More
It is important and necessary that we regularly spend time... Read More
One of the saddest times in any child's life is... Read More
Vanity - it's easy to mask, easy to forget, and... Read More
Why do bad things happen to good people? Surely this... Read More
In our fast paced society we often want everything done... Read More
"This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as... Read More
Many of us have been taught that it is wrong... Read More
"Who being in the very nature God, did not consider... Read More
As I sat down today to write this article, I... Read More
It is my personal view that the reason we call... Read More
Being"You have taken yourself to be something that you are... Read More
Being a Christian does not exempt us from having to... Read More
Spirituality |