Babies Bring Love, Joy, and Opinions

The old saying "babies aren't born with instruction manuals" has opened the door for unwanted advice from family and friends, alike. If you're a mother, specifically a "new" mother, at first you may appreciate the guidance of those that went before you. But eventually even the most patient of women will break. You will most likely become a hermit, hiding the car in the garage, locking the doors, turning the ringer off and avoiding anyone that perceives themselves as an "expert" on the subject of motherhood and newborns. So before you become a recluse and start avoiding all human contact; here's some more advice on "unwanted" advice.

Often times, a new mother's insecurities get the best of her, and in all honesty, this happens to all mothers; not just the "new" ones. As mothers, we're always questioning our abilities to raise our children. You want the best for them and fear you'll make bad choices, its human nature. Therefore, when someone offers advice or guidance, we often take their words as criticism. But in all reality, most family and friends mean to help, not judge. Open your mind to their words; ignore the little voice inside your head that says they're judging you. In most instances, these same people have been giving you "unwanted" advice for years and you've never paid any attention to it. The insecurities of having a newborn often times warrants defensive behaviors when faced with unwanted advice. However, motherhood is a learning experience; it starts at the birth and never ends. Listening to family and friends that have walked in your shoes before can, however, be a soothing and rewarding experience.

Everyone will have opinions on certain circumstances and if you listen closely, even theirs will differ from one another. Pretty soon, you find yourself throwing your hands up and surrendering like General Lee. However, often times by educating yourself on what the actual "experts" say can eliminate the frustration and the insecurities that a new mom will face. Educating yourself on the best choices that you can make for your newborn can build self-confidence, self-respect, and sanity.

It is very important for mother's to have a good relationship with their infant's pediatrician, as well. Often times, the trust you put into your child's doctor will help fight off those insecurities that you may have. A pediatrician sees most infants several times during the first few months of their lives. These are great opportunities for mother's to ask questions. Keep a notebook handy, write down concerns that you have, or questions.

Lighthearted advice is just that, when given it's meant to be taken as helpful hints and suggestions. However, in some instances, you will have family and friends insisting on "their way" of doing things. When this circumstance occurs, be prepared. Thank the person and tell them you will consider their advice, quote what you have read from child-rearing books, explain to them that you and your child's pediatrician has discussed the matter and you're following doctors orders. If all else fails, change the subject or leave the room.

In many circumstances, especially those that are short-term, you may consider following the person's advice while they are present. In all reality, they will leave and when they do, so can their advice. Short-term circumstances that have no long-term effects are just that. They won't warp or change the big picture. If your mother-in-law comes to your house to "help", and suggests adding more blankets to the crib or turning the heat up because the baby looks cold, just go with it. When she does leave, you can quickly undo the heartfelt actions.

Often times, you may find yourself in a circumstance where all other methods of deterring an opinion or advice have failed. You have tried avoiding the subject, quoting a doctor or expert, and even ignoring the advice. But yet still, the person insists on you listening to them. It is at this time that you have to result to what I call, "the truth". In the kindest fashion possible, you explain to them your honest feelings on the subject, you express gratitude that they care, but in all honesty, the child is yours and you know what's best. If you're uncomfortable saying this to someone; ask a friend, your husband, or another family member to talk to the person and explain to them your true feelings on the situation.

It's important to surround yourself with positive people. If possible, find other mother's that share your views and values. Then, as mother's you can swap stories, not advice.

http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/newborn_baby.htm

Dr. James Brann is a board certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist and a Fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. He is also the Editor of Women's Healthcare Topics an information source for all women.

http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com

---

Where Will You Give Birth To Your Baby?

Where To Give Birth..You have a choice where to have... Read More

Baby Sunglasses

It might appear to be sufficient to apply some high... Read More

Baby Pool Floats ? Teach Babies To Swim With Fun and Safety

There is nothing more fun than getting your baby used... Read More

How to Choose a Baby Bathtub

Choosing a baby bathtub is likely one of the easiest... Read More

Baby Slings - Comfort for Both the Child and the Parent

Baby slings are one of those things that have been... Read More

How To Stop Toddlers From Biting

It is an unfortunate fact of life but, unfortunately, toddlers... Read More

Fun Nursery Themes That Will Even Have Your Baby Talking!

There are many whimsical, fun baby room themes if you... Read More

Baby Furniture Buyers Guide

Communication between the guests would be wise to prevent any... Read More

Baby Gift Registry

A furniture gift registry helps us streamline to the best... Read More

Childrens Backpack Safety and Comfort

One of the easiest and safest ways to carry your... Read More

4 Tips for Taking Great Baby Pictures - Even If Youre Not a Professional

When my daughter Layla was born I had a hard... Read More

The Colic Baby

When a baby has colic, the family environment is stressful... Read More

Honor Grandma with a Baby Shower for Grandma

Throwing a baby shower for grandma could be a great... Read More

Child Safety in the Home

In the 15-year period from 1982 to 1996, the leading... Read More

Baby Shower Planning and Hosting

Planning and organization are crucial to hosting a successful baby... Read More

Human Milk Bank Donor Helps Premature and Sick Infants and Children

Lisa Fozo (37), a Fair Oaks resident, wanted to breastfeed... Read More

Baby Shower Games to Make Your Baby Shower Exciting

The perfect way to spoil the baby shower games is... Read More

Information on Purchasing Babys Dresser

Babys dresser or baby chest of drawers make up the... Read More

Favorite Cake Flavors for Baby and Bridal Showers

A cake is an excellent treat at any party, especially... Read More

When Should Your Baby Wear Shoes?

There is actually a bit of controversy about this question.... Read More

Potty Training Your Child: The Five Potty Training Methods

There are many different ways to potty train your toddler.... Read More

Baby Gift Guide

Having a baby is one of the most amazing things... Read More

Robeez Shoes ? A Baby Shower Gift That Moms Will Thank You For

Robeez shoes help your baby put their best foot forwardIf... Read More

How to Clean Those Lovable Plush Toys

Are YOUR Stuffed Animals DIRTY?Stuffed animals and dollies can lead... Read More

Baby Eating Habits ? Which Approach Do You Take

One of the first decisions we make is if we... Read More

How To Look For Baby Books

Look for Books! The books that you pick to read... Read More

How to Choose a Diaper Bag

Even though it's a popular shower gift, you may want... Read More

Choosing Baby Names for Twins

Choosing a baby name for your new born can be... Read More

Unusual Baby Boy Names - Finding Exotic and Unique Baby Names

Unusual baby boy names and finding exotic and unique baby... Read More

Feng Shui Fertility: Six Ways to Create More Baby Chi

Today, feng shui is used for everything from arranging office... Read More

The Personality Traits Of An Aries Baby

Your Aries Baby..21 March - 19 April.A typical Aries has... Read More

10 Items of the Well-Stocked Diaper Bag

Does your diaper bag have everything you need in it?... Read More

Teach Your Baby To Read English

If your child's first language is not English, he or... Read More