Enhancing Communication in Marriage

In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It's not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.

Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.

You may find that it's difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.

Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.

Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non-verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:

* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;

* Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint;

* Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly;

* Not stopping what you're doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you;

* Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention;

* Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation;

* Tuning your spouse out because you've heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it's the same old speech;

* Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out;

* Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face.

* Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking.

It has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.

If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give." While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.

---

Wedding Reception Made for You

No matter how well you plan all the aspects of... Read More

Intimacy, What is It Really?

Simply put, intimacy is more than sex or making love.... Read More

Marriage Advice: Upgrade Your Marriage By Changing Your Focus

As the story goes, a Cherokee elder was sitting with... Read More

Weddings - Who Pays For What?

Of course, times have changed and there are occasions where... Read More

Wedding Shower Invitations: An Overview

The purpose of a wedding shower is to celebrate the... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 6

It wasn't the wedding of the century. Six people in... Read More

Chocolate Wedding Favors

Providing chocolate as a wedding favor has been a time... Read More

Man Made Diamonds, The Affordable Alternative

Diamonds may be a woman's best friend, but modern man... Read More

The Wide Range of Maui Wedding Ceremonies

Whatever your religious affiliation, or whatever you'd like to experience,... Read More

Honeymoon Destinations

Your big day is now over all the stress of... Read More

Alternatives to Diamond Rings ? What Choices Do You Have?

There is little doubt that planning a wedding can be... Read More

Let Them Eat Cake -- Just Not at Your Wedding

It's a fact, however odd it seems, that some brides... Read More

Renewing Your Marriage Vows - On the Right Side of the Law

Movies, sitcoms and soapies made in the United States could... Read More

Wedding Etiquette for the Best Man, Groomsmen, and Ushers

Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good... Read More

What Can We Learn From the ?Runaway Bride? Story?

Have you heard enough about the "Runaway Bride" yet? Well,... Read More

10 Valentines Day Tips for Spouses Who Want to Improve Their Marriage

The best and most valuable gifts are often not material... Read More

The (American) Bride Wore Red

Increasing numbers of American brides are thinking about doing the... Read More

Wedding Gifts for Second Marriages

Second marriages can be a tricky situation for a variety... Read More

How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon

1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or... Read More

8 Questions Brides Ask About Setting up a Wedding Registry

In theory, setting up a registry is simple. You decide... Read More

Keeping A Marriage Romantic

My belief is that most relationship problems should be given... Read More

Top 5 Reasons for Hiring a Wedding Planner

One of the most joyous occasions in life is a... Read More

Is Your Marriage Sinking?

Reading this article does not necessarily mean that if you... Read More

A Wedding Theme Can Rescue Your Wedding from Being Another Ho-Hum-Boring Disaster

Are you a Bride-to-Be? Wonderful! Congratulations! But what's that enormous... Read More

A Butterfly Release; Alternatives to Throwing Rice

Brides are looking for different ways to make their wedding... Read More

Wedding Dresses - What To Wear

You have begun to plan your wedding and you want... Read More

Basic Tips for Planning a Wedding

Planning a wedding should be fun and exciting. However, if... Read More

Setting a diamond - What to know.

When it comes to placing your new diamond in a... Read More

Fabulous Wedding Favors For Every Budget

Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower,... Read More

Wedding Planning: Tips for Choosing Online Wedding Vendors

If you're looking to the internet for help with your... Read More

Loose Moissanite Stones, A Great Way to Buy Your Moissanite Jewelry

Moissanite is fast becoming the new diamonds. The newest jewelry... Read More

Infidelity: How ?My Marriage Made Me Do It? is a Cop-out

Ask someone why they had, or are having an affair... Read More

How to Select a Wedding Photographer

Selecting a wedding photographer can be a daunting task. Not... Read More