Operation Closet

When the wife comes to you one fine day and says, "dear, I think we need a new closet for the bedroom", the heart surges in joy. Immediate thoughts of grabbing the coat and rushing off on a mission to the nearest DIY center enters the mind before realization dawns that first must come a shower and then work. Thursday today, Saturday would be best! A whole day of fun and joy to look forwards to! "Yes dear", you say casually, "I will get the car out on Saturday and look for something nice".

What a shame it was not Saturday when she had told you this. That would have meant immediate action. But this way you have two whole days to plan and work on OPERATION CLOSET. Two days to think about where to search for the perfect piece in all of the hundreds of shops surrounding your town. Two whole days to dream about buying this closet, taking it back home and assembling it and afterwards proudly displaying the finished product to a proud and satisfied Wife.

Saturday seems ever so far away. Sleep becomes impossible as the day draws near and the happy thoughts of OPERATION CLOSET, the fun and the happiness that goes with building ones own furniture is soon to become reality. Ah, come on and hurry up Saturday!

Eventually the day arrives and out of bed you jump, eager to be on the road and out on the Search. Eager to return with your purchase and to be deeply involved in its construction, eager to be surrounded by the endless panels and screws and eager to see a creation come to life. Yep, it is Saturday and "happy" day. The Wife's attempt to ruin all by suggesting that you buy an already assembled closet and using a past occasion as reason for this (when you had assembled the Kitchen Dining Table and stuck a screwdriver through your foot) are ignored and you stick by your guns. A DIY closet must be purchased as a DIY closet can fit in the car and is cheaper; a pre-assembled closet would cost more and have to be brought back home by a delivery company. "NO, DIY it will be", you say with authority and stamp out the house on the start of your mission before the wife can lay other obstacles in your path.

As you get into the car the Wife shouts after you, "I'll be out all day, try and get it all finished before my parents come this evening will you"?

Freedom and on the road at last. After much searching around the various shops and comparing prices you soon have the perfect unit balanced across the back of the car and are winging your way back home. Part one complete. Part two coming up.

Back at the house you gleefully bring the whole box of panels and associated bits into the bedroom, having previously made a space for it and removed the old closet out of harms way. So you have space and the various sections to be made into something usable. All that is required now are some tools and a cup of coffee. Downstairs for the toolbox, into the kitchen for the hot cup of coffee and back upstairs it is. NB: Must clean up the coffee spill on the stair carpet before the family return.

Okay, everything is in order, coffee at hand and you are all alone to enjoy life at its best. First of all you sit there just soaking up the atmosphere and considering changing jobs to that of a Test Engineer at a furniture factory, then you make your first move of laying out the essential tools in a neat row along the floor by the door. A screwdriver, a sharp knife, a hammer, a tape measure and another screwdriver all placed neatly and ready for use. Next you use the sharp knife to open up the box and smile at the sight of all that wood! Laying out the panels in order you slowly empty the box until nothing is left, sitting back and grinning from ear to ear at the sight around you, now that phase two has been completed.

But wait! Something is missing! You search around desperately for the assembly diagram, the one that should have been stuck inside the box, under the wood or in the bag of hinges and screws. It must be somewhere and you search again, looking in the car, under the wood, in the box and in the kitchen ? anywhere that it might be. Calm down, you tell yourself, phone the company ask them if they have a new one or spare one or maybe it fell out at the shop. After a few phone calls' you sit back in total despair. The lady at the shop had kindly said "have you looked in the box"? And the lady at the factory condescendingly said, "oh no, we don't include diagrams with our latest range".

NO DIAGRAM? What do you mean NO DIAGRAM?

All is not that bad. Gaining second wind and laughing at yourself for the panic you go back upstairs convincing yourself that it can not be that difficult. A couple of shelves, a back and a front and some sides' that is all there is to building this up. What could be easier than that? You are now convinced that all will be easy and back to work you go with gusto and renewed energy! All you have to do is to arrange the separate pieces into order of place and work from there. Find the back, the bottom and two sides and then screw them together. After that, well, just fit the doors and "bobs your uncle".

Seven hours it takes you. Seven hours of head scratching, sweating nervousness that the wife should return early and of seriously considering running out and buying a pre-assembled unit. Seven hours of puzzlement about why no panels are of the same size, why the floor is three inches shorter than the top and why there are not enough screws for the job. Seven hours of panic and heartburn as you precariously balance on one foot, holding one side up with your elbow and attempting to get a screw into place with your mouth. Seven hours of trying to figure out how you managed to get the door handles inside instead of out and why you had to open the left door before the right door would open.

The first hour of all of this was spent trying to work out which piece was the floor. Deciding that it was the oblong section that had screw holes in it you had suitably attached it to what you thought was the right side. Whilst trying to balance on the washing basket and fix what you thought was the top onto what you thought was the side, you fell off seriously damaging your ankle and cutting your finger on the knife that had been lying beside the door. It was whilst looking upwards and deciding whether to nurse your ankle or suck on your bleeding finger that you noticed that the top was not the top after all. And that the bottom was actually an internal shelf and that the side that you had made so many holes in was after all, the door.

