Be Selfish With Your Goals

All too often good-intentioned people set forth goals designed to satiate others rather than themselves. While the intent is honorable, the results will likely lead to failure. Why? As the somewhat provocative title of this article indicates, you need to be selfish with your goals and select ones that mean something to you.

Through segments on the evening news, magazines, talk shows, radio programming and even the advice of family and friends, we are consistently subjected to a whole litany of goals that anyone with half a brain should strive for. If we were to listen to all the experts, we would all need to be perfectly fit and rich individuals with at least two college majors under our belt.

Baloney.

Now I won't deny that there are tremendous benefits to being physically fit, financially well off or highly educated, but let's be honest here ? one doesn't require all of the above to live a successful and happy life. There are many somewhat overweight individuals that are quite happy to escape the annoyances of careful food selection and exercise and instead focus on earning money or spending time with family. By the same token, there are many physically fit individuals that see no need to bring in extraordinary levels of income to be happy; they would just as well get by with what they need to live.

I firmly believe all of us should constantly strive to improve ourselves, but there is no single blueprint that we should all follow. What might be important to me (business and management) might not be important to you, and vice versa. For this reason, when you are determining which goals you would like to pursue you should always block out the wishes of others and select goals that are dear to your heart.

This sounds incredibly selfish, but obviously I'm not advocating adopting a goal that would hurt others, and ideally in a committed relationship you and your significant other would share common goals. But when push comes to shove, if you choose a goal for someone else rather than yourself you will do yourself a huge disservice.

Take, for example, weight loss. Many overweight people lead happy and successful lives despite their weight; you don't have to be as fit as a fiddle to be happy. Let's say one of these somewhat overweight individuals decided one day to finally buckle under the constant societal harping about the benefits of weight loss and begin a diet program. What would happen?

Chances are very high the individual would adjust his diet and get off to a good start. Almost all of us are capable of losing a few pounds during the first couple weeks, particularly since much of the initial weight loss is water. But during this time chances are good the dieter will be fairly unhappy, and this unhappiness will fester over time. Eventually when the body stops losing water weight and shifts into fat loss, the weight loss will slow down to about a pound or two a week.

Throughout the diet the dieter's morale and optimistic outlook on life will suffer, and this might even affect other areas he was already successful with, such as his relationship with his family or his business. Eventually he will quit his diet in disgust, and immediately upon reverting to his old eating habits he will not only gain what he lost he'll also gain even more! Diets play havoc with the body's metabolism, so more often than not a person that quits a diet will end up weighing far more than had they never dieted to begin with.

Clearly weight loss is a fantastic goal that can provide a lifetime of benefits, but it isn't for everyone! If you are not passionate about such a goal, you could actually harm other areas of your life when stress is added and morale and motivation drops due to your lifestyle change, and then to add insult to injury you just might end up being heavier than you were had you not even tried to adopt to society's standards.

The above example holds true for every single goal under the sun. Many people love the business world and all its risks and challenges, but others would rather avoid the stressful situations and problems that all businessmen face. Perhaps they would rather live a middle-class lifestyle, stay physically fit and enjoy hiking or camping trips with a partner over the weekends during the time the business-oriented are probably working overtime.

Choose only the goals that are compatible with your desires and needs, because selecting an incompatible goal that society or family advocates is a virtually guaranteed formula for failure, and can very easily do more harm than good.

Copyright 2005 Goals and Motivation.com

Jeffrey Rolo is an experienced human resources manager, business owner and also the owner of Goals and Motivation.com, a website offering a free 20+ page guide on goal setting. Visit http://www.goals-and-motivation.com to view this guide as well as other articles about goals and management.

---

Creating Your Vision for Your Business, Career, and Life

Many people go through their daily lives feeling overwhelmed. There... Read More

Climb and Summit Mt. Goals

Are you trying to reach a goal that feels like... Read More

How to Achieve More by Dealing with Resistance

Today I want to discuss the missing link in goal... Read More

Fulfill Promises You Make to Yourself

I believe innately we all do our best. We work... Read More

Goal Objectives: Looking Ahead To Get Ahead With Planning

With goal objectives in mind, consider the organizers of a... Read More

Losing Site of Your Goals: Determining Your Vision From Your Actions!

In the fury of trying to accomplish our goals, we... Read More

A Brand New Year To Live

Have you ever started a new year with a New... Read More

Breaking Goals Down To The Basics

One of the primary reasons why people fail to execute... Read More

Planning for Success

The purpose of having an analytical brain is to use... Read More

Just Do It! Write Down Some Goals and Start Achieving!

You have a choice it would seem ? you can... Read More

Achieving Your Goal By Relieving Yourself In Public

Most marathons provide more than their fair share of heroes... Read More

What Words Will They Chisel Into Your Tombstone?

One day you will inevitably die. A morbid statement, I... Read More

The Easiest Way to Hit a Goal Is to Give Yourself One to Hit

It seems as though so many people are seeking more,... Read More

Fear the Future? Dont.

In one sense there are three parts of our lives.... Read More

Mind Over Matter -- The Power of Thoughts

One of the greatest challenges in life is understanding just... Read More

Check Your Frequency

From time to time we need to stop during our... Read More

Commitment

A true commitment is a heart felt promise to yourself,... Read More

When Expectations Are Not Clear!

IntroductionThere were two incidents, which inspired me to write this... Read More

Finding Your Niche

Why are there so much stress and unhappiness in the... Read More

Plant! -- And Accept The Consequences!

Welcome to Weekly Wisdoms. Last week I found a new... Read More

Focal Point Of Success

Fortune will flow into your hands like a river flow... Read More

The Power of the Negative

The vast majority of us learn very early on that... Read More

Stop Scoring Own Goals

Own goals are actions, things we do, that stop us... Read More

Top 10 Ways to Ensure New Years Resolution Success

Did you know that fewer than 10% of people who... Read More

A Simple Solution For Accomplishing Any Goal

Have you ever had someone ask you to do some... Read More

The Synergy of Vision

Over the years I have experienced some amazing results with... Read More

Goals Can Take Years To Achieve

Should goals take a long time?Yes and No.Yes, goals should... Read More

Intense Desire: Rocket Fuel When You Set Goals!

Have you set goals, personal or business, and failed to... Read More

Be Discontented With The Status Quo

It is natural to be satisfied with the way things... Read More

Top Ten Ways to Achieve Your Goals

1) Write them down! Statistics show people who write down... Read More

The Great American Dream Challenge

Pull Quote: "the secret to living a "dream come true"... Read More

Make Your Goals Stick

The amazing thing about the future is that if you... Read More

Put Wings On Your Dreams

We Need DreamsDreams are important. Not the dreams you have... Read More