Ten Beliefs That Can Contribute to an Unhappy Marriage

Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn't happier? If so, you're not alone. Numerous spouses are struggling with the same question.

At least part of the answer may lie in the words you use in your self-talk and in what you say to your spouse. And what you believe, the lies you tell to yourself or to your spouse, and what you deny or rationalize will all affect your marriage intimacy and happiness.

Read the following ten statements and see if you recognize yourself in any of them. If so, it's never too late to make positive changes.

1. It doesn't matter if I don't tell the complete truth once in awhile as long as not knowing doesn't hurt him in any way. (You're lying to yourself.)

2. I'm not going to tell him how much our daughter's prom dress really cost because it would only upset him. (Lying never solves the real problem.)

3. She'd come unglued if she knew my old girlfriend called me today, so I just won't mention it. (And when she finds out later, you'll have some major trust issues to work through.)

4. The only reason I'm telling you that you're getting fat and need to lose weight is for your own good. (But that's not the only reason you're bringing this up, and your spouse knows it.)

5. It doesn't matter if we don't have sex very often now that we've been married for five years. (You're only fooling yourself.)

6. I deserve to be treated better, and I'm going to find a way to get even. (The game of getting even always has two losers.)

7. It doesn't matter what I look like and how I dress now that we're married. (Neatness and cleanliness always count, and dressing up for a "date" with your spouse can add excitement to your relationship.)

8. We'd be happier if you were more like Jackie's husband. (You're implying that you'd like him better if he changed. Your spouse will resent you for the comparison and be even more resistant to changing.)

9. We're going to do something special together just as soon as the car is paid off (our son graduates from college, the house is paid for, we build up our savings, etc.). (Even on a low-cost budget, you can find special things to do to have fun and build memories now.)

10. I'll really be happy when I retire in fifteen years. (Focusing on future contentment is a set up for missing opportunities to be happy now in the present moment-happy with yourself, your spouse, your marriage, and your life.)

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.

---

Outdoor Wedding Ceremonies ? Keeping Your Guest Comfortable

According to a survey conducted in 2003 by Bride's magazine,... Read More

Wedding Flowers

The selection process of your wedding flowers will usually begin... Read More

Wedding Reception Made for You

No matter how well you plan all the aspects of... Read More

Tips For A Lasting Marriage

My parents gave me this advice about marriage. They have... Read More

Six Ways to Decorate Your Wedding Arch

Sometimes a wedding arch is a no-brainer way to spruce... Read More

Wedding Planning Ideas and Guidelines

Wedding planning is a difficult task for everyone. Unless you... Read More

Doing Things Your Own Way

No one said that you had to follow the rule... Read More

Moissanite Bridal Rings ?True Choice Of The Young Heart

What best way can a bride think of rising to... Read More

Ending Co-Dependence

Why does Co-dependence arise? Well because two or more individuals... Read More

The Bachelor Party: A Guide For The Best Man

If you forget the ring, there is still a chance... Read More

Honeymoon Registries: A Guide to Asking for Your Honeymoon as a Wedding Gift

Is the cost of your wedding putting the honeymoon of... Read More

Indian Astrology and Marriages

Astrology is considered to be the oldest of all sciences,... Read More

Florida Beach Weddings

There is nothing more romantic than a wedding by water... Read More

Weddings - Wedding Plan - Wedding Planner Tools - Ten Essential Tips

Getting Married? Congratulations! You just set the date for the... Read More

How To Choose The Right Wedding Bouquet Style

Basically, there are three wedding bouquet styles. The cascade, round... Read More

Be Thankful for a Faithful Husband

If your husband is faithful, you have much to be... Read More

Net Savvy Indian Brides and Grooms

India is a diverse, multi-cultural country with people of various... Read More

Expressions of Devotion: Buying Engagement Rings, Wedding Rings, and Wedding Bands Online

Ritual symbolism abounds in everything we do; this is particularly... Read More

Las Vegas Theme Weddings

"Las Vegas theme weddings are the envy of the world.... Read More

Honeymoon Destinations

Your big day is now over all the stress of... Read More

The SURGE of the URGE!

Have you ever heard the expression, "The Urge to Merge"?It... Read More

The Wedding Aisle - Who is Walking You Down it?

Choosing who should walk down the aisle with you is... Read More

Wedding Day Savings

A little strategizing can go a long way when trying... Read More

Common Format Of A Wedding Reception

The following article can be copied but you must keep... Read More

Trust in Marriage

Trust is the basis of all human relationships. Trust can... Read More

Wedding Tips for Saving Your Sanity and Your Bank Account

Overwhelmed is a common feeling a bride-to-be experiences as she... Read More

Get Organized for Wedding Planning!

You've had friends to your home for dinner. Maybe you've... Read More

Setting a diamond - What to know.

When it comes to placing your new diamond in a... Read More

What Happens If You Dont Wear Proper Wedding Shoes?

Here comes the bride! Walking through the alley confidence holding... Read More

Wedding Favor Creator

Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to... Read More

Prescription for a Happy Marriage

Prescription for a happy marriage: one cup of tea or... Read More

A Look at Maui Wedding Cakes

Since Maui and Hawaii in general have been blessed with... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 4

When Maria Callas first appeared on the international scene, she... Read More