It was after seven hours that you managed to assemble a closet into some sort of order. One door did have a few extra holes in it and the other door did have a rather large coffee stain in the middle but it was together. Oh, and the back did look a mess as in a temper you had accidentally punched a hole through the thin plywood and nailed it crooked to the closet frame. The door handles that you had broken whilst removing them from the inside of the doors to the outside looked okay once taped together and the mirror that you had cracked was not needed anyway ? that you had removed outside to the garage never to be talked about again.

Tools away, cup back in the sink, plaster on the finger and a soaking hot bath later and you are sitting comfortably with a newspaper in front of the television. Secretly swearing to yourself that you would never ever do such a thing again. Pre-assembled furniture all the way from now on you say to yourself. The wife on her return complains about the coffee stain on the stairs, makes some comment about the closet looking like a twenty year-old disaster and then goes to make dinner. Operation Closet complete and behind you!

SIX MONTHS LATER

One fine day, there you are eating your cereal in the morning and the wife comes along and says, "we need a new dresser in the spare room". Your heart jumps and without falter you say "yes dear, I will get the car out on Saturday and look for something nice".

PART TWO: OPERATION DRESSER ? Coming Soon!

About The Author

Author and Webmaster of Seamania. As a Chief Engineer in the Merchant Navy he has sailed the world for fifteen years. Now living in Taiwan he writes about cultures across the globe and life as he sees it.

---

Glass Sinks ? 4 Unbreakable Rules of Buying a Glass Vessel Sink

1. Know your sinks How durable are these sinks? These... Read More

Electric Radiant Floor Heating

Electric radiant floor heating systems are heating systems designed for... Read More

Building Permits and Inspections

Probably the most intimidating part of building your own house... Read More

Allow Me to Introduce You to the Fungus Family

What exactly is mold? There are over 100,000 different kinds... Read More

How Stained Glass Can Add Elegance To Your Home

If there is one way to throw a new light... Read More

Home Improvement Projects That Really Pay Off

Many of us watch TV shows and see the miraculous... Read More

Hand Hooked Rugs

Hand hooked rugs are a great way to add splendor... Read More

Kitchen Cabinets are The Soul of Your Kitchen

Kitchen cabinets reflect the heart and soul of the homeowner.... Read More

Add A Room To Your Home With A Patio Awning

Do you need a patio awning for your lovely patio... Read More

Pre-Fabricated Steel Buildings

More and more construction is being done with steel in... Read More

10 Tips for Working With a Contractor

This is the year you're going all out. You're going... Read More

Basement Dehumidifiers

Basements are the most common location for dehumidifiers. Because of... Read More

The Right Shower Curtain For Your Bathroom!

A shower curtain can add the perfect touch to any... Read More

An Overview of Aluminium, Plastic and Timber Conservatories

Conservatories remain a popular accoutrement and attachment to homes throughout... Read More

Home Inspection: A Doctor Visit for Your Home

Has your house had a check up yet?Home inspection is... Read More

Tips To Improve The Quality Of Your Outdoor Space And Patio

It's easy to get overwhelmed trying to figure out just... Read More

Traditional Interior Design

Traditional interior design encompasses a great variety of elements in... Read More

Bakers Racks Add Flair And Style To Your Kitchen

Many items a person can add to the kitchen are... Read More

Five Ways to Create a Healthy Home

Have you ever thought of your home as being healthy... Read More

Sparkling, Clean Lighting Will Add The Perfect Touch To Your Home

When one thinks of the many factors that affect the... Read More

Tips For Breaking Away From White Wall Paint

Paint is one of the most affordable and easiest ways... Read More

Marble Information

Marble is any limestone or dolomite that can take a... Read More

Which Water Purification Systems Are Best? - A Comparison of the Three Most Common Technologies

Fresh water is essential to our health and comfort. Not... Read More

Where Did We Get Clocks From Anyway?

A clock is simply a device that measures time. Typical... Read More

Save Time & Money Doing Your Own Basic Electric Wiring

Hiring a professional electrician can be very expensive and is... Read More

Garage Doors

You may think choosing garage doors is straight forward, however... Read More

Installing a Home Theater System

Thinking about installing a home theater system? You're not alone.... Read More

Finding The Right Window Treatment In Los Angeles And Chicago

Some of the most unique and individual décor consultants can... Read More

How To Buy Double Glazing In The UK

Double glazing reduces heat loss through your windows. You can... Read More

The Benefits of Closet Dehumidifiers

If your clothes are getting moist and musty, and stretched... Read More

Planning Your In-Wall Speaker System

So you've finally decided to get your favorite music throughout... Read More

The Motors Best Friend

The starting current of motor can become 3 to 6... Read More

Hardwood Floor Refinishing - For The Faint of Heart

Are your beautiful hardwood floors not so beautiful anymore? Maybe... Read More