Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn't happier? If so, you're not alone. Numerous spouses are struggling with the same question.
At least part of the answer may lie in the words you use in your self-talk and in what you say to your spouse. And what you believe, the lies you tell to yourself or to your spouse, and what you deny or rationalize will all affect your marriage intimacy and happiness.
Read the following ten statements and see if you recognize yourself in any of them. If so, it's never too late to make positive changes.
1. It doesn't matter if I don't tell the complete truth once in awhile as long as not knowing doesn't hurt him in any way. (You're lying to yourself.)
2. I'm not going to tell him how much our daughter's prom dress really cost because it would only upset him. (Lying never solves the real problem.)
3. She'd come unglued if she knew my old girlfriend called me today, so I just won't mention it. (And when she finds out later, you'll have some major trust issues to work through.)
4. The only reason I'm telling you that you're getting fat and need to lose weight is for your own good. (But that's not the only reason you're bringing this up, and your spouse knows it.)
5. It doesn't matter if we don't have sex very often now that we've been married for five years. (You're only fooling yourself.)
6. I deserve to be treated better, and I'm going to find a way to get even. (The game of getting even always has two losers.)
7. It doesn't matter what I look like and how I dress now that we're married. (Neatness and cleanliness always count, and dressing up for a "date" with your spouse can add excitement to your relationship.)
8. We'd be happier if you were more like Jackie's husband. (You're implying that you'd like him better if he changed. Your spouse will resent you for the comparison and be even more resistant to changing.)
9. We're going to do something special together just as soon as the car is paid off (our son graduates from college, the house is paid for, we build up our savings, etc.). (Even on a low-cost budget, you can find special things to do to have fun and build memories now.)
10. I'll really be happy when I retire in fifteen years. (Focusing on future contentment is a set up for missing opportunities to be happy now in the present moment-happy with yourself, your spouse, your marriage, and your life.)
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
Once you've mortgaged the rest of your life for the... Read More
When you think about couples who renew their wedding vows,... Read More
One of the most memorable days in our lives is... Read More
While through history brides have agonized over what to wear... Read More
Hopefully, you've read my prerequisite lesson "Invitation Anatomy 101 ?... Read More
When it comes to your catering services for your wedding,... Read More
Every marriage has its ups and downs, its rough periods.... Read More
On Friday, 1st May 1835, Mr Charles Dickens, the creator... Read More
It's safe to say that out of all the events... Read More
Computer printed labels are a time-saver, but they make the... Read More
The symbolism of Celtic Diamond Rings is relevant to all... Read More
Is it to be a summer wedding or winter wedding?... Read More
Marriage and Attraction: Relation is successful as long as there... Read More
You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made... Read More
It's time to look for a banquet facility. Most clients... Read More
The most unique beach wedding reception ideas are sparked by... Read More
Simply put, intimacy is more than sex or making love.... Read More
Wish to make that one day in your life really... Read More
In 2004' Rockland Maine celebrated its 150th anniversary, yet very... Read More
This is intended as a guide to help you plan... Read More
My husband and I have a perfect marriage.There. I said... Read More
You have to start with a thorough to do list... Read More
Wedding shower invitations should lay out all of the necessary... Read More
Being disc jockeys, we get the opportunity to evaluate many... Read More
How do you handle arguments that lead to heated exchanges... Read More
If there are wedding bells in your future, then surely... Read More
From the book Spider's Big CatchAs June wraps its arms... Read More
Planning as early as possible for your wedding is the... Read More
If you're like most people, you probably entered into marriage... Read More
The wedding favor box carries on the timeless tradition established... Read More
A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one... Read More
It's really not difficult to ruin what could have been... Read More
You can rest assured that the charm of your Maui... Read More
Any marriage counselor will tell you that one of the... Read More
Providing chocolate as a wedding favor has been a time... Read More
Computer printed labels are a time-saver, but they make the... Read More
Being a best man is like many duties you will... Read More
When it comes to your wedding services, nobody wants to... Read More
While through history brides have agonized over what to wear... Read More
Just because you don't have a lot of money doesn't... Read More
Basically, there are three wedding bouquet styles. The cascade, round... Read More
When you're married, the boundaries between yourself and your spouse... Read More
Getting the wedding tables right can make a big difference... Read More
Many happy couples are turning their backs on the traditional... Read More
A bridal shower is an excellent way for the bride... Read More
There is little doubt that planning a wedding can be... Read More
Planning as early as possible for your wedding is the... Read More
Let's talk about writing love letters.Not candy coated pap. Not... Read More
Because many men do not discuss feelings as easily as... Read More
Asian-themed weddings are on the rise, and at first this... Read More
Rounding up the guys to devour some barbecued red meat... Read More
Of all the things you need to do, buy and... Read More
A 50th anniversary gift commemorates a milestone most married couples... Read More
No matter how well you plan all the aspects of... Read More
When two people - destined for each other, come together,... Read More
Thousands of years ago, the Celts, a group of independent... Read More
So you're toying with the idea of getting married? Maybe... Read More
1) Write a mission statement:Most brides spend more time planning... Read More
You have begun to plan your wedding and you want... Read More
It is wrong if you thought that typical British weddings... Read More
It is the maid of honor's duty to organize the... Read More
If you're looking to the internet for help with your... Read More
Wedding receptions are expensive affairs and can set you back... Read More
OK, so you have your heart set on the top... Read More
Movies, sitcoms and soapies made in the United States could... Read More
All brides want to be beautiful on their wedding day,... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |