"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, raped before you; yet, someone survived" - Maya Angelou
"Do not grieve. Misfortunes do not flourish particularly in our path. They grow everywhere." These words spoken by Omalia Indian Chief Big Elk in 1815 are worth repeating today. When adversity appears in our lives, we often feel victimized, alone and helpless. A very deep look at the lives of successful people shows that misfortunes do not just strike selected individuals. It is inevitable in all our lives. The big challenge is how we choose to handle the situations and what we can learn from it.
One thing I have learnt is that the experience of our misfortune or adversity allows us to be strong. Like in baking bread, the more the heat the more the bread gets bigger and better. It enables some other people the opportunity to develop new strengths and etch their personal statements on life with deep conviction.
Reverend Jesse Jackson overcame a heritage of poverty to become Democrats' Presidential candidate. He once said: "My mother was a teenager-mother and her mother was a teenager-mother. With scholarships and help, I manage to get education. Success to me is being born in a poor or disadvantage family and making something of yourself."
Those who are familiar with the success story of the late Nigerian billionaire, Bashorun MKO Abiola, know that he came from a poor background and went on to become a billionaire before he died.
Award winning American television and movie Producer cum Writer, Norman Lear, revealed that he grew up observing the marriage of his parents, he said: "I looked at two people who lived at the top of their lungs, on the ragged end of their nerves. In self-defence, I had to find the humour." Out of that situation he chose to make a positive statement about a negative view of life in the form of comedy. As a result he wrote 'Divorce American Style', 'Mande, All in the Family,' and other television shows. This probably helped to heal some of his internal childhood wounds. It is said that perhaps one of the reasons these shows have been so popular is that they touch familiar chords in the hearts of many Americans.
Mary Tyler Moore (Ladies Home Journal. September, 1987) believes the difficulties she has encountered in her life made her stronger. A diabetic and recovering alcoholic, she suffered the tragedy of having her son fatally shoot himself. She said philosophically: "Pain nourishes my courage. You can't be brave if you've had only wonderful things happen to you."
I once met somebody, who, at 38 was still lamenting that the reason why he has not made it in life is because he lost his father when he was 12 and since then his life has not been the same again, and to cap it, he said his mother wasn't rich. I told him that I lost my father when I was 8 and my mother was not rich either but I am making something out of my seemingly meaningless life.
I then went on to tell him that I acquire the ability to achieve from the necessity of having to work as a child, that the best thing that happened to me was growing up as they say, 'on the other side of the track', without having the benefit of a wealthy set of parents. Anything I wanted I had to go out and hustle and scrap for and I think that was a definite advantage for me. A good friend of mine once told me that adversity brings out the strength, not only of an individual, but of a nation as well.
The only way you can profit from the experience of others is by learning how they pushed themselves past tragedies or difficult times that could have provided a haven for self-pity. We can learn to work through a situation and find ways to succeed, given who we are and not who we might have been.
The average person starts off in life with negative emotions. As he grows through life, negative emotions begin to accumulate like souvenirs. It is impossible for us to realize our full potentials unless we leave our negative emotions behind. Life is a process; each stage is vital, not to be missed, forgotten or overlooked.
When we give up, give in or shut down we are liable to be run over by the process. If you are the master of yourself and you did not allow others and events of the past dictate the direction of your life, you are bound to win.
Dayo Olomu is a UK-based Motivational Speaker, Writer, Business/Life Coach, Trainer, Media Entrepreneur and Competent Toastmaster. His core belief is that we are all endowed with seeds of greatness, and his mission is to help individuals and organisations achieve their full potentials. He is the author of best selling "4 Indispensable Strategies for Success" and the President of Croydon Communicators Toastmasters. Get his FREE monthly Rise to the Top ezine by sending a blank email to subscribe@dayoolomu.com or visit his website at: www.dayoolomu.com
I've yet to meet the person who never struggles with... Read More
Decades ago, I saw a metaphysical movie that wonderfully illustrates... Read More
An Attitude of Gratitude. How important is this to you... Read More
With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be especially appropriate... Read More
Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel... Read More
WE ARE ALL THINKING ALL OF THE TIME.Can you believe... Read More
There is a growing appreciation of the impact of psychic... Read More
Sometimes we are in a position to look into the... Read More
The surge of emotions.During the middle ages, the court jester... Read More
One Friday in November, I began a journey from New... Read More
(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower,... Read More
Life shouldn't be so complicated. Have you ever wondered why... Read More
Most of what we've been taught about how to be... Read More
Well you know about the young hero who saved his... Read More
It would be pretty hard to become successful without first... Read More
I don't want to say people are basically negative but?..if... Read More
"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone... Read More
"Who am I fooling?" "I'm a loser," "I'm too old,"... Read More
Why do we help others? There is a whole lot... Read More
"In life, if you give yourself a concession, you'd take... Read More
Why do we have such a downer on Pollyanna? After... Read More
The mind absolutely amazes me. It will never be understood,... Read More
I will never forget an evening in 2003, when I... Read More
HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGERJane... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
I once heard the story of a grown bear that... Read More
"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you, hungry before... Read More
Do you feel that your negative thoughts are holding you... Read More
A more positive future, a happier life, a body that's... Read More
As I swooshed down the Zoom Flume water slide at... Read More
Resentment isn't a spectacular emotion, but it is long-lasting and... Read More
This week I happened to catch a few minutes of... Read More
As we enter this holiday season, and this time of... Read More
I loved Norman Vincent Peale's, Power of Positive Thinking as... Read More
I was playing tennis today with one of my tennis... Read More
Gratitude is one of the most important things you can... Read More
When I was little I was very busy--as I imagine... Read More
THOUGHTS are powerful. The power of THOUGHTS cannot be underestimated.... Read More
I don't know about you, but for me, the technological... Read More
Need a way to make your life a better place... Read More
There are countless books that describe success principles. Here are... Read More
How many times have you heard someone say, "Hey, cheer... Read More
Fear is a double-edged sword. It can hold you back... Read More
"In life, if you give yourself a concession, you'd take... Read More
Remember Des'ree? She had a great song out in 1994,... Read More
In the international bestseller, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell explains how researchers... Read More
Why do patients who are given placebo pills report that... Read More
Just 2 nights ago my partner and I were watching... Read More
If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't... Read More
Recently a great idea popped into my head about creating... Read More
Near the end of December 2004, I received an email... Read More
You've been looking for a job for as long as... Read More
Every emotion, wether we classify it as good or bad,... Read More
I had a completely different idea for my main article... Read More
We have often missed the mark because we believe we... Read More
It's time to put a bad rumor to rest right... Read More
What does it take to succeed? How can you move... Read More
Speaking comes to most people as naturally as breathing. On... Read More
Hospital patient undergoing surgery recounts how Hero Soul provided strength,... Read More
In the self-help and wellness industry, a mission has been... Read More
Some people are full of confidence and able to meet... Read More
Many of the books on this page were inspired by... Read More
Everything exists twice. First, in your mind. Later, before you... Read More
Ten tips to transform your move into a creative life... Read More
There was some sunshine this weekend while I was writing... Read More
Turn brutality into kindness. There is no small deed and... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |