Babies Bring Love, Joy, and Opinions

The old saying "babies aren't born with instruction manuals" has opened the door for unwanted advice from family and friends, alike. If you're a mother, specifically a "new" mother, at first you may appreciate the guidance of those that went before you. But eventually even the most patient of women will break. You will most likely become a hermit, hiding the car in the garage, locking the doors, turning the ringer off and avoiding anyone that perceives themselves as an "expert" on the subject of motherhood and newborns. So before you become a recluse and start avoiding all human contact; here's some more advice on "unwanted" advice.

Often times, a new mother's insecurities get the best of her, and in all honesty, this happens to all mothers; not just the "new" ones. As mothers, we're always questioning our abilities to raise our children. You want the best for them and fear you'll make bad choices, its human nature. Therefore, when someone offers advice or guidance, we often take their words as criticism. But in all reality, most family and friends mean to help, not judge. Open your mind to their words; ignore the little voice inside your head that says they're judging you. In most instances, these same people have been giving you "unwanted" advice for years and you've never paid any attention to it. The insecurities of having a newborn often times warrants defensive behaviors when faced with unwanted advice. However, motherhood is a learning experience; it starts at the birth and never ends. Listening to family and friends that have walked in your shoes before can, however, be a soothing and rewarding experience.

Everyone will have opinions on certain circumstances and if you listen closely, even theirs will differ from one another. Pretty soon, you find yourself throwing your hands up and surrendering like General Lee. However, often times by educating yourself on what the actual "experts" say can eliminate the frustration and the insecurities that a new mom will face. Educating yourself on the best choices that you can make for your newborn can build self-confidence, self-respect, and sanity.

It is very important for mother's to have a good relationship with their infant's pediatrician, as well. Often times, the trust you put into your child's doctor will help fight off those insecurities that you may have. A pediatrician sees most infants several times during the first few months of their lives. These are great opportunities for mother's to ask questions. Keep a notebook handy, write down concerns that you have, or questions.

Lighthearted advice is just that, when given it's meant to be taken as helpful hints and suggestions. However, in some instances, you will have family and friends insisting on "their way" of doing things. When this circumstance occurs, be prepared. Thank the person and tell them you will consider their advice, quote what you have read from child-rearing books, explain to them that you and your child's pediatrician has discussed the matter and you're following doctors orders. If all else fails, change the subject or leave the room.

In many circumstances, especially those that are short-term, you may consider following the person's advice while they are present. In all reality, they will leave and when they do, so can their advice. Short-term circumstances that have no long-term effects are just that. They won't warp or change the big picture. If your mother-in-law comes to your house to "help", and suggests adding more blankets to the crib or turning the heat up because the baby looks cold, just go with it. When she does leave, you can quickly undo the heartfelt actions.

Often times, you may find yourself in a circumstance where all other methods of deterring an opinion or advice have failed. You have tried avoiding the subject, quoting a doctor or expert, and even ignoring the advice. But yet still, the person insists on you listening to them. It is at this time that you have to result to what I call, "the truth". In the kindest fashion possible, you explain to them your honest feelings on the subject, you express gratitude that they care, but in all honesty, the child is yours and you know what's best. If you're uncomfortable saying this to someone; ask a friend, your husband, or another family member to talk to the person and explain to them your true feelings on the situation.

It's important to surround yourself with positive people. If possible, find other mother's that share your views and values. Then, as mother's you can swap stories, not advice.

http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/newborn_baby.htm

Dr. James Brann is a board certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist and a Fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. He is also the Editor of Women's Healthcare Topics an information source for all women.

http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com

---

Baby Development - But What Role do Parents Play?

It is truly amazing the development that a baby experiences... Read More

Basic Guide To Choosing Toys For Babies

A baby's only activities until the age of two months... Read More

Infantile Cradle Cap - Symptoms and Treatments

What is cradle cap?What is the cause?No one really knows... Read More

Baby Shower for Mom and the Ladies

Baby Shower for Moms who just wanna have fun! This... Read More

Baby Bedding Wants Vs. Bedding Baby Needs

If you walk into any baby store or online baby... Read More

Your Baby Nursery - Decorating a Fabulous and Functional Room

Decorating a baby nursery can be one of the most... Read More

How to Buy Used Baby Clothes Online!

There are multitudes of ways to purchase used clothing for... Read More

4 Tips for Taking Great Baby Pictures - Even If Youre Not a Professional

When my daughter Layla was born I had a hard... Read More

Tips To Get Your Child To Stop Using A Pacifier

Limit the time you allow your child to use a... Read More

Learning Activities For Your Baby

Books and Babies - For babies from age 6 weeks... Read More

Choosing Baby Names

Take Your Time The worst thing you could do when... Read More

Potty Training Readiness Signals - Is Your Child Ready To Be Potty Trained?

So, you are thinking about potty training your toddler and... Read More

Better Health and Happiness for Your Baby

The design of your home has an amazing affect on... Read More

How To Deal With Toddler Temper Tantrums

It's one of the few things your child can do... Read More

Aromatherapy For Babies

Before reading this article keep in mind that most doctors... Read More

How to Choose a Diaper Pail for Disposable Diapers

When you have already made the decision not to use... Read More

Baby Girl Shower Invitations

Baby girl shower invitations basic theme is the welcoming of... Read More

Baby Shower Planning and Hosting

Planning and organization are crucial to hosting a successful baby... Read More

Using Baby Signing To Communicate With Your Young Child

Baby Signing..Around 20 years ago, two American doctors discovered baby... Read More

The Personality Traits Of A Taurus Baby

Your Taurus Baby..April 20 - May 20Taurus babies are usually... Read More

The Personality Traits of a Pisces Baby

Your Pisces Baby..February 19 - March 20Your baby will have... Read More

Baby?s First Year ? What to Expect

As a new Mom, you are probably wondering about many... Read More

Infant Car Seats

Finding the best car seats for your child: To escape... Read More

Protecting Your Baby and Toddler from the Sun

Babies and young children have thinner and more delicate skin... Read More

How to Help Your Children Learn

We all want the very best for our children and... Read More

Childrens Bedroom Furniture - Three Mothers Share Their Buying Habits

Just two months ago, a group of mothers from three... Read More

The Colic Baby

When a baby has colic, the family environment is stressful... Read More

Perfect Baby Shower Hostess Gifts

Picture this; you are invited to a baby shower. How... Read More

Is It Colic, Infant Reflux, Or GERD? Learn How To Tell The Difference

It can sometimes be difficult for a parent to understand... Read More

Mobiles For Babies Can Prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Mobiles are well known for its effectiveness in capturing and... Read More

Intersting Baby Facts - Strange But True!

* A baby is born every seven seconds.* Babies are... Read More

Keeping Your New Baby Safe

After all the baby furniture is purchased, you'll have to... Read More

Childrens Backpack Safety and Comfort

One of the easiest and safest ways to carry your... Read More